Since my last post in November things have changed somewhat. We moved house in December, Christmas was upon us, and then I went on a field trip to Spain with a group of students. Although I'd eaten a fair bit over Christmas - who doesn't! - something happened on that field trip..... I just struggled to eat the food they provided. Granted, there was a lot of stodgy, high carb food (ideal for teenage boys on fieldwork, but not great for a bandit!), but do you know what, I could hardly be bothered to eat! I came back half a stone lighter after one week away, and the trend has continued ever since. Slowly, but steadily I have continued to lose weight without really trying. It's as though my brain has finally caught up with my body. I need to explain that don't I?! All my life my body has screamed out 'you're not hungry, you're full, you don't need to eat any more'. But my brain - I'm guessing the emotional bit - has argued back 'yes I do NEED this food'.
For the past six months I just haven't been that bothered about food, for the first time in my life. In fact, also for the first time in my life, I have experienced actually being hungry on quite a few occasions! I'm getting great restriction and there is no way I need another fill, my band is working just fine as it is. In fact, I think that for the first time in the 4.5 years that me and Mr Band have been awkward housemates, we are finally starting to get along.
I've more or less given up eating bread all together and I really struggle with stodgy stuff like rice, pasta and potatoes - unless it's either (a) quite late in the day, or (b) has lots of sauce or fatty stuff with it. I rarely eat anything solid before about 2pm (I have a protein shake for breakfast and often have soup for lunch). However, I find I can eat quite a bit in the evening.
My only real challenge now is to try to swap the odd biscuits and cakes for fruit or something a bit healthier. But I've decided not to beat myself up about it too much, after all, I'm losing weight slowly (about 31 pounds since Christmas) and not having to work too hard at it!
Showing posts with label Hungry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hungry. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Monday, February 1, 2010
Intertrigo, going going gone...
In 2004, I developed a horrendous, itchy, red fungal infection under the folds of my hanging stomach (I do hope you weren't eating anything!). It reached its climax when I was on holiday in Canada and I ended up in casualty. That in itself is a long story (about ten hours long if I recollect correctly), but I'll get on with the main point. This red fungal infection turned out to be something called intertrigo, a common fungal infection experienced by obese people with hanging folds of skin. You can get it under armpits, breasts, and groin as well as under the tummy where I got it and it thrives in hot, sweaty places! It doesn't look very nice but the worst part is that it is incredibly itchy - to the point where you feel physically sick.
I got some temporary relief for the condition while on holiday but had to wait till I got back for a longer term solution. In fact I was prescribed a steroid-based cream by my GP which I used, at her insistence, for nearly six months. By this time, the infection had not only resolutely stayed, but I had started to develop horrid, open blisters too. I began to suspect the cream was making things worse and did a bit of Internet research. I discovered to my horror, that the manufacturers recommended the cream not be used for more than ten days - because being steroid-based, it was prone to causing thinning of the skin (permanent) and open, ulcerated blisters!
Needless to say, I stopped using the cream immediately, and on the advice of a pharmacist, reverted to an off-the-shelf product instead. That did the trick and I've used a combination of cream and powder ever since to keep the condition under control. I've been left with permanent scarring under one part of my tummy but I don't suppose I'll be modelling bikinis any time soon - so I can live with it! However, over the past few weeks I have started to think I might be rid of the condition. My tummy still sticks out a bit - that will have to be sorted with some excess akin removal next year. But I don't have a hanging tummy any more. That means the area underneath no longer gets all hot and sweaty - and so it stays dry and fungus-free.
As a result I have started to grow in confidence recently, and gradually cut down on my use of the anti-fungal cream and powder. I've not used either now for the past two weeks and it would appear that my intertrigo has gone!! Yippee!! This is one of the most important outcomes of my weight loss. A few months ago I really thought I would be stuck with having to apply cream and powder to my tum for the rest of my life. I feel a weight (no pun intended) has been lifted off my shoulders.
I got some temporary relief for the condition while on holiday but had to wait till I got back for a longer term solution. In fact I was prescribed a steroid-based cream by my GP which I used, at her insistence, for nearly six months. By this time, the infection had not only resolutely stayed, but I had started to develop horrid, open blisters too. I began to suspect the cream was making things worse and did a bit of Internet research. I discovered to my horror, that the manufacturers recommended the cream not be used for more than ten days - because being steroid-based, it was prone to causing thinning of the skin (permanent) and open, ulcerated blisters!
Needless to say, I stopped using the cream immediately, and on the advice of a pharmacist, reverted to an off-the-shelf product instead. That did the trick and I've used a combination of cream and powder ever since to keep the condition under control. I've been left with permanent scarring under one part of my tummy but I don't suppose I'll be modelling bikinis any time soon - so I can live with it! However, over the past few weeks I have started to think I might be rid of the condition. My tummy still sticks out a bit - that will have to be sorted with some excess akin removal next year. But I don't have a hanging tummy any more. That means the area underneath no longer gets all hot and sweaty - and so it stays dry and fungus-free.
As a result I have started to grow in confidence recently, and gradually cut down on my use of the anti-fungal cream and powder. I've not used either now for the past two weeks and it would appear that my intertrigo has gone!! Yippee!! This is one of the most important outcomes of my weight loss. A few months ago I really thought I would be stuck with having to apply cream and powder to my tum for the rest of my life. I feel a weight (no pun intended) has been lifted off my shoulders.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Predisposed to gluttony
There was an interesting item on the One Show on BBC this evening. They are taking a look at the seven deadly sins - one each day - and it was gluttony's turn today. First the question was asked, why are we so gluttonous? Is this something we are predisposed to from an evolutionary point of view? Well, apparently yes. In ancient times food was relatively scarce, particularly in the winter months. Therefore we would eat what we could find and hunt in the summer months of relative plenty and gain weight. This extra fat would have seen us through the relatively lean days of the winter. The difficulty for modern (western) people is that food is never in shortage and therefore we simply gain weight and become obese.
