Tummy bug or band problem?

Since yesterday afternoon I have not been feeling that well - I have a tight band (excuse the pun) around the middle of my tummy feeling a little like cramp. I also feel a little nauseous, tired and generally feeble - oh, and my appetite (such as it was) has gone completely and I'm struggling to consume anything. Even though I managed a 6000 step walk yesterday early afternoon, today I've not even been able to manage getting out at all. I came up with several theories as to what the problem might be:

1. Trapped wind: Not likely since I have been belching and er, the other, for England!
2. Over-eating or eating too fast: Hardly likely, I only managed 500 calories yesterday - and that was just soup sipped slowly.
3. Some other band-related problem (eg slippage): Again hardly likely since I've only 'eaten' soup and other fluids so far.
4. Tummy bug: Well, colleagues at work have been dropping like flies this week as there is a tummy bug doing the rounds. Having considered all the possibilities, this is the one I think most likely.

Having said all of that, I have improved a little in the last hour or so and got some of my appetite back. I nibbled away at a tiny mashed potato and some runny scrambled egg and actually, that made me feel a little better.

I guess us bandits have to deal with these problems every so often. The key, I suppose, will be to always stick to 'the rules' no matter what is going on with our bodies! Good luck out there.

Two-week post-op review

I had my two-week review this morning at HW in Manchester. Everything seemed to go OK and the nurse is pleased with how my surgery wounds are healing. I've had a lot of soreness associated with the adhesive dressings that covered the wounds and the nurse suggested I try Bio Oil or Arnica. I got some of the former on the way home, and although its very expensive, it is very soothing. I asked about when I could go swimming - and the answer is, basically, as soon as the larger of my wounds is healed (probably just a few days) - this one is still not quite knit together at one point in the middle. I used to do a lot of swimming so am looking forward to being able go again - it will relieve the boredom of walking the streets accumulating 'steps' on my pedometer! Having said that, I went for a walk with hubby today and managed almost 6000 - the highest post-surgery number so far.

The best news, however, was that I can now start to experiment with slightly thicker fluids - thicker soups, runny scrambled egg and creamy mashed potatoes. I am not officially on pureed foods yet for another week but the idea is to smooth the transition from fluids to purees over this coming week. I guess the first step I will make will be to stop sieving (after two weeks of sieving just about everything I cannot wait!) - I've even been sieving Actimel to get the tiny orange bits out! Well, no more of that!

Some suggestions I have for food over the next week are:
Thicker soup, or soup with soft bits in (eg soft beans or vegetables)
Runny scrambled egg (though not too much or it will counteract the Lactasol!!!)
Creamy mashed potatoes (with Philadelphia Light mixed in for added flavour)
Soft, runny porridge
Pureed soft vegetables (eg broccoli, cauliflower, courgette, butternut squash)

Ooohh I'm making myself hungry - time to make some more homemade soup...!

What to say when asked?

Twice this week I've had to deal with colleagues at work who have asked me straight out, what I had 'done' when I was in hospital having 'minor surgery' last week. I had to tell my line manager and a couple of colleagues that I was going for surgery two weeks ago, but didn't tell anyone what it was all about. I decided a while ago not to tell anyone about my decision to have gastric band surgery except my husband. But I didn't expect colleagues to be quite so nosey!! In the event, I just told both of them that I didn't want to say what it was all about 'at this stage'.

I've been thinking about this issue a lot recently. When I'm not with my husband I feel a bit isolated and alone with my 'secret'. I think I'd like it if there was just one person in my family and one person at work who knew the truth. I'm going to give this some more thought over the weekend and make a decision.

Another related thing that I have struggled with this week, is that lots of colleagues have shown great concern over my health - they know I've had surgery and are genuinely concerned - they probably think I have some 'serious' disease or something. I'm a little anxious about what they might think if they ever found out what I had done - they may think that gastric band surgery is in some way self inflicted, cosmetic surgery etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I emphatically do NOT believe it is cosmetic. In fact, I regard my band as being a preventative measure against some potentially life-threatening diseases (heart disease, strokes, cancer, mobility problems etc). But having read loads of people in the media calling Fern Britton a 'cheat', you just never know what people's reaction is going to be and what misconceptions they have about the band.

I guess that since I'm not planning on telling them (only one, perhaps), I'll just have to deal with this at the time if it ever happens! If people ask me how I have lost weight, I will tell a half truth - I'll say "I'm exercising and eating less" - that would be entirely truthful - it will just leave out one important detail! Having said that, my provider says that while the band does 30% of the work - I will have to do the other 70%.

Time to put on my thinking cap......

Plodding along....

Plodding along is what I feel I am doing at present. Plodding along slowly until the next big milestone (pureed foods in 9 days time).

For those who read my post yesterday, I am, obviously, still alive after my Weight To Go chick pea dahl experiment. Actually, it turned out to be a spicy vegetable dahl with peas rather than chick peas - but hey, food is food! I emptied the whole pack into the blender, together with loads of vegetable stock. It made up two quite large portions of soup, one of which I had last night. It's very nice, but I warn you, it really is quite spicy. I'm looking forward to the day when I'll be able to eat it as it stands rather than liquidising it.

I had a nice 35 minute walk this morning (about 4000 steps) in a local park. However, when I got back home I found that the 'large' wound was weeping ever so slightly and the steri strips I put on had peeled off. So, I've put some more on - but I hope this wound heals OK and doesn't leave me with a horrible scar. I guess I think, and have done for a number of years, that my body is horrible. I know that the band is a major step to putting this right (particularly in terms of fitness), but I'm a little afraid that losing weight will leave me with a 'tummy apron'. We'll see......

Wounded and weary

I got out of bed at 7.15am after a solid eight hours sleep, but immediately felt really dizzy and light-headed. I wandered around aimlessly for a while, trying unsuccessfully to focus on something without it moving before my eyes, before I decided it really wasn't a good idea to drive 30 miles to work in Manchester - so I went back to bed! I did manage to summon some clear-headedness after nearly three hours more kip and so worked at home today. I'm on a mission to eat more today because I fear lack of calories (still only 600-ish a day) is probably the cause of my morning experience.

