Unrecognisable?

A few days ago I passed a colleague in the corridor. I hadn't seem him for several weeks so I gave him a broad smile. He looked right at me but didn't reciprocate. I thought perhaps he was day-dreaming so I said a big "Hello, Tom!" to catch his attention. Then he responded and said a lukewarm 'hi' but looked a little baffled. I thought nothing of it until yesterday when I passed another colleague in the corridor. She was standing talking to another colleague. As I approached them I smiled and said hello, and one colleague responded but the other didn't. She just sort of stared at me. Then she suddenly broke into a big grin and said that she hadn't recognised me!!

Today I saw Tom in the corridor again - and I made some quip along the lines of "we'll have to stop meeting like this". He walked alongside me for a bit and confessed that the other day when he saw me he hadn't recognised me and it wasn't until after he'd walked past that he'd worked out who I was!!!

I know I've changed quite a lot in physical appearance - even my nurse said my 'shape' was competely different now. But I suppose I have had these non-recognition episodes with colleagues moreso because we have all been away so much over the summer that many of us have not actually seen each other for several weeks. I fact, I haven't seen the guy I share a two-person office with since June!!!

Talking of which, my other half has been overseas for the last three weeks. I wonder if he will recognise me when he gets back?????!!!!!!

Is dieting necessary?

A couple of days ago a reader posted a comment which posed some important questions. In my attempt to answer these I somehow almost deleted the original post and comment and couldn't get it back again - as a comment. However, I did have a copy on my clipboard (phew!). So, since there were some important questions in there anyway I've posted the original comment and my response below. I do hope this was OK by you Amy - thanks so much for your contribution:

Hi Theresa,

I am an avid reader of your blog - has been marked under favorites forever! I have only commented once, though....I love reading about your progress - you are a very approachable writer, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I am wondering if you could be your eloquent self and answer this question....I was banded on June 22 and had my first fill on August 12 - 7ml in a 10 ml band. Before the surgery, I asked my consultant, if he had to use percentages, what percentage of my weight loss struggle would be my own burden, and how much of the struggle would the band take care of? I hope that makes sense to you...he answered he thought the band would do about 75 percent of the work. My question to you is....since you have lost SO much in 9 months, how much of the work did you do, and how much was the band? Your loss has been amazing, and it is early days for me yet, but I am having to overtly and actively "diet" to lose....Your weight seems to have come off very steadily and consistently ...I just had to ask you to try and see your success formula. Again, how much effort was you, and how much the band? Thanks for trying to make sense of the question for me....Amy

Hi Amy,

Thanks for your kind comments and for being such an avid and loyal reader - it's nice to be reminded from time to time that there are actually people out there reading this labour of love! To your question:

My provider, Healthier Weight (Dr David Ashton), liken weight loss with the band to a three-legged stool - remove one of the legs and the stool falls over (ie the band 'fails'). The three 'legs' are (a) the band and the restriction it provides, (b) the calories that go in - what WE put in our mouths, and (c) the calories that go out - through exercise. Using this analogy the band does one third of the work and we have control over the other two thirds. David Ashton told me at my consultation that I would have to do 70% of the work and the band would do the other 30%. These percentages are regularly cited on the UKGastricBand forum.

I think I put in very little of the effort during the first two months post-op because I was swollen and bloated and dealing with healing rather than weight loss. Nevertheless I lost quite a bit of weight during that time. The next five months were the toughest for me because it took a long time to get restriction (many people get it early on but I was not lucky in this respect). I complained a lot that the band wasn't keeping up it's end of the bargain and doing its 30%. I felt I was having to do most of the work by sticking to the band rules, doing lots of exercise and being disciplined. Just as I began to run out of steam I started to get some restriction at last. The last couple of months have been a bit up and down because the band is definitely providing some restriction now, though I am clearly nowhere near as tight as some others, but holidays, celebrations and meals out have disrupted my flow somewhat.

However, through these various ups and downs, I think what has helped me achieve fairly consistent weight loss has been that I decided, right from the beginning, that I was going to change some critical eating habits. These include:

1. Always eat off a side plate and use small cutlery
2. Eat slowly, avoid distractions, chew chew chew!
3. Don't drink for at least one hour after eating
4. Don't put gravy, sauces, mayonnaise etc on anything - keep it all low fat and dry
5. Eat carbs, proteins and veg/fruit in approx equal proportions
6. Practice environmental control - remove from the house anything that isn't nutritious and healthy
7. Aim to walk 10,000 steps per day (don't go anywhere without a pedometer)
8. Keep a food diary - weigh everything, count calories, write it down

Some of this has been a right pain (!), but it's been worth it. It is said that if you do something (whatever it is) for six weeks it will become a habit. It's true. For example, I no longer have to even think about eating slowly it just comes naturally.