The programme makers then asked if there was anything we can do to overcome this - so they performed a simple experiment. They got four people to fast for 24 hours. They were then allowed to eat as much as they wanted. Blood samples were taken during the fasting, during the eating and afterwards. They tested two groups of hormones, those that relate to hunger (ghelin) and several others that indicate satiety - or fullness. They found that, as expected, the ghelin was very high before eating - because they were hungry from their 24h fast. Ghelin levels then fell during eating and again afterwards. However, it took 30 minutes for this hormone to fall. At the same time, the levels of satiety hormones increased during and after eating - but again there was a delay of about 30 minutes before any change took place.
The problem with delay this was illustrated superbly by one of the participants, who, in less than 30 minutes, ate a substantial meal of steak, chips and peas, and no less than FIVE desserts!! This totalled more than 3,000 calories - far higher than the recommended total daily intake for a man of his height and weight! Adrian Chiles, one of the programme presenters joked that he usually tried to eat his food as quickly as possible so that he could eat it all before that 'full' feeling had time to kick in!!
So, the moral of this tale, is EAT SLOWLY! This is what our band providers tell us all the time and here is the reason why. So, message to self: Eat slowly, eat with small utensils to facilitate this, put the knife and fork down between mouthfuls, chew everything a lot to slow it down even further and finally, don't get distracted while eating because this tends to make us eat even faster!
The programme makers then asked if there was anything we can do to overcome this - so they performed a simple experiment. They got four people to fast for 24 hours. They were then allowed to eat as much as they wanted. Blood samples were taken during the fasting, during the eating and afterwards. They tested two groups of hormones, those that relate to hunger (ghelin) and several others that indicate satiety - or fullness. They found that, as expected, the ghelin was very high before eating - because they were hungry from their 24h fast. Ghelin levels then fell during eating and again afterwards. However, it took 30 minutes for this hormone to fall. At the same time, the levels of satiety hormones increased during and after eating - but again there was a delay of about 30 minutes before any change took place.
The problem with delay this was illustrated superbly by one of the participants, who, in less than 30 minutes, ate a substantial meal of steak, chips and peas, and no less than FIVE desserts!! This totalled more than 3,000 calories - far higher than the recommended total daily intake for a man of his height and weight! Adrian Chiles, one of the programme presenters joked that he usually tried to eat his food as quickly as possible so that he could eat it all before that 'full' feeling had time to kick in!!
So, the moral of this tale, is EAT SLOWLY! This is what our band providers tell us all the time and here is the reason why. So, message to self: Eat slowly, eat with small utensils to facilitate this, put the knife and fork down between mouthfuls, chew everything a lot to slow it down even further and finally, don't get distracted while eating because this tends to make us eat even faster!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Working with my band
Here is the essence of what I replied to an anonymous comment - you may find it useful:
Stretching your pouch: If you eat very slowly, which is what we are advised to do, then food will gradually pass from the upper pouch into the lower, main stomach. However, if you eat too quickly, or eat too much in one go, there is a small danger of stretching the pouch. This is usually temporary but if serious this can lead to band slippage. However, long before you get to the point of stretching your pouch it is likely that you would experience pain (often referred to by bandits as 'iron fist') behind the breastbone - this is your body's way of warning you that you should slow down when eating!
Anti-hunger pills: The whole point of the band is that by retaining food in the upper pouch, you 'trick' your brain into thinking that you are full, and so don't feel hungry. Therefore, if you work with the band, you shouldn't feel hungry and there should be no need to use additional drugs or supplements to reduce hunger. Personally, I would never use Reducteel or anything similar - I have paid a lot of money to have gastric band surgery and am determined to work with it.
The band and liquids: The band does not restrict liquids at all and we are always encouraged to drink plenty - therefore you should never experience thirst with the band - you can drink as much as you want (however, try to drink calorie-free drinks).
Dealing with hunger: I can honestly say that I have rarely experienced real hunger in my entire life. However, the biggest difficulty that many obese people experience is not real hunger, but what we often refer to as 'head hunger'. In other words - emotional hunger. This is something that the band cannot deal with. As a result of my emotional craving for food, yes, I have eaten loads on occasions, including binge-eating of chocolate. However, most of the foods we eat when over-eating and binging are foods that slip through the band easily anyway (e.g. chocolate, cakes, biscuits, crisps, fast food etc). Therefore, these foods generally don't increase the risk of pouch stretching - but of course they increase all sorts of other health risks.
Advice for new bandits: I think the important thing for a newly-banded person is to find out as much as you can about the band and how it is supposed to work - ideally from medically-trained people. The band will only do 30% of the work in weight loss - we have to work with the band to achieve the other 70% of effort necessary. This is far from easy and requires a considerable effort and commitment on our part. I've fallen flat on my face many times in my band journey because of my own weakness and lack of self-control, but at the same time I know that my band is my friend and if I work with it, it is a friend indeed.
As with all of the things I post on this blog, this is all just my opinion, based on my own research and most importantly, my experience. We all have very different bodies, needs, personalities and histories, so my experience may not be the same as yours! Always try to get support and advice from your band provider, dietician or bariatric nurse.