Still, it's not all bad - I had my first proper shower for 10 days today and it was fab! I also removed the last of my dressings. The scar over the port site is about 4cm and is tidy, but there's a little bit of it that doesn't seem fully healed. I sent hubby out for some steri-strips and have put three of those over the wound to keep it 'together' so to speak.

I've had an interesting milk, lemon yoghurt and liquidised melon drink (I've called it 'lemelon'!) and this evening I'm going to experiment with that liquidised chick pea dahl....... If I'm still alive tomorrow I'll let you know how it went!

Wobbly wobbly

I suppose that’s how you could describe me at present, but I was really referring to the orange flavoured jelly I have setting in the fridge! I’m becoming more and more inventive about what I eat (I’m planning to liquidise a Weight-To-Go chick pea dahl tomorrow!). Having said that, I read a posting on the GB Forum from a lady who liquidised an entire roast dinner (including Yorkshire puds!) – I’m not sure if I’ll go that far! But back to the jelly. I don’t quite know how this works, because the last time I ate jelly it was solid, rather than liquid. However, my nurse told me I could eat jelly if I got bored with the other liquid stuff on offer. So I will. I imagine it counts as liquid because that’s what it becomes before you swallow it…?

Dressings (4) off!

I spoke to my nurse today and she told me I could take my dressings off! At last. I’ve had so much skin soreness and itching with the damned things – I didn’t take telling twice. I removed the outer adhesive dressings, then soaked the suture dressings underneath until they were ready to peel off. I decided to leave the ‘big one’ (the one that covers the port area) for now because although it’s dry, this one looks a lot larger and scabbier (and OK, yes, I’m scared!!)! However, the other four are off now and I feel a sense of freedom! I also have quite a lot of soreness – not on the wounds, which all look very neat, but around them – where the adhesive has been; very red and sore. The wounds, though, look as though they will heal very well, leaving very little scarring.

I’ll take the last one off tomorrow and that will be another milestone passed. The next milestone will be this Saturday when I can stop wearing the anti-embolism stockings! Then a week later I’ll be off fluids and onto mush (sorry, puree).......

New recipe: Fish soup!

Today was my first day back at work post-surgery. It went OK though I felt a bit tired and lost my eating 'rhythm' with the pressure of catching up on work stuff. The result was that even though I started work at 7am, by 5pm I had still only consumed about 300 calories, and not surprisingly, was feeling a bit light headed. I had some already-made homemade soup as soon as I got home but was hungry for more a couple of hours later. I found myself having a sudden craving for cod in parsley sauce! So, I tried a new soup:

One boil-in-the-bag cod in parsley sauce (105 calories)
100ml soya milk (40 calories)
200 ml vegetable stock (10 calories)
One small potato (75 calories)

Boil the potato and boil-in-the-bag cod in the same saucepan (no reason, only it saves on washing up!). Put the cooked potato, cod and sauce, stock and milk in the liquidiser and blend. Sieve into a jug and pour! This makes about 600ml of soup which is two decent portions, with a total calorific value of 230 (or 115 each serving). Lovely!

Eight days post-op: Progress

Eight days on from surgery, I seemed to have reached a turning point. I haven’t had a any painkillers for nearly 48 hours now and am no longer feeling bloated or light headed. I still get twinges from the left side of my stomach (near the port site) - feeling much like a persistent stitch, especially when I lean over or bend down to the left. I am sleeping well and am back on my own side of the bed! I’ve been walking 3-5000 steps each day and not finding that too much trouble if I take it gently. I’m not belching half as much now as I was and the Lactolose and prune juice seem to have done the trick (I'll say no more!).

I am still struggling to consume significantly more than 600 calories a day though – something my husband has started nagging me about. A typical day’s food intake is:
Breakfast: Orange juice (smooth), Actimel (sieved), tea (black and sugarless – how I like it). Total = 165 cals.
Lunch: Homemade soup, tea and half a strawberry shake. Total = 150 cals.
Late afternoon: More soup (sometimes homemade, sometimes Weight Watchers), tea or sugar-free Ribena. Total = 90 cals.
Evening: Half a strawberry shake, more sugarless drinks (eg tea, Ribena or Diet Coke), a yoghurt (thinned with milk) or custard with strawberry puree. Total = 220 cals.

Total = 625 cals.

Even as I write this, it is 3.20pm and I have consumed a total of 245 calories thus far – and I am not hungry. I cannot work out why since supposedly there is no restriction from my band at the moment. On the down side, I am a little less energetic than usual (though not that much really). Also, I maybe not getting the nutrition I need (though I’m taking chewable multivitamins) and may be losing weight too fast (is this a problem?). On the up side, I don’t have hunger to contend with (yet) and am losing weight – 17 stone 12 lbs at this morning’s weigh-in!

Good luck out there.

My ‘Food Story’ - Part 5: So why get banded?

All my overweight life, I always believed, somewhere in the back of my mind, that one day, just one day, I would lose all this excess weight and be slim and fit. I’d be able to walk into any high street shop and buy ‘normal’ clothes. I’d not have any difficulties buying specialist clothing such as waterproofs, salopettes (!), motorcycle leathers and walking gear. I’d be fit, able to walk up hills as fast as my husband, 25 years my senior. And I’d feel good, look good, be accepted, not be whispered about and laughed at. I didn’t have a plan as to how or when this was going to happen. I guess I just believed that one day I would summon up the willpower to be able to do it all by myself.

When I reached my fortieth birthday, I realised that I was firmly in the middle-aged phase of life. I also realised that my weight was now not just a temporary ‘blip’ but a permanent state that was going to rapidly shorten my lifespan, and almost certainly bring with it a whole host of medical problems. Not least of those medical problems were those of a psychological nature - a complete lack of self-esteem and self-confidence and recurring cycles of depression. During these last four years, I slowly but surely came to accept that under my own steam, relying on sheer willpower alone, I was never going to be that slim person I’d so dreamed of. I recalled seeing a lady on TV a few years before speaking of how she’d had gastric surgery. I couldn’t remember whether she’d had a band or a bypass – and at the time I didn’t know the difference, but I do remember thinking how desperate she must have been to put herself through that. I’d also heard various snippets of information about people having their stomach ‘stapled’ and a couple of months ago decided, very privately, to find some information about it on the Internet.

