Showing posts with label Evans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evans. Show all posts

Saturday, August 15, 2009

More wardrobe clearing

The local charity shops are doing well out of me. I had another wardrobe clear-out last night. I did the last one only a couple of months ago and already I have accumulated another big heap of stuff that doesn't fit me anymore. I decided long ago that I wasn't going to be a pessimist and keep any of my 'too big' clothes any more - they're all going. As soon as they're too big - off with them!

I've still kept a couple of large blouses that I could wear in an 'emergency'. Emergency is here defined as a 'posh' event at work or a social activity that requires something smarter than a T-shirt or rugby shirt! Otherwise, there is very little remaining in my wardrobe now that the old me used to wear. I did find a few very old items that used to fit me years ago - and now do again! One was a pair of walking trousers that I actually used today - they're slightly baggy at the crutch but nothing that a good bit of hitching up won't cure! I also found an old favourite waistcoat - I used to be 'into' waistcoats in a big way and could never bring myself to dump this one.

The charity shop will soon be receiving two pairs of Evan's jeans - one brand new and complete with labels! They'll also be getting a couple of blouses and some other tops that now make me look like I've been engulfed in a tent. Talking of which, while playing around with clothes late last night, I reminded my other half that I'd kept one pair of trousers that fitted me when I weighed 20 stone. It's not that I ever expect to need to wear them again - I just thought it would be fun to keep them and see how big they were on me when I'm slim. I tried them on last night - and even I was absolutely horrified at how big I must have been for these to fit me. I could almost thread a hoop through the waistband, dye them yellow and pretend I was a clown! They are gross. But I guess, so was I.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Evans above

I'm off to the shops tomorrow morning to buy some new underwear - knickers, in particular (see earlier post on Underwear). Currently putting on my knickers in the morning brings recollections of hoisting up the sails on a sea-going dinghy! Although they fashionably reach high above the top of my trousers, they're a bit old and faded so they don't even look nice.

While I'm out I might even see what other goodies are available in the shops for me - I am actually wearing a size 20 pair of trousers for the first time in many years. Previously I have just about managed to squeeze into a 24. I've always been slightly smaller in size on the top (about 22 - now possibly 18-20). This means that some of the 'normal' shops (e.g. Marks and Spencer, BHS) actually become accessible to me now for the first time. For years I've had to suffer the indignity of shopping in Evans. For anyone unfamiliar with its gaudy, crude patternwear, Evans is where fat people go to buy clothes in England.

What is it about clothes designers that makes them imagine that people who are overweight somewhere along the way mislay the brain cells that enable sophistication, subtlety and refinement? They imagine overweight people to have developed a particular taste in the most horrific colour and pattern combinations known to Man. Patterns that would be more at home on the feathers of a peacock or the greater spotted pattern-snake?!

Anyhow, I guess you might detect that I am not a great fan of Evans. That said, in my desperate and unsuccessful searching, Evans has become the last resort of my clothes shopping over these past few years.

BUT NOT ANYMORE!

No more will I enter the doors to this primary colour and polyester paradise! From now on I will seek my fortune elsewhere!!