Stretching your pouch: If you eat very slowly, which is what we are advised to do, then food will gradually pass from the upper pouch into the lower, main stomach. However, if you eat too quickly, or eat too much in one go, there is a small danger of stretching the pouch. This is usually temporary but if serious this can lead to band slippage. However, long before you get to the point of stretching your pouch it is likely that you would experience pain (often referred to by bandits as 'iron fist') behind the breastbone - this is your body's way of warning you that you should slow down when eating!
Anti-hunger pills: The whole point of the band is that by retaining food in the upper pouch, you 'trick' your brain into thinking that you are full, and so don't feel hungry. Therefore, if you work with the band, you shouldn't feel hungry and there should be no need to use additional drugs or supplements to reduce hunger. Personally, I would never use Reducteel or anything similar - I have paid a lot of money to have gastric band surgery and am determined to work with it.
The band and liquids: The band does not restrict liquids at all and we are always encouraged to drink plenty - therefore you should never experience thirst with the band - you can drink as much as you want (however, try to drink calorie-free drinks).
Dealing with hunger: I can honestly say that I have rarely experienced real hunger in my entire life. However, the biggest difficulty that many obese people experience is not real hunger, but what we often refer to as 'head hunger'. In other words - emotional hunger. This is something that the band cannot deal with. As a result of my emotional craving for food, yes, I have eaten loads on occasions, including binge-eating of chocolate. However, most of the foods we eat when over-eating and binging are foods that slip through the band easily anyway (e.g. chocolate, cakes, biscuits, crisps, fast food etc). Therefore, these foods generally don't increase the risk of pouch stretching - but of course they increase all sorts of other health risks.
Advice for new bandits: I think the important thing for a newly-banded person is to find out as much as you can about the band and how it is supposed to work - ideally from medically-trained people. The band will only do 30% of the work in weight loss - we have to work with the band to achieve the other 70% of effort necessary. This is far from easy and requires a considerable effort and commitment on our part. I've fallen flat on my face many times in my band journey because of my own weakness and lack of self-control, but at the same time I know that my band is my friend and if I work with it, it is a friend indeed.
As with all of the things I post on this blog, this is all just my opinion, based on my own research and most importantly, my experience. We all have very different bodies, needs, personalities and histories, so my experience may not be the same as yours! Always try to get support and advice from your band provider, dietician or bariatric nurse.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The goodness goes on...
Wow! Not sure what is happening. Two more excellent days where my eating has been totally under control, I've felt real restriction and nit been hungry or craved food at all! Today, for example, I had orange juice and Actimel drink followed by banana and a small cereal bar for breakfast (200 calories). For lunch I had a pre-prepared salmon (200 calories), bulgar wheat and vegetable snack pot. This evening I prepared two veggie sausages, boiled potato and sprouts (315 calories). So far I've eaten about 35% of it and I'm stuffed!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Having a better day - why?
I've had quite a good couple of days. On Sunday I set aside time to do some stepping, light weights training and stretching. I felt so much better afterwards and it gave me a mental lift. Yesterday was a very long, hard day at work but I somehow managed to largely stick to healthy eating. Today has been a bit more relaxed and I've eaten quite healthily today. I ate raspberries, Greek yoghurt and chopped banana for breakfast. It was midday before I was able to eat it and it was slow going. But it left me feeling quite full. For late lunch I ate a cheese sandwich with a tin of Weight Watchers mushroom soup. I got peckish early evening (nothing new there then!) and had a small cereal bar. Then this evening I ate a piece of fresh trout fillet, stuffed pasta and mixed veg (butternut squash, courgette and spinach). I bought the trout Monday, thinking it was salmon! Still, it tasted delish and was lower in fat than the salmon!
I guess today has been better for three reasons:
1. I worked at home so (a) wasn't tempted by the chocolate vending machine at work and (b) was able to take much more control over the timing of meals.
2. I was feeling a bit more positive after a weekend that included some exercise.
3. I started the day a bit later (10am instead of 5.30am) and so ate my evening meal later. I am writing this at 10.30pm, about to go to bed and feeling nicely full!
So can I carry any of this forward to give me continued success? Well I certainly can't work at home every day (chance would be a fine thing!). I could try to make sure I don't have any loose change so I can't use the vending machine. I could also eat my breakfast later in the day (I don't usually feel hungry in the morning anyway) - or split breakfast and have some a bit later. But I honestly think the thing most likely to work for me us making time to do some exercise, walk, go to the gym, swim etc. Because whenever I do physical activity I get a psychological boost and feel so much better physically. I am building up a renewed resolve to put exercise higher up my priority list.
Keep your fingers crossed for me please!
I guess today has been better for three reasons:
1. I worked at home so (a) wasn't tempted by the chocolate vending machine at work and (b) was able to take much more control over the timing of meals.
2. I was feeling a bit more positive after a weekend that included some exercise.
3. I started the day a bit later (10am instead of 5.30am) and so ate my evening meal later. I am writing this at 10.30pm, about to go to bed and feeling nicely full!
So can I carry any of this forward to give me continued success? Well I certainly can't work at home every day (chance would be a fine thing!). I could try to make sure I don't have any loose change so I can't use the vending machine. I could also eat my breakfast later in the day (I don't usually feel hungry in the morning anyway) - or split breakfast and have some a bit later. But I honestly think the thing most likely to work for me us making time to do some exercise, walk, go to the gym, swim etc. Because whenever I do physical activity I get a psychological boost and feel so much better physically. I am building up a renewed resolve to put exercise higher up my priority list.