I found out fairly quickly about the different types of gastric surgery available and that the band was almost certainly the best and most appropriate option for me. I also discovered that while there are lots of cosmetic surgery companies out there offering gastric banding, Healthier Weight has as one its guiding beliefs, that gastric band surgery is emphatically not cosmetic surgery. This certainly fits with my own views on the matter. I gathered all the information I needed, including costs, and broached the subject with my husband. He says now that he was a bit shocked at first (so was I!), but he knows that I don’t go into anything light-heartedly. I’m an ‘all or nothing’ sort of person and he trusted that I’d looked into all the possibilities, all the probable outcomes and risks and allowed me to make my own decision – with no pressure, only support.

I think that once I’d got used to the idea for a few days, my brain just came to accept that that was what I was going to do. I did get a small attack of nerves just a few days before the pre-op diet began, and questioned whether this was the right thing to do –but truthfully, my main concern was whether or not I’d ever be able to do ‘normal’ things again – like go out for a meal with my family. I thought a lot about that and decided that even if I couldn’t, the alternative just wasn’t worth thinking about. I’ve since decided that I could do that anyway (soup for starter, starter for main course, ice cream for dessert!), although not too frequently.

So, the decision was made. And here I am, 8 days post-op, feeling very positive and bright about the future. I know it’s not going to be a ‘picnic’ (not the best metaphor!) and there will be tough times ahead. But all I have to do during those times is think of what I was like, what I would have been like, and where my future was heading.

My ‘Food Story’ - Part 4

….but it was not to be. I started the job that I now still have: In the first two years I worked 65-70 hours a week, not including the two hour daily commute to Manchester. This was a terrible period of time for me and endurable pressure became unbearable stress. I made a decision after that to reduce my working hours and say ‘no’ a little more often. I did this, not so much to help with my weight problem, but to reduce stress, which was rapidly becoming a bigger issue for me, impacting on my mental state, depression, relationships and self-esteem. This was not helped by the fact that in 2003, at the age of 39, and for the first time in my life, I reached 19 and-a-half stone, giving me a BMI of 42. I went on another low fat diet and got down to about 18 stone but then my heavy workload and associated stress got the better of me and I didn’t progress any further downwards.

I have fluctuated down and up again from this point over the past five years but 19 stone 7 lbs remains the heaviest I have ever been. I have reached that weight several times but there has been a determination about me not to exceed the capacity of my bathroom scales (20 stone) that has always stopped me going any further upwards! But I always feared that one day I would, and then there will be no turning back.

I was fortunate in 2004 to be able to take part in an organised 4-week walking trip to Norway and during this time lost over a stone. That was the last time I weighed as little as 17 stone. There was a particular disappointment associated with this, however; several years ago (about 1995, I think), I purchased some new salopettes during one of our annual skiing holidays. I only wore them twice and they never fit me again after that. Instead, I had to wear an awful pair of motorcycle over-trousers which are uncomfortable, make me sweat, are inflexible, look ridiculous and I HATE them!!!! When I got down to 17 stone in 2004 I anticipated the pleasure I would gain from being able to wear the salopettes again, at last, but alas – they still wouldn’t fit! I am hoping (perhaps it is just wishful thinking) that having been banded, I just might be able to wear them for my 2009 ski holiday - watch this space!

My 'Food Story' - Part 3

To pick up where I left off, what went wrong was my ankle. Out on a long run, with about 8 miles under me belt and another 4 to go, without warning, I got a sudden very intense pain in my right ankle and had to stop. In fact, I was unable to put any weight on the ankle at all and literally had to hop on one leg to a phone box to call hubby and ask him to come and collect me (in the days before mobiles!). To cut a long story short, I'd damaged the ligament in my ankle quite badly – through general over-use - and had to rest it from running for at least six months.

During that six months I continued to swim several times a week but gave up the cycling – I was never that keen on it anyway. I also continued to consume the same amount of food I had when I was running 45 miles per week....... Very quickly the pounds piled on and by the time I was in a position to try out my rested ankle again I was a full stone-and-a-half heavier. Now, excessive weight and running and bad ankles do not mix.... There began a vicious circle in which I tried to keep up the running but had to keep stopping for periods of weeks at a time to rest my ankle; when I rested I put weight on; when I ran again I was heavier - which put more pressure on my ankle..... In the end I stopped running all together and the inevitable ballooning began. So, 10 stone 4 lbs at age 24 gradually became 16 stone at age 31. Almost a stone a year – it shocked me a little when I calculated this just now as I hadn't realised before that a huge chunk of my weight gain was just as concentrated in time as this.

What else happened during this period to have led to so much weight gain? I suppose I got into bad habits. I'd boast how I could go from being asleep one minute to being fully washed and dressed in my car ready to leave for work just 20 minutes later! The problem was, I was skipping breakfast. During a two year spell in local government, we were treated to a 'morning trolley' – a lady would bring a trolley round about 10.30am each day (just as I getting peckish from my lack of breakfast), laden with all sorts of chocolatey goodies. None of the thin people seemed to resist – so why should I? I also took up a distance learning course during this period which meant studying in the evenings when I got home from work. Hence, no time for activities, less time for healthy cooking and eating, and more excuse for snacking-while-you-work.

From the age of 30-33 my weight steadied at around 16 stone. I think this was around the time that I first started to get depressed about my weight. I remember being incredibly upset about an off-the-cuff remark from a colleague referring to my weight. My bosses also picked me up during an annual appraisal for my poor dress code – it wasn't that I didn't want, or didn't know how to dress better, just that my weight was severely limiting my choice. I recall the embarrassment of first having to use Evans as my clothes shop. Even now, as I walk through the doors of Evans, a voice in my head seems to cry “Everyone's looking at you and saying look how fat she is – she has to buy her clothes there...”.

