Here's what I went out and bought this afternoon to meet my 'needs' - a small buttons Easter egg (yes, there are still a few left in the shops), a box of Weight Watchers (ironic, I know) carrot cake slices, a packet of cashew nuts, a chocolate muffin mousse, two kitkats (I ate one of them on the way home), two Freddo bars, a plain chocolate bar (apparently they're less addictive...?), some maltesers, a Dairy Milk bar, three strawberry trifles and a bag of mini chocolate eggs. I expect much of this will have been consumed by this time tomorrow - on top of my normal 'meals'. Of course, my meals are generally quite 'healthy' and I experience a good level of restriction when I eat them. But this lot - no chance - no restriction whatever.I looked up 'how do I stop emotional eating' on the web today and came across an organisation called Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous - they're U.S-based and styled on A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous). Unbelievably, there's a group operating in Liverpool so once I am back from my travels (I am away in Washington D.C. from Thursday for a week), I may give them a call and see if they can help.
I used to call my bingeing 'comfort eating' but I've given it a lot of thought and I know I don't just do it for 'comfort' - it's also when I'm lonely, stressed, fearful, bored, anxious, lacking courage, self esteem or confidence, and just about any other negative emotion you can think of. It's clearly a serious problem for me and one that threatens to jeopardise my band success so far. I have to get it sorted.
As I say, I'm off overseas for a week in a few days and my eating habits will be at the mercy of travel arrangements, hotels, conference organisers and the like - so I'll make do with what I get and when I get it. But once I return I have to tackle this problem head-on or I'll be back where I started. I'm thinking I may make an appointment with the hynotherapist I cancelled a few weeks ago - anyone got any experience of hynotherapy? Does it work? Can I be hypnotised to hate chocolate for the rest of my life? Will it help me gain* control of what food goes into my mouth?
*I was going to write 're-gain' - but I'm not sure I ever had any control to start with! I wonder why..... what happened in my childhood that made me this way? If I get control of eating, will I start to crave something else - will I become an alcoholic or smoker instead? .......or perhaps a sex-maniac - now that would be something!!!!!!
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I was hypnotised to help with weightloss, it didn't really help to be honest. I had a cd to listen to every day which I didn't do after the first few days so possibly down to me.
ReplyDeleteReally hope that the group helps you, you've come so far and done so well, yours was the first blog I read (sorry, probably said this before!) and you really inspired me.
Maybe this is just a blip?
Theresa - don't wait until you're back from the states to take care of yourself. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonynous has meetings in Washington DC, too. Call today or get their meetings at foodaddicts.org
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone Trees, I am just the same... I have super tight restriction now to curb it - and that is the only way I am still losing (v.slowly).... I just hit the ice-cream hard though - and weridly before the band I never really liked it much.... so thats just my stupid head finding a way to cheat.... Nearly 2 years post band and I don't think I have changed one bit - just have the pain to keep me in check! Well done for being so honest with yourself and us - 1st step! - Forgive yourself and start again.... hope the group helps - I look forward to hearing all about it. Love Kegs x
ReplyDeleteFood is definately so much more than for hunger. I was feeling really down on Monday and I started to get tearful because I had nowhere to go with it. I just had to feel it! I would normally have eaten chocolate or drank a few glasses of red wine to 'cheer myself up'; lift my mood; mask my emotions!
ReplyDeleteI tried some hypnotherapy a couple of years ago. I went for help with stress (which was actually one of the main causes of most of my weight gain) and I found that it did really help. I even started to lose weight afterwards because it addressed some of my issues that were making me overeat. It isn't instantaneous though, they usually space the sessions apart to allow time for things to sink in. I had only two sessions and I practiced the techniques and found them good. I'll admit though I did feel silly during the sessions because we have a mental image of hypnotism as some kind of stage show, but I do believe in the power of subconscious thought so I persevered.
Paradoxically though, I bought the Paul McKenna 'I can make you thin' discs and didn't get much out of them, I don't think they really address my issues and didn't resonate for me.
I'm planning to go back for some more hynotherapy sessions myself if I find myself struggling. xx
Hi Theresa,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I do have loads of empathy for you during your current struggles with food. I have read your blog for some time and have always admired your ability to go for such strenuous and long walks and how you have shared your life with a lot of people over the past months. However, I'm pleased to see that you are not superhuman and appear to be going through a very difficult time with weight/eating.This I feel is normal.
I too love chocolate, and biscuits and cakes and as we know, there is little restriction by our bands. Tight bands restrict healthy foods so we are hungry and lacking in nutrients when we just eat rubbish and that makes us feel rubbish too!
I have been just like you. My own way of dealing with this is to find nutritious food that will go down. For me (and this may not be for you) cream crackers with low fat spread and low fat cheddar are satisfying to eat/chew and go down ok much like crisps would, but after 3-4 I am satisfied. I can't enjoy a curry and rice anymore but find that mushroom risotto goes down quite well and this again is satisfying and I like it. I can eat an apple slowly and this fills me up a lot.
When you ate that chocolate fix were you on your own? Where was your partner at the time? If he had been with you would you have eaten all that in front of him?
Personally, I don't think hypnotherapy works in the long term, it might do for a short time though.
I think the answer is to know yourself, accept your weaknesses, eat rubbish if you have to, but move on afterwards. One rubbish day is only one out of 7 during your week and I bet you wouldn't want to eat like that all week as you would feel uncomfortable.
I expect to have a few good days and a few rubbish days over the week and my weight has gone down a little or stayed the same over the last 4 weeks. I am 5 pounds off target weight now. Absolutely not saying it is easy, but there isn't a perfect diet or pill or band or op around and I think that we have the best solution around now and we have to work with it the best we can to achieve our weight loss. I just want to have a normal BMI and want to live my life without the restrictions that being overweight puts on me.
Keep going Theresa, you are almost at your goal weight and have done remarkably well. You are not gaining so just accept good and bad days and don't expect perfection. Why would anyone want to give up chocolate for ever??!! anyway.
Best Regards
Jill
I too am two years on and thank goodness reading these comments make me feel human. I thought I was the only one who could not find any healthy food to go through my band! I have even booked an appointment with my doctor at the hospital to consider having this band out! I'm sure I'm doing myself more harm than good at the moment and I'm sick of being Sick!!!
ReplyDeleteNikki
Please be careful if you proceed with Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous as I have heard there is a cultish element to their practices.
ReplyDeleteHi, i am new to your blog and have to say am finding it very insightfull. I am on day seven of my gastric band and to be honest hadn't really thought past this initial phase into what would happen once i had my initial band adjustment.
ReplyDeleteI am also a serious comfort eater and can tell you before i had my band i did two bouts of hynotherpahy (one to try and make me hate chocolate and one to try and make me eat healthier). I also had the gastric band hypnotherapy and as i had the actual band it is fair to say none of them worked!
The one to make me hate chocolate was supposed to make me like fruit more - all tha happened was i ended up eating a punnet of peaches with a boost bar for good measure. The other one did help me eat smaller portions and more healthy food for about a minute and a half and then that fizzled out. The same happened with the gastric hynotherapy :(
Maybe i am niave, and it is because i have only just had the band and so it is easy to be positive but i think getting back into a routine is helpful. I am hoping not to deviate from the routine they give me, truth be told before i read your blog i was under the impression it was going to be impossible for me to deviate.
You have got so far already, i am sure you will get back on track and it seems you have some great online people to help you out!
Thanks for great information you write it very clean. I am very lucky to get this tips from you
ReplyDeleteGastric Band Surgery