Keep your fingers crossed for me please!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A funny ol' day
Yeah, it's been a funny old day. I've gradually developed a splitting headache and have variously been starving and stuffed. I've also had a slime episode and binged on chocolate! I discovered that it 'that time of month' which probably explains the headache, odd cravings and weird stomach feelings. I put the slime episode down to the fact that I was working at my computer while eating my lunch - a recipe for getting distracted and eating too much or too fast - or both.
Anyway, I'm home now, and feeling rather full after munching my way through several Kitkats on the way home. It wasn't helped by the fact that there was some sort of special offer on, and when I went to pay for my one Kitkat and bag of Maltesers, the guy behind the counter gave me another free Kitkat! I almost gave it away to a complete stranger as I left the garage forecourt - but I simply couldn't do it - so I ate it instead.
I think I'll just put today down to an odd one and not worry too much about it.
Anyway, I'm home now, and feeling rather full after munching my way through several Kitkats on the way home. It wasn't helped by the fact that there was some sort of special offer on, and when I went to pay for my one Kitkat and bag of Maltesers, the guy behind the counter gave me another free Kitkat! I almost gave it away to a complete stranger as I left the garage forecourt - but I simply couldn't do it - so I ate it instead.
I think I'll just put today down to an odd one and not worry too much about it.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
SO much to remember!
I used to think banding was simple - it restricts your stomach, you can't eat as much, you feel full sooner and for longer. Oh if only it were that straight forward! Here are a few of the 'rules' I have to remind myself of daily:
- Eat three small meals per day
- Chew everything to death and eat small pieces
- Don't drink after eating
- Use small utensils and a side plate for meals
- Practice environmental control
- Keep reminding your husband to hide the baguette and biscuits
- Take a bagful of food with you to work every day (breakfast cereal, milk, orange juice, Actimel, lunch, healthy snacks)
- Write everything down - food, calories, drinks, exercise, steps.....
- Make sure plenty of your meal is made up of protein to keep you feeling full for longer (it takes away the hunger)
- Don't overcook the vegetables - the crunchier the better
- Beware when eating fruit with skins or peels - eat extra slowly and not in front of everyone (hiccups can be violent)
- Take healthy snacks to work - better than eating chocolate
- Keep reminding your husband to add healthy things to the shopping list (fruit, yoghurt, cottage cheese) - and to remove things that are too tempting (biscuits and baguettes)
- Drink, drink, and drink some more
- If you think you're hungry, have a drink first - then eat if you still feel hungry after half an hour
- Is it real hunger or just head hunger?
- If you start thinking about chocolate, do something to distract yourself.... (MUCH easier said than done)
- Keep reminding your husband not to bring you a cup of tea immediately after you've eaten
- Worry about whether you've got the right level of restriction at least every five minutes......
- Remember to cook a double portion of dinner so you can take half of it to work for lunch the next day
- Cook meals that are nutritionally balanced
- Take your daily multivitamin, and calcium tablets, oh, and lactulose occasionally......
- Stop buying huge amounts of fod on the weekly shop - it will end up going mouldy
- Get excited about strong restriction in the morning - and then get disapointed when it wears off in the aftrnoon
- Find time to walk
- Find time to go to the gym
- ...or do anything else physical
- Keep reminding your husband to put most of the bread in the freezer - I can't eat so much these days so it will go off if left in the bread bin
- Refrain from getting annoyed when every other person you see asks you, in a loud voice, how much you weigh....
Oh I could go on! There are so many lessons to learn in living with the band but it's just impossible to keep them all in your head at the same time. So as fast as I remember one lesson, I forget the rest. Today, I went to work with what I thought was a lovely lunch (leftovers from last night - but nice, nonetheless). However, whereas last night I put quite a lot of low fat melted cheese on it - today I didn't. The result was a very bland meal with absolutely no fat in it, unappetising and completely lacking in protein. End result? One hungry lady mid-afternoon - looking for snacks and 'nice' things to eat.....
When will I ever learn?!!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Breakfast idea
When I was at the support group last weekend I had a nice chat with a lady about what she eats at different meals. I got some good ideas about what I could eat for breakfast to sometimes replace cereal. In particular, I like the idea of having natural yoghurt and mixed fruits. We've now bought some mixed frozen berries exactly for this purpose. I've been trying to eat a banana some mornings in addition to my cereal, because I find I get hungry mid-morning quite often. Having said that I find bananas quite difficult to get down and gave to take them very slowly. If I don't slow down I get these violent hiccups fir a few minutes!! Very embarrassing when you're eating at a desk next to a colleague!!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Breakfast at three.....
Just like yesterday, today was another mad day at work. So mad, in fact, that it was three in the afternoon before I got my breakfast!! And I started work at 7am having left the comfort of my bed at 5.30am. So it's not surprising that my eating continues to yoyo. I ate a Weight Watcher's ocean pie at 3pm and followed this up with a banana and a Muller Light yoghurt. At 6pm I went for a coffee with an equally overworked colleague and managed to stuff down a muffin. I was genuinely hungry at that point. Then on the way home at 8pm I ate a Kitkat! I'm sitting in my easy chair at home now, wondering whether I should eat anything else before going to bed. Although I'm not that hungry any more, my old head is telling me that I haven't had any 'proper' evening meal - and that I should eat something. I think I might compromise and have a piece of toast....