I gained another two stones over the next six years while I studied part-time for a PhD at Leeds. Living in Liverpool, this meant a daily commute of 140 miles, every day for six years. Yes I know, mad. I look back over those years and I really don't know how I did it. I do know that many of my meals were takeaways, grabbed during the course of a journey to or from work. I know that cooking at home was always a hasty affair, relying on ready meals, pizzas and other such junk. I also know that during the day I often survived on bars of chocolate, pies, anything that could be grabbed and eaten quickly to fit in with my hectic lifestyle. I also know that in terms of exercise, I did very little, I spent nearly four hours a day in my car and the rest either sleeping or working.

Perhaps the end of my PhD studies in 2000 would signal a new start, a new me?

My 'Food Story' - Part 2

I left home to study for a degree when I was 19. During my three degree years I kept fairly active, taking part in basketball, volleyball and potholing on a regular basis. Although I needed to spend a lot of time studying, there was always a bit of free time for sports. Luckily for me, I never got into the whole alcohol thing so didn't abuse my body through that route! Success at degree level led to me going on to take up postgraduate study - and this is where things started to go downhill as far as my weight and fitness was concerned. I literally did nothing for two whole years but study – and most of this, as you would expect – sitting down on my backside. Even had I not been so dedicated to my academic cause, there were few opportunities for activity anyway because I was studying away from home and commuting to University each day. Apart from consuming valuable hours of the day, this is also meant I did not develop such close bonds with my fellow students and lost out on the socialising and other activities. Having kept my weight to around 11.5 stone through most of my degree years, it had now crept up to 13 stone.

However, probably the best period of my life was about to arrive.....

Armed with a Master's degree, I got a great job in Manchester, passed my driving test and was able to commute to work much more rapidly than I'd been able to commute to University. For a few months, all was rosy. I was doing a 9 to 5 job and had LOADS of time to spare in the evenings – time I hadn't had for years because of the studying. But after a few months of this luxury I got bored and began looking for a hobby to fill my time. A colleague at work suggested I take up jogging.

Mmmm, I hadn't done any of that sort of thing since being at school – I was not sure my body could hack it. But she kept going out for her gentle jogs along the canal side during lunch breaks and my curiosity got the better of me. Before long, we had both entered the Liverpool Tesco Women's 10km Run and were into heavy training. We were both aiming to do it an hour. After about 4 months of training, the race came, she took 64mins, I did it in 55. The bug had bitten – I was an addicted runner, clocking up 40-45 miles per week.

I won't bore you with the details, but over the next few months I entered the London Marathon, took up swimming with a vengeance, and even started cycling. Within a year I was doing full-length triathlons (1500m swim, 40km cycle, 10km run), biathlons and loads of road races – and lovin' it. And you know the best part? I was eating like a horse (really) and LOSING weight. Without any effort on my part, no diets, no calorie counting – I was down to 10 stone 4 lbs.

So what went wrong?

My 'Food Story' - Part 1

It's been a couple of weeks now since I started this Blog and I thought it was about time I provided some background on how I got to the point in life where I needed to become a Bandit. I'll tell the story in chronological order and split it into a few sections for easier reading.I grew up in East London, the second of four children. I am the only one of the four who became obese, and neither of my parents is/was obese. My Dad, even at 77 is, and always has been, a big eater and consumes huge meals, as well as lots of between-meal snacks. However, he has never weighed more than 12 stone! He had a very active job but he's been retired for ages now and still hasn't put on any weight! My Mum, no longer with us, was always on a diet of some sort (just to lose a few pounds usually), but never weighed more than 10 stone and was more typically 9 to 9 and-a-half stone (5ft 6ins).

I was aware of being a little overweight from an early age but this was always put down to 'puppy fat' – apparently I'd 'grow out of it'. I was extremely active as a child, and swam, danced and did gymnastics several evenings a week. I was also very involved in school sports and took up cross country running when I was about 12. Despite that, I always remained a little heavy for my age and height – and I really do mean 'a little heavy' – this is not a euphemism for fat!

I think I weighed about 10 stone when was in my mid teens and this increased to about 12 stone towards the end of my teens. I recall going on a diet for the first time in advance of my 18^th birthday – there was a dress I'd worn a few years before that I was desperate to wear at my party. I think around this time I went to Weight Watchers with my Mum – a horrid experience. I was surrounded by lots of very overweight, middle-aged women (funnily enough – that's a good description of me now!) doing lots of oooing and aaaahing as people got themselves weighed in front of everyone! Soooo embarrassing. I also recall being quite sensitive about my weight, even though at this time I was 'only' about 12 stone. My Dad used to make jokes about it and made a sarcastic comment every time he spotted me putting anything in my mouth. I guess this is, in part, what led to me becoming very private about something that was, in fact, so blindingly obvious to everyone.

I can't really work out why me, of all the people in our family, took up eating as a hobby? Certainly there was always a love of food in the family, and food was usually central attraction for family gatherings, birthdays and other celebrations. My Mum used to be paranoid about anybody going hungry so would always prepare far more food than was needed – a habit I developed and still manifest today. I wonder whether Mum's attitude to food is related to her own childhood experiences – she was a war baby and evacuated to a convent during the war where food was scarce. I remember her telling stories of how her and other kids got beaten at the convent for eating too much or taking the biggest slice of cake etc. Maybe she rebelled against this by over-providing later on in life. But how came no-one else in the family over-consumed – only me?

Getting plastered

The five wounds I have are all getting itchy, so I decided to take off the dressings today and have a look. The two on the outside are small, neat 1cm cuts. The one in the middle and the one at the top are both also small but appear to have oozed a little - but not recently. The larger one to the left of middle (the port entry) looks about 3-4cm long and a little messy, though again, it does not look to have leaked in the last couple of days at least.

Having a very sensitive skin, there was a lot of redness around the edges of most of the dressings. The itchiness was eased with a gentle wash. I replaced all of the dressings with new, smaller ones so that less of my tummy area is plastered! I have been told that the sutures can come off in about 7-10 days but knowing how long I take to heal it may be a little longer.

