Friday, April 16, 2010

Sparkling insight

One of the comments on a post a few days ago, generously contributed by Sparkler, demonstrated incredible insight into some aspects of my predicament. I'm going to address them one by one and see where it takes me:

This is a really tough time in the journey...all the newness has worn off, you're nearly there so you're probably pretty comfortable with your weight right now, so the urgency has dropped.

That is SOoooo right. Truth is, if I didn't lose another pound - I'd be a little disappointed but I wouldn't be devastated, because the worst of the weight has gone. I started at 20 stone, I now weigh about 12 and a half. I'd like to be ten and a half - but I'm thin enough that I can walk, jog, swim - and all with relative comfort. I can buy 'normal' clothes in 'normal' shops for the first time in my adult life and so the urgency has gone. Spot on Sparkler. But when I sit down and really think about it - I don't want to settle for this - it is less than I wanted when I started out and I want better. I am not looking for perfection but I do want to be in control of my eating and my weight. No, I wouldn't be devastated if I didn't lose another pound, but I don't think I would look upon my band experience as a complete success either.

Everything about the band is so familiar which means it doesn't take much thinking about.

Yes, you're right again. But this is the problem. I often THINK it doesn't need thinking about because it's so familiar - but actually it does. For example, I thought I'd 'cracked' the think about not drinking after eating - I thought it had become second nature. But in the last few months I have got back into bad habits again. Also, I have had more slime and regurgitation events in the last few months than I've ever had. This is not because my band is too tight - it's because sometimes I just forget it is there and get back to old eating habits (eating too much, too quick, the wrong type of food, eating while distracted etc). I probably need to get out my old 'band manual' and re-read it again from start to finish and keep on reminding myself that I have a little friend inside me - and it's going to be there for life....

I'd be interested to hear what your restriction is like now on an average day. Do you still eat the same small portion sizes or are you able to eat more at a sitting? Do you still have certain foods that are a no-go area? What's it like once it all becomes routine, mundane and everyday?

When I make good food choices I have excellent 'sweet spot' restriction. My meals are small and they fill me up. I can't guzzle a drink down fast like I used to but have to take it in smaller mouthfuls and slowly. I'm much more restricted in the morning and can't really eat much till mid-morning. IF (and it's a big IF) I don't eat chocolate and other 'bad' foods, I exist very happily on about 1200 calories a day and don't feel physically hungry at all. There's no sign of my band getting looser. There are very fews that are a no-go area - mainly chips (French fries), very fatty foods like battered fish (chip-shop style), and the skins of cherry tomatoes and grapes! I avoid white bread but can easily eat whoolemeal bread (though not in large quantity). Many of the things that I used to perceive as big problems or difficulties - just aren't! I can eat out but do so very cautiously. So far I have avoided having any embarrassing incidents while eating out and would like it to remain that way!

Good luck with getting that focus back to fight off that last stubborn stone and a half. Actually having a break from the strict regime probably won't do you any harm as once you get back to your walking and cut out the lovely but lethal chocolate you'll be like a new dieter who has a really rewarding first three weeks or so. A post-Easter resolution perhaps?

You may be right about having a break from the strict regime but I think I need to get back to it soon. Now that work has eased off I am finding time to get back to some exercise - walking, stepping and swimming mainly. I think you are right - I will wait until I am firmly back in the UK after my trip and then set a date to kick-start my band-life.

Many thanks for your insight and encouragement!

13 comments:

  1. Great post...I feel a bit like this with dieting in general as I've spent so much time in Slimming World meetings over the past 5 years I feel I could definately host the group if the consultant was off sick!!!

    It makes it really hard now to knuckle down and make this band do it's work as I feel so diet-jaded.

    I'm going for my second fill on Saturday and have ordered some weight to go meals etc to get some discipline and structure going for a bit. I just hope they're edible!

    I'm hoping the extra restriction will make a big difference. My trouble is I keep wanting to eat even when I'm not hungry...gotta deal with the head!!!

    Enjoy your trip. xx

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  2. Hi Theresa,
    Just a quick note to say a huge thank you for your wonderful blog. I had my band fitted on 19th April in Birmingham and also chose Healthier Weight as my provider. I have read all your blog now and your journey is so encouraging to me. Again, a big thank you and I hope the remaining few punds slide off easily!
    Helen x

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  3. Hi Helen

    I hope everything has gone well for you in your first few weeks. Thanks for your kind words and all the best for your new band-life!

    Trees x

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  4. Hi Theresa,

    I really miss your blog, hope that you're doing well.

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  6. Hello Theresa,

    I have read your entire blog (to this point at least) over the past week. I would firstly like to thank you for for writing it - it was a privilege to read. Reading about your experiences has told me so much that I wanted to know (I am booked to have surgery on 30/12). I feel sad that you have stopped blogging - I would love to hear how you are getting on with your band two years on.

    I fear that you may not be blogging because you are lacking inspiration (if that is the case re-read your blog it is totally inspiring). I too am a chocoholic and I have successfully lost weight in the past only to pile it back on (I was 5.5st lighter 2 years ago). I have come to the conclusion that I cannot eat any chocolate - total abstinence is the only way forward (I have managed to give up chocolate for years in the past and I always become complacent: "a little won't hurt....." - the trouble is I cannot eat just a "little" :(.

    Your blog has soothed my fears, made me laugh, cry, smile and reflect. So many of the issues you have so generously and honestly addressed here resonate with me very strongly. I hope you will find the time / inner resource / confidence / interest / desire (delete as appropriate) to resume your blog. I for one will be reading if you do.


    Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

    I am sending all of my bestest vibes to you with this comment (I hope they manage to cling on as they hurtle through cyber-space) Zoe x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you anonymous. See my latest post (5th October 2012). I wish I had read your chocolate abstinence comment over and over and over until I adopted it for myself. I have now, but if I'd followed your lead I may have done it long ago

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    2. Hello Theresa :),

      By chance I popped back here and am totally thrilled to see you are back! And back on it!! I am sooo pleased. Your blog was such an inspiration for me. I will be one year banded on 30th December. I too kept a blog (http://banded-hope.blogspot.co.uk/ ) but was never as dedicated as you at updating it.

      I'm going to go and read your latest posts now :).

      Complete chocolate abstinence is definitely the only way for chocoholics like us. Harsh but true (to be honest once the cravings are out of my system I begin to realise there really isn't anything worth missing about the stuff!)

      Good luck Lovely :)

      X

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  11. Hope you are still doing well ! I had my band 2yrs ago I did lose about 2st but not much more. It's very sad as I feel I've failed once again. I only have 1ml in at present and wish I'd never bothered really . Good luck in the future

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