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
A mincing experience
Last night I cooked up some soya mince with brown rice and some mixed frozen vegetables. It seemed like a balanced meal, with the mince being low in fat but rich in protein. I've had the mince many times before but not since my last fill. While the mince was cooking I'd added a little original Bisto gravy to provide a little flavour. I tucked into my meal - but only got as far as about three small forkfuls. I was just really struggling to get it down. It wasn't that it had made me full - I was still hungry! But I couldn't manage any more so put it to one side.
About an hour later I thought I'd have another go. Then I had a brainwave! I made up some vegetable gravy from Bisto gravy granules (I don't normally use this because it is relatively fatty). I poured this on top of the heated up meal and added some melted cheese. For good measure I added loads of black pepper and a little salt. I tucked in again - this time it went down much more easily! It was also much nicer! I finished the whole lot and was nicely full by the end.
It just goes to prove that drier textured food is more difficult to get down than food that is more fatty. On this occasion though, I appear to have begun by getting the balance wrong and making it too dry. You live and learn!
About an hour later I thought I'd have another go. Then I had a brainwave! I made up some vegetable gravy from Bisto gravy granules (I don't normally use this because it is relatively fatty). I poured this on top of the heated up meal and added some melted cheese. For good measure I added loads of black pepper and a little salt. I tucked in again - this time it went down much more easily! It was also much nicer! I finished the whole lot and was nicely full by the end.
It just goes to prove that drier textured food is more difficult to get down than food that is more fatty. On this occasion though, I appear to have begun by getting the balance wrong and making it too dry. You live and learn!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Changing my mind?
I don't know - yesterday I posted in a more positive vein about the success, or otherwise, of my latest fill. I'm already doubting the wisdom of my optimism! Earlier today I asked for advice from the readers of the UKGastricBand forum. I don't normally do this, but I tought I would post the same basic text here in case any of my blog readers can offer any insight and post a comment.
I need some advice on whether I need another fill or not. It's been just over a week since my NINTH fill and I've been eating solids for most of that time. I have 7.7ml in a 10ml band. My sequence of fills has been:
Well I can still eat more than all of them. Although I generally stick to about 1200 calories a day - I have to work quite hard at this. If I ate entirely guided by my hunger I could easily manage quite a bit more than that. A typical evening meal is four baby new potatoes, half a side plate of veggies and a 'normal' sized piece of salmon. This leaves me feeling pleasantly satisified or even full - but within a couple of hours I'm getting hunger pangs again. I think they really are hunger pangs, rather than 'head hunger'.
Don't get me wrong, I am losing weight - but I feel I am having to work so hard at resisting the hunger - which is what I got the band for. I'd love to be able to relax and just eat when I'm hnugry and know that that amount would keep me losing weight.
I don't want to be so tight that I take an hour to eat an apple, say (!) - but does this level of restriction seem right to you? Am I being fussy? Do I need another fill or is this risking going through the de-fill cycle all over again?
I need some advice on whether I need another fill or not. It's been just over a week since my NINTH fill and I've been eating solids for most of that time. I have 7.7ml in a 10ml band. My sequence of fills has been:
- Op 15th November, first fill ten weeks later.
- 5ml under x-ray, followed by 1.5ml then 1ml. This took me to 7.5ml which was too tight (slime, indigestion).
- Had de-fill of 0.5ml, then later top-ups of 0.3ml and 0.4ml - taking me to 7.7ml. That was way too tight (acid reflux, couldn't drink properly, slime, constant indigestion etc).
- Had second de-fill of 0.5ml, then later top-ups of 0.3ml and 0.2ml - taking me right back to 7.7ml which is where I am now!
Well I can still eat more than all of them. Although I generally stick to about 1200 calories a day - I have to work quite hard at this. If I ate entirely guided by my hunger I could easily manage quite a bit more than that. A typical evening meal is four baby new potatoes, half a side plate of veggies and a 'normal' sized piece of salmon. This leaves me feeling pleasantly satisified or even full - but within a couple of hours I'm getting hunger pangs again. I think they really are hunger pangs, rather than 'head hunger'.
Don't get me wrong, I am losing weight - but I feel I am having to work so hard at resisting the hunger - which is what I got the band for. I'd love to be able to relax and just eat when I'm hnugry and know that that amount would keep me losing weight.
I don't want to be so tight that I take an hour to eat an apple, say (!) - but does this level of restriction seem right to you? Am I being fussy? Do I need another fill or is this risking going through the de-fill cycle all over again?
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Un-learning the past
I've been thinking today about all of the eating habits that I have developed over a lifetime, and how I need to start to 'un-learn' some of them. For instance, we all learn from a young age that it is 'normal' to have breakfast first thing in the morning, that lunch is taken at around midday and that evening meal is at x o' clock. (I put 'x' o' clock because people get into their own habits about evening meal time. Because of my work patterns we have eaten evening meal at around 8pm for years - but I know this is considered quite late by most people.). I suppose I have also got into the habit of believing that a meal is of a certain size, and includes some starch, protein and veggies.
Since my last fill, however, I am trying to undo some of these basic beliefs, habits and traditions. Take last night, for example. I'd had my evening meal and was sitting up late-ish watching a film. I got hungry and thought about what I could eat. In the past I would have made up a huge cheese sandwich or a toastie or eaten some chocolate (if there was any left!). Last night, however, I looked at my food diary for the day to see if there were any food groups under-represented and saw that I hadn't really had much protein during the day. So my late-night snack? I ended up with a scrambled egg and melted cheese!! It wasn't just delicious, but also very filling.
[As an aside - I have recently discovered Rosemary Conley's mature low fat cheddar cheese - it's only 189 calories per 100g - which is only a little bit more than Philadelphia Light!!! - and it's luvverly!!].