I've stopped taking the co-codamol today because the codeine can cause constipation. I have felt some more pain but it's not too bad. I'll try to get some soluble Paracetamol to keep in reserve.

Spending money and shedding pounds

I weighed in at 18 stone 2 lbs this morning - more than a stone less than when I started the pre-op diet! I expected to lose more weight in the first week or so - this is normal for most people on diets - but the weight loss is nevertheless very encouraging. I've also been shedding lots of pounds of the monetary sort - I spent over £70 on stuff from Weight To Go (the food 'arm' of Healthier Weight):

I bought a pedometer, because once I am fighting fit again I plan on working up to walking 10,000 steps a day. I am not yet sure where I'm going to find the time to do all this walking - but I guess I'll just have to make it a higher priority than all the other 'important' and 'urgent' things in my life!

I also bought some more strawberry shakes. I find these very filling and they will be a welcome drink once I start getting hungry again. I experimented with a new way to make them today - without using the blender. I just added a mixture of milk and water and stirred with a fork until I achieved the right consistency (1 packet made about 400ml). The blender is fine (and quicker, though more washing up!), but it tends to make the shake very bubbly. My stomach has been making enough bubbles of its own in the past few days so I thought I'd try putting less in!

I also bought some packets of the pre-prepared meals and soup. I won't be able to eat any of these until I get to the puree phase, but they look very nice!

I went for a 40 minute walk this morning - and it was probably too much - I was getting quite tired by the end. It was at a slow pace, over a distance I would normally have covered in much less time, but still, it was nice to get some fresh air - before the Arctic weather blows in at the weekend.

Bodily functions...

I've told you about what I've been eating but didn't say what my body is doing (or not doing) on day four since my op. Well, I feel less bloated today which is good because it also means I feel a little more energetic. I still have to be careful though because every so often I come over very lightheaded and 'wobbly'. Also today, although the general tummy pain has subsided, I have new, more intense pain around the port site. This is only mild most of the time but gives me a bit of a 'kick' from time to time. I went with hubby to Tesco (my big day out!) this afternoon and had to stop walking at one point when I got a sudden sharp pain. One of the nurses did say that the pain often gets worse before it gets better so I'm putting it down to that. The only way now, is up.

Oh, and what's my body not doing? Well, I don't want to go into all the gory details, so let's just say I also bought some Lactalose and prune juice.....

If you've had the op and can remember what day four was like for you - post a comment - it would be great to hear from you.

Food - nice things!

Hi all. Things are going quite well today. I slept for about 12 hours last night (in between kicking the cats out of the bedroom!) and sweated like a pig! I had orange juice and sieved Actimel for breakfast and mid-morning tea. At lunch time I tried some of my pumpkin soup - it's lovely! Since then, I've been feeling less bloated than yesterday so am making the most of it! I've had half a glass of low-sugar Ribena and some low fat hot chocolate drink made up with half water, half milk (also lovely). I managed to find some children's chewable multivitamin/mineral in Tesco today - these have a lot more 'stuff' in them than the soluble adult's version. I'll have some more soup later, and then I'm going to treat myself - if I don't feel too bloated by then - with custard! This will work well with my diet plan which says I have to consume quite a lot of milk. If I 'eat' everything I'm planning to, I will reach about 650 calories today.

I checked with my nurse before I left the hospital, roughly how many calories I should be consuming per day and she said 1000-1200. The diet plan I've been given is also just a guide so I am dong my best to make this three-week fluids only phase as interesting as possible. I've got loads of different soups - most of them are very 'smooth' but if in doubt I will put them through the sieve before I eat. I've also got all sorts of sugar-free and low-fat drinks - including the hot chocolate I bought today to introduce as much variety and 'niceness' into my diet as I can.

Post a comment to let us know what 'nice' things you have been eating......

Struggling to consume drinks

I think I spoke too soon in my previous post! Since about midday I have felt very bloated again and really struggling to consume anything. It's now 8.30pm and I've still only managed about 400 calories! I've had waves of tiredness too and have fallen asleep in the chair twice. I did go out for a very gentle stroll for about 30 minutes and this also made me very tired - I was struggling to get home by the end! I'm beginning to wonder whether, at this rate, I'll be OK to go back to work next Monday. I have a really hectic job! I guess I'll just have to pace myself and not expect too much.

I made some more soup earlier - this time its made of one potato, a chunk of pumpkin, red onion and vegetable stock, I boiled it all together, then liquidised it a little, then sieved it to remove lumps. It's made up about 1 litre, which at current progress, will probably last a week! I haven't really had any yet, only tasted it - I'll look forward to it tomorrow.

Less bloated today

It's early afternoon and I've already managed 245 calories! An achievement! I am feeling less bloated today and have a little more energy. Also, I feel less tired and lightheaded. This might be partly down to the fact that I had a really good sleep last night. I slept on my right side and this was quite comfortable. I had a good wash when I got up (I cannot shower for 10 days because of the sutures!) and also got hubby to wash my hair for the first time in three days.

I've had half a glass of fresh orange juice, an Actimel (with the orange bits sieved out) and some more broccoli and potato soup (see recipe post). I've also had a couple of sugar-free Polos and some black tea. I will be going for a short walk soon while the weather is still OK. Looked on the gastricband.co.uk web site this morning and there are others who had a band fitted on the same day as me!!


The bariatric nurse from Healthier Weight phoned this morning to see how I was doing. It's nice to know they will keep a close eye on me - especially during the next eight weeks of pre-fill...

Recipe: Broccoli and potato soup

Just finished some very filling homemade soup. I boiled a very small head of broccoli and two medium-small Desiree potatoes. I added a vegetable Oxo cube to the water. Once nice and soft I drained off the veg into a blender and added 35g of Philadelphia cream cheese, some salt, a bit of Marmite (you love it or hate it - I love it!) and lots of the boiling water. I adjusted it a bit for salt, liquid etc and added some more powdered vegetable gravy. This made up a total of 750ml of soup with a total calorific value of about 265. I could only manage about one third of it just now but am hoping to find room for a little more later on!

