Mr Tortoise gets a PB!

I was looking at my tickerfactory.com banner this morning and it occurred to me that I had selected the right icon - a tortoise - as the slide bar! I recall when I first got banded and discovered lots of fellow bandits had their own ticker factory banner. I remember thinking that some people didn't appear to have made that much progress over a period of time. And four years on, I am one of those people! I've lost 55lbs in four years and still had about 80-something pounds to go. But that got me thinking about my target - is 10 stone and 5 lbs really realistic for me anymore?

Other than when I briefly passed by that weight as a growing teenager, I've only been that weight once in my life. I was aged 23 and was running 40 miles per week! I went through a two year phase of being addicted to running, entering competitions, and achieving personal best after personal best. [as an aside, I was going to put PB instead of personal best, but nowadays that means something different to us bandits!!!]. At the time I was eating loads, but burning it all off, of course. Then I got injured and the running had to stop - but unfortunately the eating didn't.

So anyway, I've concluded that 145lbs is wishful thinking to the point of silliness. I'm 5ft 8ins and have a large frame (bone structure, I mean) - so it just isn't going to happen. So, I've changed my target weight to 12 stone. I've been there once or twice before and have been quite happy with my look and feel. If I ever get there again, I can think then about whether a lower target is realistic.

But for now, I've amended my target on the ticker, and Mr Tortoise has just had a surge of energy and belted along the race track - and he's now almost a the half way point! Cheered me up anyway!

Patience - an important lesson

I thought I'd give you a little insight into how things have been for me in the last year. A year ago I had a small fill, taking my total band fill up to about 7.7ml. This gave me a really nice level of restriction and for the first time in a while, I felt that my band could really help me to control my eating. However, the thorn in this theory was my binge-eating, primarily chocolate focused. At that time I was eating at least six or seven bars of chocolate per day, often eight bars, plus some other cakes and trifles. I estimate that I was consuming 1500-2000 calories per day through chocolate, ON TOP of a normal diet of about the same. It doesn't need a mathematician to work out that I was consuming nearly twice the calories that I actually needed. No wonder I was steadily gaining weight. I tried all kinds of things to cut down on the chocolate but nothing worked.

I have always subscribed to the view that a diet should be sustainable, otherwise it won't work. By the same token, I have always believed that since 'normal' people can eat a little chocolate, so should I be able to. And so my efforts over the years have been to cut down on chocolate consumption, rather than to cut it out all together. But I finally saw sense on May 25th this year, when I took the decision to completely cut out chocolate from my diet. Since that time I have very, very slowly begun to take back control over my diet and begun to lose weight again.

I thought I'd quote an anonymous comment on an earlier post (from 2010): "I too am a chocoholic and I have successfully lost weight in the past only to pile it back on (I was 5.5st lighter 2 years ago). I have come to the conclusion that I cannot eat any chocolate - total abstinence is the only way forward (I have managed to give up chocolate for years in the past and I always become complacent: "a little won't hurt....." - the trouble is I cannot eat just a "little". - Well there's at least a little comfort in knowing I'm not the only one!!

A year ago, I weighed 17 stone and 4 lbs, and now I'm exactly a stone less. So it's taken me six months to lose a stone, but maybe this is another lesson that I have learned from the last four years of being a bandit - patience, patience, patience - you can never have too much! Don't rush things, it's a marathon not a sprint. It is better to take six years to lose all the weight I want to, and to keep it off by developing good habits, than to lose it all in a year and put much of it back on again (which is effectively what happened to me).

Next time, more about the acid problem over the last year.... Bet you can't wait!!

An acid-free night!

I'm back on solid food today after my complete de-fill last Saturday. I've had no problems eating, but then I wouldn't expect to with an empty band. I'm still surprised, though, that I still have a significant amount of restriction, presumably just from the presence of the band itself. I am still getting pretty full after eating small portions. The bariatric nurse said to book an appointment for. Re-fill three weeks after the de-fill, but the way I am going I will be a little frightened doing that, and afraid that my acid reflux will come back.

The news on my acid reflux is that last night, for the first time in over a year, I didn't take any medication at all, and I had a good night's sleep. I plan on doing the same tonight, and see what happens.

So what have I eaten today?

Breakfast: Strawberry protein shake made up with soya milk and water.
Mid-morning snack: A sneaky cake. It was very small, but I was stuffed afterwards!
Late lunch: Weight watchers ocean pie (only 190 calories).
Afternoon snack: Some olives and pistachios.
Dinner: Wholewhat rice with flageolet beans, steamed aubergine and red onion. Followed by a fat free Greek-style yoghurt.

I must say, I really enjoyed my dinner - the first proper meal I have had in more than a week!

Slightly confused.....?

After my complete de-fill two days ago I've had a slightly confusing time. I had expected to be extremely hungry, but I haven't been. I guess there's still enough restriction from having the band, albeit empty, that it staves off the hunger pangs. On Saturday night I had no acid reflux at all, so I had the first decent sleep I've had in ages. But Sunday night I woke up with a nasty dull ache in my chest - about where my band is. It went off after a while and I went back to sleep. But the pain came back with a vengeance about half an hour after I got up this morning. I'm not sure what it is or what causes it. All I can do at the moment is monitor it - but it is a little worrying. All the talk of possibly needing an x-ray on Saturday has got me wondering what could possibly have gone wrong? If anything? I suppose I just have to be patient.

As far as food is concerned, I'm all souped out! My diet has consisted of soup, smoothies, yoghurt and milkshake (not all at once!). At work today, I took a can of soup with me. I hadn't realised until I went to open it, however, that it didn't have a ring-pull, and I didn't have a tin opener! I ended up trawling around people's offices trying to find someone who might have a Swiss Army knife! I found one eventually (thanks Ade!).

Tonight I've already had some mushroom soup (blended to remove the bits), and I'll have a fruit smoothie soon. I'm planning on moving onto mushy food tomorrow, and am looking forward to an ocean pie for tea!