Then as another example, I have been trying really hard to eat when I am hungry and not just eat when it is 'the right time'. This means that on the one hand I have found myself snacking on yoghurt mid-morning, but I've also sometimes had lunch at 3pm and several days have split my evening meal into two and had half at about 6pm and the other half at 9pm! Odd those this may all sound, it really does seem to be working. The result is, of course, that I am never hungry - because as soon as I am, I eat! Of course I have to stick to eating healthy foods but I don't really find this a problem most of the time.
Since my last fill, however, I am trying to undo some of these basic beliefs, habits and traditions. Take last night, for example. I'd had my evening meal and was sitting up late-ish watching a film. I got hungry and thought about what I could eat. In the past I would have made up a huge cheese sandwich or a toastie or eaten some chocolate (if there was any left!). Last night, however, I looked at my food diary for the day to see if there were any food groups under-represented and saw that I hadn't really had much protein during the day. So my late-night snack? I ended up with a scrambled egg and melted cheese!! It wasn't just delicious, but also very filling.
[As an aside - I have recently discovered Rosemary Conley's mature low fat cheddar cheese - it's only 189 calories per 100g - which is only a little bit more than Philadelphia Light!!! - and it's luvverly!!].
Then as another example, I have been trying really hard to eat when I am hungry and not just eat when it is 'the right time'. This means that on the one hand I have found myself snacking on yoghurt mid-morning, but I've also sometimes had lunch at 3pm and several days have split my evening meal into two and had half at about 6pm and the other half at 9pm! Odd those this may all sound, it really does seem to be working. The result is, of course, that I am never hungry - because as soon as I am, I eat! Of course I have to stick to eating healthy foods but I don't really find this a problem most of the time.
Monday, August 17, 2009
I don't understand - but I like it
What is happening to me? When we were away on holiday last week I was eating quite large food portions. I didn't gain any weight because we burned loads of calories walking. As soon as we returned I resolved to get back to smaller portions and healthy eating. This past week something very odd has been happening. I've been gradually eating less and less and getting less and less hungry. This has come to a bit of a head today. Here's what I've eaten (calories in brackets):
Breakfast: Two small pieces of bread topped with warm tuna and melted cheese. Also orange juice and an Actimel drink. (300)
Lunch: Mixed salad vegetables with adzuki beans and a scoop of cottage cheese. (125)
Evening meal: Salmon, rice and frozen mixed veg. (230)
Other: Ben and Jerry's ice cream tub (at cinema). (230)
Now, dinner was actually 460 calories but because we went to the cinema quite early, I decided to split dinner in half. I ate half before we went with the intention of eating the rest when we got back. While at the cinema I had a B and J ice cream. Anyway, when I got back, I got the rest of my dinner out of the fridge and smelt it - mmmm, lovely! I picked at a couple of bits and ate them - a tiny piece of salmon and a bit of green bean. I knew immediately that there was no way I was going to be able to eat it all. I felt absolutely stuffed! An hour on, I'm still feeling stuffed to the point of nausea....?! My total calorie count for the day will only be about 900 - it hasn't been that low for months!
I reported a similar experience to this on August 10th. All this last week I have been experimenting with splitting either my lunch or dinner in two - thus having four meals per day. I've also been eating whenever I've been hungry - healthy snacks like fruit or yoghurt. And at the same time I seem to be experiencing real restriction for the first time. I am seriously considering cancelling (or at very least, postponing) the fill I have booked on August 23rd.
As ever, I'll keep you posted - but I am feeling quite optimistic about my restriction at last.
Breakfast: Two small pieces of bread topped with warm tuna and melted cheese. Also orange juice and an Actimel drink. (300)
Lunch: Mixed salad vegetables with adzuki beans and a scoop of cottage cheese. (125)
Evening meal: Salmon, rice and frozen mixed veg. (230)
Other: Ben and Jerry's ice cream tub (at cinema). (230)
Now, dinner was actually 460 calories but because we went to the cinema quite early, I decided to split dinner in half. I ate half before we went with the intention of eating the rest when we got back. While at the cinema I had a B and J ice cream. Anyway, when I got back, I got the rest of my dinner out of the fridge and smelt it - mmmm, lovely! I picked at a couple of bits and ate them - a tiny piece of salmon and a bit of green bean. I knew immediately that there was no way I was going to be able to eat it all. I felt absolutely stuffed! An hour on, I'm still feeling stuffed to the point of nausea....?! My total calorie count for the day will only be about 900 - it hasn't been that low for months!
I reported a similar experience to this on August 10th. All this last week I have been experimenting with splitting either my lunch or dinner in two - thus having four meals per day. I've also been eating whenever I've been hungry - healthy snacks like fruit or yoghurt. And at the same time I seem to be experiencing real restriction for the first time. I am seriously considering cancelling (or at very least, postponing) the fill I have booked on August 23rd.
As ever, I'll keep you posted - but I am feeling quite optimistic about my restriction at last.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Tonight's dinner - update
Two hours on from my last post I had another attempt at eating my dinner. I still wasn't hungry as such, just less full than before. Anyway, I managed to finish it - and it was lovely - even cold (I couldn't be bothered to heat it up!). My husband asked "how come you couldn't eat it earlier?" - and I have no answer for him. It's this band thing - it really does have a mind of its own!
A lovely dinner - I think?!