Recovering at home: Day 3

Today, my tummy feels a bit ‘tight’, as though I’d overdone the sit-ups at the gym - I wouldn’t really describe it as ‘pain’ though. The worst thing is bending down, particularly to the left side (where the port is), or sitting up from a lying down position. I got up about 9.30am this morning. I would have slept longer but I’ve had these anti-embolism stockings on for two days now and they needed washing. Hubby washed them for me before he went out for the morning so that meant I had to get up and keep moving around while they were drying on the radiator!

I keep reading on other web sites and in the literature that I have, how lots of people have difficulty belching when they get a band. Not me – I’ve been belching for England! Every time something goes into my mouth, rest assured, about two minutes later, burp!

I still feel bloated and am struggling to get much drink in. I’ll probably consume about 600 calories in total today. I’m not hungry. Tonight I’m going to see if I can blend cooked broccoli and potatoes into a thin enough consistency (if I can drink it through a straw it’s thin enough) to drink as I need some more savoury drinks and something with a bit more oomph in it!

I spent a couple of hours watching TV this morning and dozing off in the chair but otherwise have tried to be a bit more active today. We went for a gentle stroll around the block this afternoon for about 20 minutes which blew some cobwebs away. As you may have deduced, I have also spent quite a bit of time today updating my Blog. I truly hope this is helping people out there to come to a decision, or perhaps it is reassuring? I don’t know. But I do think keeping, what is essentially a diary, is helping me. I know that on good days I’ll be looking back at my Blog and reminding myself of the less good days that have passed and what progress I’ve made.

I’m getting thirsty and am overdue some pain relief. I’ll post again to let you know how my ‘broccoli and potato surprise’ goes…..

Recovering at home: Day 2

I’m back at home now and slowly trying to adjust to the new ‘me’. Yesterday I felt very bloated and unable to consume enough volume of liquid to provide sufficient calories for energy. Consequently, I felt quite tired and drowsy. I only managed to consume about 365 calories in total. According to the literature I have, this ‘bloated’ feeling can last a few days. I’ve been drinking shakes, ‘yoothies’ (liquidised yoghurt, berries and ice), orange juice, Weight Watchers soup and tea.

I spent most of the day sitting in a chair and occasionally getting up to prepare drinks in the kitchen. I felt very light-headed all day and my temperature was all over the place. Although the thermometer told me my temperature was normal and stable, one minute I was burning hot and the next I was shivering with cold! My head and upper chest were very red too (even when I was cold).

I had quite a lot of difficulty trying to get comfortable in bed Sunday night. It took about an hour of moving pillows, sitting up, lying down, moving the bedding again and so on. By the end of it I was in tears, partly through frustration and partly because all of the sitting up and lying down again had made my wounds quite sore. Still, with my husband’s help and patience we got there in the end. Once I’d got comfortable I managed to get a good night’s sleep.

Recovering from surgery: Day 2

Having slept quite well during my first post-operative night, I dragged myself out of bed on Sunday morning and slowly went through the process of washing, and changing into my day clothes. I enjoyed a first post-band cup of tea (drunk very slowly in tiny sips so that much of it was drunk cold) and enjoyed slowly walking around the room. My pain was similar to yesterday – just mild really. However, I did still feel very drowsy and had a hot head and chest.

I had a number of visitors including the bariatric nurse from Healthier Weight. I was able to ask her a number of questions I’d thought of as I’d gone through the reading material yesterday. For example, people report that the fluid phase gives a dry and ‘furry’ mouth – I asked ‘can I chew sugar-free Orbit gum?’ (or similar). The answer was yes – or even sugar-free Polos (as long as I don’t forget and crunch them instead of sucking!). I also saw Dr Ashton and Dr Favretti. They were pleased to see I was doing well and said the operation had gone exactly as planned. Dr Ashton said he looked forward to seeing me getting thinner over the coming months!

My husband came to collect me at about 10am. We had a little wait for the nurse to discharge me and we then had to collect some co-codamol from the pharmacy. Eventually we set off for home - another phase had begun.

Recovering from surgery: Day 1

After initially waking up from the anaesthetic at about 1115h, I then dozed for the next two or three hours. I was not in any real pain, just aware of some soreness around my tummy – which was fine if I didn’t move about too much. I lifted up my pyjama top at one point to inspect the ‘damage’, and there were five separate dressings, four in a line across the middle of my abdomen and one on its own in the middle and above the others. In the main ‘line’ of wounds, it was the one second from the left that was the most sore – this, I presumed, was the ‘port’ entry site. I never experienced any soreness from the one at the top or the two outer wounds.

As well as the dressings I also had a saline drip in my left hand and initially, an oxygen mask. The nurses later replaced this with a tube under my nose with two small protruding tubes that send oxygen up your nostrils. These were fine but they made my mouth and throat very dry. I was encouraged to sip water frequently and did so.

At about 3pm, two nurses came and helped me to get out of my gown and into my own pyjamas. I then sat in the chair watching TV and sipping water for several hours. My bariatric nurse came in the afternoon and left some reading material about the post-operative eating plan. I read what I could but felt very sleepy. Fortunately, being a Saturday night, my favourite programme (The X factor!) was on and kept me occupied. During this time, the nurses popped in every so often to check on me, replenish my co-codamol and do more observations but otherwise this was a peaceful and reflective time.

The best way I can describe the pain I experienced is to compare it with the feeling of stomach cramp that sometimes accompanies severe diarrhoea in a hot country! Alternately, what you might get if you’d been down the gym and seriously overdone the sit-ups!