I understand that you, indeed I, don't want to diet now we have a band. But I think there is a transitional period between the op and reaching that ideal restriction. If this period is short then lucky you! If it's longer, as it has been for me, then there is a choice - either maintain weight (or even gain) until you get restriction, or use that time to get into good habits and 'do your best'. If like me you continue to lose weight during that time then that's fantastic - but it may mean semi-dieting to some extent.

Gosh I've rambled on (hardly eloquently either!) - I hope that goes some way to answering your question. If it doesn't or you want to ask other questions, PLEASE ask away! I wish you all the best. Just remember this is no quick fix, it's a long haul (I have to keep reminding myself of that), and a key success factor, in my opinion, is getting into good habits early, and putting these good habits into practice most of the time (probably about 80% of the time in my case - I'm no angel!).

Theresa x x

Aren't sisters wonderful?

The weekend before last I spent with my my family down in London. I stayed with my Dad and his partner, but I saw most of the family at some point over the weekend, including my younger brother and sister (twins). I also saw my cousin and my favourite Uncle. I hadn't seen any of them since February so everybody commented on the weight that I had lost. I got loads of really nice, complimentary comments and everyone heaped praise on me over and again. I must say, I don't want to sound churlish, but it started to get me down after a while! I think, in a funny kind of way, it puts extra pressure on me to keep going and not to fail.... As I told my consultant at the Support group this weekend, I continue to look forward at the weight I still have to lose, not backwards at where I have come from. I think of it as though I had surgery yesterday and today is day one of the rest of my life. I know lots of people don't agree with this approach - but that's me - there you are!! So when people say nice, lovely things, I often feel like reminding them that the hard bit is still to come - I can take the complements but I can't be complacent.

Anyway, this morning, out of the blue, I received a card. It said 'Well done - I am so proud of you' on the front - and since I haven't passed my driving test recently or passed any exams, I was a bit confused as to why anybody would be sending me a 'Well Done' card! Upon opening, I discovered that it was from my sister, and this is what she wrote:

"Dear Theresa. Just to say I am pleased with your determination to improve to a healthier lifestyle. I know you have some time yet to achieve your target weight but you will do it. Keep up the pilates! Lots of love, Jayne. x x x". Ahhhh, wasn't that nice?!

Aww shucks!!

I don't know whether everyone's feeling bright cos it's summer or what, but I have had so many lovely compliments about my 'new look' in the past few days! I bumped into a lady at work this morning who I haven't seen for a few months and it is no exaggeration to say that she was beside herself with amazement and confusion about my new size. She said she had seen me a few days ago and wasn't sure if it was me, so didn't say hello! She cannot believe how much weight I have lost and how wonderful I look!!!

Then, just now I bumped into another colleague who I have seen a few times recently, but only from a distance - and she commented that I was disappearing before her eyes! A male colleague also made some passing comment along the lines of "what's left of you" and people who I hardly know have just said how 'well' I look!!!

I must confess that I don't really know how to respond to these kind comments from people. On the one hand, I try to avoid getting into too much discussion about how I have lost the weight because I have only told one work colleague about my band. But on the other hand, I am just not used to getting such kind praise from people for the way I look. I've always had praise for the quality of my work or for doing things well, but never how I look - so I don't really know what to say.

I'm also wondering why there's been such a plethora of comments very recently - I have been continuing to lose weight slowly but steadily but it's not as though there's been any major change suddenly. I guess that my body shape is continuing to change and every now and then, without me realising (since I don't actually see my body most of the time!), some visual threshold is passed that other people notice.

Anyway, despite the fact that I feel a little awkward when people compliment me, and despite the fact that these compliments, in a strange sort of way, add a little more pressure on me to keep up the good work, keep 'em coming - it's lovely!!! Aww shucks!!

Inpector Clouseau strikes again....

I got a phone call, out of the blue, yesterday from one of the managers at Healthier Weight. Apparently, a lady had written a letter to me about this blog and wanted to pass it on but didn't know how. This lady (who will probably be reading this) left the letter with Dr Ashton, my surgeon, who then passed it onto the practice manager and asked her to forward it to me. But of course, they don't have anyone on their books called Theresa...... let me explain.