Today's been another odd day, hunger-wise. I've struggled most of the day with hunger and been snacking a lot - on healthy snacks. I even split my breakfast into two to spread it out a bit. I had two snacks before lunch (yoghurt and banana) and then split my lunch into two as well! Despite having the second half of my lunch at about 3pm, I was hungry again by the time I left work for home (about 5.30pm). Oh, and I forgot to say that my lunch was exactly the same food that left me feeling stuffed for yesterday's evening meal (I cooked up two lots). I kept myself going on the journey home with a couple of mints and a bottle of Diet Coke.....
After arriving home at about 7pm, I faffed around for a bit and then started cooking. I prepared an old favourite - boiled baby potatoes, a piece of steamed salmon and some mixed vegetables. Tonight, veg consisted of mixed steamed onion and aubergine - with loads of black pepper and a dash of soy sauce (mmm lovely!). Anyway, still starving, I finally sat down to eat at 8.26pm. I remember the exact time because I wanted to make sure I didn't continue eating after 30 minutes - something my provider recommends ("if you haven't finished after 30 minutes, throw it away"). Anyway, it is 8.50pm as I write this.
So, did I eat all of my dinner in such a short time - I hear you ask? No. Actually, I managed about 15% of my meal and had to give up - totally stuffed! In fact I'm feeling slightly sick right now and there's no way I could eat anything more. I am seriously hoping that this fullness will wear off enough in an hour or two so that I can heat my dinner up in the microwave and eat some more - it was so lovely but I hardly had a chance to savour it at all!
WHAT is going on? Hungry all day and yet for the second night running I am having trouble eating my evening meal. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. Well, not much anyway! I'm not complaining about feeling full - that's what my band is supposed to do. What is confusing me is the lack of consistency. I don't understand how or why it is working like this. Certainly in the past I have felt more restriction in the morning - as many bandits do. But this last two days I seem to be experiencing the opposite.
I'll post a shortie later on this evening to let you know whether I managed to get back to my dinner or not!
After arriving home at about 7pm, I faffed around for a bit and then started cooking. I prepared an old favourite - boiled baby potatoes, a piece of steamed salmon and some mixed vegetables. Tonight, veg consisted of mixed steamed onion and aubergine - with loads of black pepper and a dash of soy sauce (mmm lovely!). Anyway, still starving, I finally sat down to eat at 8.26pm. I remember the exact time because I wanted to make sure I didn't continue eating after 30 minutes - something my provider recommends ("if you haven't finished after 30 minutes, throw it away"). Anyway, it is 8.50pm as I write this.
So, did I eat all of my dinner in such a short time - I hear you ask? No. Actually, I managed about 15% of my meal and had to give up - totally stuffed! In fact I'm feeling slightly sick right now and there's no way I could eat anything more. I am seriously hoping that this fullness will wear off enough in an hour or two so that I can heat my dinner up in the microwave and eat some more - it was so lovely but I hardly had a chance to savour it at all!
WHAT is going on? Hungry all day and yet for the second night running I am having trouble eating my evening meal. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. Well, not much anyway! I'm not complaining about feeling full - that's what my band is supposed to do. What is confusing me is the lack of consistency. I don't understand how or why it is working like this. Certainly in the past I have felt more restriction in the morning - as many bandits do. But this last two days I seem to be experiencing the opposite.
I'll post a shortie later on this evening to let you know whether I managed to get back to my dinner or not!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Hunger pangs and fullness
I've had a funny old day in terms of hunger! I decided to have a two-part breakfast to try and stave off hunger this morning. I started, first thing, with some cereal and orange juice. Then mid-morning I had one small slice of beans on toast. This kept me going until lunch time when I had a tuna and cottage cheese sandwich with mixed side salad. However, by mid-afternoon I was hungry again. I really struggled from about 3pm till 7pm and only got by through snacking. My first snack was a large nectarine, which seemed to have no effect in reducing my hunger pangs. Later I ate a small banana and that filled me right up!
We ate dinner at about 8pm and I had a vegetarian bean bake with mushroom-stuffed pasta, green beans and mushrooms. I had only eaten one third of this when I started to feel full. I probably should gave stopped eating at about half way through because I was full, but I simply couldn't resist the urge to plough on. I ate all of it in the end (about 280 calories in total) but this left feeling rather over-stuffed. It's the first time I have this level of fullness for many weeks.
So my total calorie count for the day is quite good (about 1050). However, on and off, I've struggled with both hunger and feeling too full! Odd. I haven't quite worked out if this is just a blip or if it is somehow related to my two-part breakfast. I'll monitor my progress over the coming days and see what happens.
We ate dinner at about 8pm and I had a vegetarian bean bake with mushroom-stuffed pasta, green beans and mushrooms. I had only eaten one third of this when I started to feel full. I probably should gave stopped eating at about half way through because I was full, but I simply couldn't resist the urge to plough on. I ate all of it in the end (about 280 calories in total) but this left feeling rather over-stuffed. It's the first time I have this level of fullness for many weeks.
So my total calorie count for the day is quite good (about 1050). However, on and off, I've struggled with both hunger and feeling too full! Odd. I haven't quite worked out if this is just a blip or if it is somehow related to my two-part breakfast. I'll monitor my progress over the coming days and see what happens.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I'm NOT a dustbin!
I recall reading in more than one place that overweight people commonly treat their bodies like a dustbin. One area where this is particularly noticeable is in the habit of clearing up food off of dinner plates, including other people's leftovers. Certainly my own consultant has said "don't treat your body like a dustbin" on more than one occasion, when advising people about trying to get into the habit of leaving food on the plate.