At 9.30pm I got myself washed, teeth cleaned and ready for bed (X Factor lovers fear not, husband was video-taping the results show!). This was no mean feat considering I had to lug the saline drip hanger around with me and continually untangle the extended oxygen tube from various bits of furniture! I called the nurse to help me get into bed which I knew I wouldn’t be able to manage on my own. The nurse attached some wrap-arounds on my lower legs which were attached to a machine. This inflated the material, applying pressure to my calves to reduce the chances of a DVT (deep vein thrombosis). If you’re having difficulty understanding my explanation, think of these wrap-arounds being like large versions of the thing that is wrapped around your arm when you have your blood pressure taken – these are exactly the same except less pressure is applied. I mention these wrap-arounds because I found them really funny. There I was, lying in bed, and every 25 seconds (I know, I counted), one of my legs would be lifted up by a few centimetres. Then 25 seconds later it would go down and the other one would be inflated up – and so on. As I lay there trying to get to sleep, I had a vision of someone filming my legs during the night and then speeding up the replay and thought it would look like something out of a Monty Python sketch ….. Yeah, OK, perhaps I was still ‘high’ on anaesthetic!!

I drifted off to sleep about midnight. A was woken at about 1am, 4am and again at 5.30am for observations and more co-codamol, but otherwise slept well until about 0830h.

Surgery

0550h: Woken by the alarm. Had my last food and drink at 10pm last night – can’t even have a sip of water this morning.

0630h: We leave home for Alexandra Hospital, Manchester.

0720h: Arrive at reception and book in. Five minutes later a porter comes and takes me to my room (and carries my bag!). He carefully shows me how to operate the TV remote, the nurse call button, the light switches and the bed. As he leaves, I have a sudden panic that I should have given him a tip, but then I remember, this is a hospital, not my holiday hotel room!

0740h: A junior nurse comes and takes my blood pressure, pulse and temperature (something I was to experience on a multitude of occasions during the next 24 hours). She takes me down the corridor to some weighing scales and I clock in at 120kg (18 stone 12 pounds). She leaves me with a gown and anti-embolism stockings to put on.

0750h: Dr Ashton (the Healthier Weight consultant) and Dr Favretti, my surgeon, come and say hello. They tell me I am second on the ‘the list’ and that I will be having surgery at 0930h. ‘Good, I think’ – ‘let’s get this over’. I had been hoping that I wouldn’t have to wait half the day in my room – too much time to think and worry! Dr Favretti examines my tummy area and mutters reassuring things.

0800h: My own senior nurse arrives. She is extremely friendly and reassuring. She asks loads of questions about my medical history and tells me what’s going to happen. She asks me to put the gown and stockings on.

0810h: Before I get that far, a male nurse arrives and says he’s come to ‘take some blood’. My husband told me later how he had to stop himself making a joke about Dracula…… The nurse takes his blood and gives me an injection in the left of my tummy to thin the blood. ‘There’ll just be a little scratch’ he says. It stung quite a bit, but nothing to write home about, I suppose.

0820h: I try the gown and find it has been modelled on a ‘normal’ sized person and doesn’t fit. Neither do the disposable knickers.

0830h: My nurse returns with a urine sample pot and takes away my too-small gown. She brings back a much more suitable sized gown and knickers and I set about explaining the ties at the back to my husband.

0850h: Hubby gets bored waiting and picks up the patients and visitors menu by the side of the TV. Unthinking, he starts a conversation about al the wonderful food items on the menu. He at last notices my dagger-eyed expression and realises his faux-pas!

0900h: The Healthier Weight bariatric nurse comes to see me and asks more questions. She explains a little bit more about what is going to happen.

0915h: A porter arrives to walk me down to theatre and I say goodbye to my husband at the lift. In a waiting area outside theatre, another nurse asks me more questions and takes my blood pressure etc again.

0925h: I am taken into a room immediately outside the theatre and invited to lie down. A consultant anaesthetist inserts a canula (needle) in my hand while the nurse is taking my observations again. He explains that the pre-med will make me feel as though I have had ‘a few drinks’. I wait, and then suddenly, without warning, my whole body feels woozy – right down to my toes. I’ve never drunk enough alcohol to feel like this before! He and the nurse are chatting away to me, talking about all sorts of non-consequential things……..

1115h: I’m awake. It’s over. I’m a bandit.

12 hours to go....

There are only 12 hours left before I have to leave the house for the hospital. I really wish I could speed up time because I want to get it over with as soon as possible and get on with my 'new' life! I have lost a few pounds already on the pre-op diet, but the lack of food has left me feeling a little more tired than usual (or perhaps it’s anxiety?). Having said that, I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight because of the anticipation.

I don’t know yet what time my op is but I will endeavour to post to the blog afterwards as soon as I am able with all the gory details. Thank you so much for taking the trouble to give me good luck messages – that means a lot.

I have to pop out for a couple of hours but when I return I will be tucking into my last ‘proper’ meal. Well, it probably wouldn’t count as a proper meal by many people – I’ll be having a steamed vegetable mix again including pieces of cauliflower, broccoli, courgettes, aubergine and oyster mushrooms (only 13 calories per 100g!!) – all this with loads of black pepper and some soy sauce. The next time I have such a meal it will have been liquefied in the blender!

I’ll sign off now. Next time I blog I’ll be a bandie…….

Impatience setting in

Less than 48 hours to go now and impatience is definitely setting in. I’ve become somewhat irritable (oh OK then, more irritable than usual!) in the last day or so. I’m not sure if this is a slow build-up of anxiety in anticipation of the ‘big event’ or if it’s the physical effect of having cut down my food intake so drastically? I’m finding it difficult to work effectively because my mind is on other things. I’ve lain awake for an hour or two each of the last two nights thinking about the surgery, the aftermath, what if this, what if that, how will I cope with x, y and z!

It’s great to read comments from people like Angie (see comment attached to my first ever posting) who are so reassuring and encouraging - it’s a good way of getting your mind off the immediate future and thinking about longer term goals. If you are experiencing pre-op butterflies like me then hopefully this post will also reassure you that’s it’s not just you – it’s normal!

Planning my hospital visit

At about this time, three days from now, I will have a new friend that I’ve decided to call ‘BandAid’. I’m starting to plan my overnight hospital stay; I’ve got some clean pyjamas ready (!), washed my dressing gown and am thinking about which book to take for reading. It’s an early start, we have to be there at 0720h, but only an hour’s drive. Just heard about Chel, who’s going all the way to Belgium to have her op on Friday – so I guess in that respect I have it easy being only about 30 miles from the hospital. I don't have an exact time for my op yet but I hope it's as early as possible - I just want to get it over with.