I have never said much about my professional life. That's because I am desperate to avoid anyone I know in a professional capacity finding out about my band - rightly or wrongly - that's how I feel. As part of my job I have a web presence - in my professional name of course - including a personal web site as well as in the 'staff' pages of my employer. If I developed this blog in my proper name I imagined that one day, someone doing a search on the web for me in a professional capacity, might come across the blog. I had visions of bumping into somone at a conference and them saying "oh hello Theresa, I read all about your burping, and constipation, and saliva-pouring on your blog the other day - by the way, how's the work going?"!!!! Yuk!

I have also been a little afraid of my family finding the blog too. They know about the band now but in the beginning I wasn't going to tell them. Somehow, I feel comfortable being really honest about my band experiences with people that I don't know, but I'd feel really embarrassed if one of my brothers read some of this stuff!

Consequently, I have always used my middle name on the blog - Theresa. Ironically, as a child and teenager I always wanted to be called Theresa rather than my given name and now I am! In fact, I have continued to use Theresa as my name at the HW support groups and it's really nice being called what you want to be called for the first time in your life!!! So, back to HW. The manager who received the letter decided to become Inspector Clouseau for the day and worked out who I really was! I imagine it wasn't too difficult - this blog has all the details of when and where I was banded, and when all my fills took place. It wouldn't have been that difficult to narrow it down and identify the real me.

Anyway, the result is that this morning, I received the most wonderful letter through the post from a lady who has read the blog and found it "inspirational" (her word, not mine!) and helpful. She is having surgery very soon and I wish her all the best and hope that some of the experiences I have relayed here will help her and others like her. I don't claim to have all the answers (or even any of them!). I don't claim to be an expert on anything, other than what I am experiencing at any given point in time. I only know that before I took the decision to have surgery I read about other people's experiences through blogs and online forums and without their input would have found the decision-making much more difficult. Every so often I re-read the guidance manual that I was given by my provider. It's an excellent source of factual information and advice and generally keeps me on the straight and narrow (generally, I said!). But what it doesn't do, and can never do, is tell me about the huge breadth of day-to-day ups and downs experienced by fellow bandits. My experiences are not unique but we are all unique and the way that the band impacts upon our lives, our bodies and our minds is very individual. So, this is just my story. There are lots of others out there and they will all be different.

I find writing about it therapeutic, I hope you find it interesting and helpful (and even inspirational, ha ha!!).

To the lady who wrote the leter (I will e-mail you privately), THANK YOU for taking the trouble, THANK YOU for reading and THANK YOU for saying such kind things. All the best with your op.

Working for a compliment

I'm at work today, doing some extra duties with colleagues. I was walking along a corridor with one of my colleagues, one with whom I have had occasional 'difficulties'. He said, quietly, "I hope you don't mind me saying this, Theresa...." - and my heart sank. I imagined he was going to make some complaint about a contentious issue that had arisen in a difficult meeting we'd had yesterday. But to my immense surprise and amazement, what he actually said, was, "....you look fantastic!"

Wow! I was slightly speechless for one of the rare moments in my life. Then I summoned up "how could I possibly mind you saying that?!" I thanked him and he asked a couple of questions about how I was 'doing it' (i.e. losing weight, though the word 'weight' was not actually mentioned!) - doing exercise, healthy eating etc. He said he'd couldn't help noticing while sat across from me in the meeting yesterday and thinking "wow, she looks really different!".

Well, you know what? I wasn't particularly looking forward to having to come into work on a Saturday. But it was worth every ounce of effort it cost me just to hear such a wonderful compliment - and especially from someone with whom I have had a little tension. It goes to show, you just never know what people are really thinking.......

Four compliments in a day

I had a hair cut and coloured my hair at the weekend and today I got no less than four compliments from work colleagues referring to my weight loss! How weird is that? It's as though by changing my hair they can see more clearly that I've lost weight? My office mate commented that I'd lost weight (for him, this was a serious outpouring of emotion and affection - you know the type!). Another (also male) said that I looked really 'well', and really 'smart' (and was I going for an interview or something?!). A third (the only female) posted a message on my Facebook page saying that they'd seen me today and how great I looked. Finally, another male colleague was chatting to me about something else and hesitated as he turned to go. He turned back to me and said thoughtfully, "you're looking thinner!". Wow! I still cannot get over four comments in one day - I'm grinning like a Cheshire cat!