Well yesterday, I kept having 'head hunger' pangs and at one point I showed just how much of a dustbin I can occasionally treat my body. My sister was staying, and went to the kitchen cupboard to get out a packet of biscuits. She fumbled them a little as she lifted them out and dropped two biscuits on the kitchen floor. Being helpful, I bent down to clear them up. One of the biscuits had broken into lots of pieces so I scooped them up into my hand and dropped them into the bin. The other biscuit, however, had stayed in one piece...... so I picked it up and promptly popped it into my mouth!!
Afterwards I laughed at myself and the silliness of feeding myself with rubbish food - even food that had been on the floor! I suppose there are some habits that will take a while to get out of (eating rubbish food, not eating off the floor!).
Well yesterday, I kept having 'head hunger' pangs and at one point I showed just how much of a dustbin I can occasionally treat my body. My sister was staying, and went to the kitchen cupboard to get out a packet of biscuits. She fumbled them a little as she lifted them out and dropped two biscuits on the kitchen floor. Being helpful, I bent down to clear them up. One of the biscuits had broken into lots of pieces so I scooped them up into my hand and dropped them into the bin. The other biscuit, however, had stayed in one piece...... so I picked it up and promptly popped it into my mouth!!
Afterwards I laughed at myself and the silliness of feeding myself with rubbish food - even food that had been on the floor! I suppose there are some habits that will take a while to get out of (eating rubbish food, not eating off the floor!).
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Portion sizes
At the Healthier Weight support group meeting last weekend we discussed portion control. The discussion was not so much focussed on exact portion sizes or size 'rules' as such, more on general principes to help us with different situations. Here are some of the topics discussed:
- If eating out in a restaurant and your meal is too large to finish - either leave it or ask for a doggie bag! I've taken my own 'doggie' bag a few times and taken food home for the cats!
- When shopping, avoid buying multipacks and two-for-one offers. Having said that, this is OK if the items concerned are healthy!
- Avoid going to buffets. This is because research has shown that when faced with lots of variety, we are much more likely to eat bigger meals. I've certainly been there - being tempted to try a bit of this and a bit of that, and before you know where you are you have a large plateful.
- It's better to eat a too-large portion of salad than other high calorie food.
- Remove the long gaps between meals. This is an important principle that I am dealing with at the moment. I'm re-reading Paul McKenna's book ("I Can Make You Thin") and one of his four rules is that if you are hungry - eat! I know this seems to go against the grain when we are all trying to lose weight, but actually it's not good to get hungry because we are more likely to eat a large meal to satisfy the hunger. It's much better to either eat healthy snacks in between meals, if necessary, or alternately, have a larger number of small meals. I occasionally split my lunch into two and have half at 'lunchtime' and the other half late afternoon.
My provider does give detailed advice on exactly how much food to consume at each meal. Generally, this equates to 4-6 tablespoonfuls, but this is quite difficult to judge. It's no easier trying to judge portions in terms of weights (e.g so many grammes etc). Personally, I try to judge my portion sizes in three different, but hopefully complementary, ways:
1. How full I feel. I am still not very good at this and have to think about it very carefully. My head would tell me I was hungry all the time if I let it (!) - but I have to try and learn to listen to my body and be more sensitive to messages being sent to my brain from my stomach. I guess after years of ignoring these signals I have to slowly re-learn this ability. Eating slowly helps.
2. Calorie counting. I keep a count of my calorie intake for every meal and I am getting quite good at judging what I should be eating. However, this is not the most reliable way of assessing portion size because it is possible to eat a very large meal of very low calorie foods and vice versa.
3. Eating all my main meals off a small (7-inch) side plate. This works well. It also helps when eating out because I can visualise how big a side plate would be and, therefore, how large my meal is in comparison.
So, I don't know how much this all helps me because I am constantly struggling with (a) distinguishing between stomach hunger and head hunger, and (b) dealing with hunger between meals. Although as I said, I am working on this problem quite hard at the moment and sticking to the 'if you're hungry - eat' rule - which seems to be working quite well for me.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Out of control
Oh dear, I seem to be eating out of control again. I don't know what it is but I don't seem to be able to resist the urge to eat sweet, fatty, 'nice' things. I'm just hungry all the time - though I suspect a lot of it is head hunger rather than real hunger. What has happened to that goody two shoes who obeyed every rule and wrote everything down, ate everything off a small plate and generally got used to seeing the scales going down, down, down? She seems to have turned into this person who is intent on breaking every rule in the book, ignoring all the lessons learned from valuable experience and generally going bananas as far as food is concerned. I'm not entirely sure why this is happening. I could say it's partly down to insufficient restriction (still), it might be that 'time of month', it might simply be getting into bad habits because I've been doing a lot of eating out and sort-of holidaying lately. But a general malaise seems to have set in too.
We are off on our travels again today - heading up to Scotland for a week's walking - and there's no doubt I will get lots of exercise. If I was eating in a more controlled fashion, the calorie burning would inevitably mean good progress on my weight loss - but I am 'eating for England' at present so am staying static - even putting on a little weight. I can only hope that some time over the next few days my brain will sort itself out enough to get back on track and turn me into Miss goody two shoes again!
We are off on our travels again today - heading up to Scotland for a week's walking - and there's no doubt I will get lots of exercise. If I was eating in a more controlled fashion, the calorie burning would inevitably mean good progress on my weight loss - but I am 'eating for England' at present so am staying static - even putting on a little weight. I can only hope that some time over the next few days my brain will sort itself out enough to get back on track and turn me into Miss goody two shoes again!
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