I’ve also been thinking ahead a little to the post-operative period and the three weeks of fluids only. I’m not looking forward to that. At all. The pre-op diet is still going OK, but I’m glad I only had to do it during the working week when I am kept very busy. I think I would have struggled if it had been at the weekend when I have more time to think – about food! Talking of which, I'm signing off now to go and microwave myself some more Weight Watchers soup.......

All going smoothly – except the blender?

I’m one third of the way through the five-day pre-op diet and there isn’t much to report yet. I ate about 800 calories yesterday, though I swapped two of the strawberry shakes for some lovely steamed vegetables (courgettes, aubergine, oyster mushrooms, cherry tomatoes and broccoli, with loads of black pepper and soy sauce). Next week I will get some vanilla shakes so I can add my own flavourings to make them more interesting!

Liquidising ice cubes is interesting though – it’d be nice to know if anyone else has found a reliable way to do this without making the blender smell of burning.....!

I’m rapidly getting used to the idea of having a band and am even, psychologically, starting to think I already have one. I’ve noticed a definite ‘lift’ in my spirit and have even found myself whistling along the corridor at work! I suppose I sense that real, lasting change is on its way. Wish me luck!

I’m keeping mum

So far, I’ve only told my husband about the surgery. He came with me to my consultation at Healthier Weight and has been supportive. He has never pushed me into this but respects my decision and will help in whatever way he can (even though I’ll have to remind him sometimes!). At this point in time, I don’t have any plans to tell anybody else about having a gastric band – not my family, nor my work colleagues and friends. Having said that, I’m aware that I may change my mind some time in the future. Why keep it quiet? Well, I suppose it helps me retain an ounce of dignity in not having people openly discussing things that are very private to me. I suspect my family and some of my friends might also try to talk me out of it. I also think there’s a lot of misconception about gastric surgery – people think it is somehow ‘cheating’ (just look at what Fern Britton has had to put up with). From what I have read, the band does 30% of the work and the rest will be down to me – so it’s really about having something give me a helping hand rather than doing it all for me.

If you’ve had gastric banding – did you tell anyone? Did you keep it quiet? Did anybody find out or guess? Post a comment.

Pre-op diet – early progress report

I’m doing OK with my pre-op diet so far – though I haven’t even done a day yet! I’ve had a second shake and two Weight Watchers soups. I’m planning to have some steamed vegetables (I’m a vegetarian anyway so this isn’t too much hardship) and a fruit salad this evening. I’ve been working at home today so it’s all been fairly easy. However, tomorrow I’m back at work and I’ve got to plan out all of my 'food' in advance - which is a bit strange. I’ll have to blend my shakes before I go, and I've had to buy some food storage containers to take them in! I’ll also have to take some soup with me – fortunately we have a microwave available. It's funny that I've always thought that one of my problems is that my mind is always obsessed with food - and here I am, pre-surgery, having to think about it even more!!

I’ve got the shakes….!

My pre-op diet consists of four shakes and two soups per day, plus five portions of fruit and veg. This is all spread out over five ‘meals’ – breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper. I’m fortunate that I’ve been drinking black, sugarless tea and coffee for years so I can drink as much as I like of them without putting any calories into my mouth!

I’ve just had my first ‘shake’ – strawberry flavour. Nice, and very filling, I wasn’t expecting that. It was a bit of a palaver making it – I had to first extricate my antique liquidiser from the back of the cupboard, wash it (not easy when it has some pretty dangerous-looking blades at the bottom, then follow the instructions on how to make my first ‘meal. After adding the powder, ice cubes and water as instructed, I started the liquidiser going and immediately smelt burning! I think this is because you are supposed to set it on low speed until the ice breaks up – but ‘high’ is the only speed my contraption has!

Why keep a blog?

I first started thinking about gastric surgery about four years ago, when I turned 40 and began to get seriously worried about my future. I thought that fifteen years or more of carrying the equivalent of several sacks of potatoes around on my shoulders must be wearing out my heart, lungs, knees, hips – you name it – what kind of a future was I going to have? I’d always believed that one day, one day, I would finally manage to lose the weight (and keep it off) ‘under my own steam’, but reaching 40 years of age led me to doubt, for the first time in my life, that that was ever really going to happen. For several years the idea of surgery remained just an idea, nothing more. I even remember seeing a TV documentary where a woman was talking about having had gastric surgery, and I recall thinking “wow, she must be really desperate to do anything like that – that would never happen to me”…….. or so I thought! A few more failed diet attempts later I began to look into it on the Internet, and found loads of really helpful information. In particular, I gained an enormous amount by reading the forums on http://www.ukgastricband.co.uk and the patient diaries on the BOSPA web site (http://www.bospa.org). Now, only days away from the big day, I decided I would keep a blog in the hope that it will bring some answers, information and reassurance to others out there. Whatever you decide – good luck!

I’d be really grateful if people would add comments to the blog so I know whether this is useful or not?

Day one of the rest of my life

Obama has just been elected and people are talking about there being a sense of a ‘new dawn’, a ‘new era’. It feels the same for me. Today feels like the first day of the rest of my life. My gastric band surgery is fast approaching (15th November 2008) and I have just started my five-day pre-op diet. There’s no turning back now. I weighed in this morning at 19 stone and with a BMI of 41. All the literature on gastric banding suggests I can expect to lose 50-60% of my excess weight which would take me to somewhere between 14 and 15 stone. I’d like to think I can go beyond this, as at that weight I would still be officially ‘obese’ - but on the other hand, I guess 15 stone would be a huge improvement on my current weight.

I’m having the surgery with Healthier Weight in Manchester. I thought about going through the NHS but I heard there are long waiting lists, and not all providers offer this on the NHS anyway. Going private is obviously expensive (£7950 in my case) but I feel I have much more control over what happens, and when.