….falls mainly on the grain.
Basically, I'm in Spain for a week, working in the field. I was here at the same time last year and experienced the same problems with my band then as I'm experiencing now. It's got really tight, and I'm struggling to know why. It's taking me ages to drink anything, I've just tried to eat half a banana and had to rush to the toilet to throw up, I can't eat any bread at all, and I'm only managing soup and soft stuff in the evenings. But why? Here are some thoughts:
Flying: Last year, I thought it might be something to do with the flight - the cabin pressure or associated dehydration. But the only things I can find on the web about bands and flying are anecdotal, and relate only to long haul flights, so this doesn't seem likely.
Activity: I've been getting lots of exercise, but I get intense periods of exercise at other times of the year too and have no effects like this.
The food: I've not been having my usual breakfast (half a litre of strawberry milk-based protein shake), lunch is a huge white baguette with cheese or tuna and salad (I don't normally eat bread, and never white), and evening meals are 3-course, large, and very low in fat (I normally have a small, protein-rich meal with a 'normal' fat portion).
Drink: Earlier in the week there is no doubt that I got dehydrated, but for the past couple of days I've been working much harder to make sure I get enough to drink.
Climate: Last year it was very warm, but this year has been much cooler - more like typical British temperatures in October. So this doesn't seem likely.
Medication: I am taking methylphenidate for my ADHD and it is known to suppress appetite - but I wasn't taking this last year.
So the most likely thing seems to be the change in my food and drink habits. I'll be back here again next year and I'm not sure what I can do to change things, to be honest. However, on the plus side, although I'm suffering a little at the moment, this glitch may result in kick-starting some more weight loss….
Last year, I arrived in Spain weighing 17st and 3lbs. I arrived home after one week sighing ten pounds less. Then, without any particular effort on my part, I lost a further 22lbs over the following six months or so. So when I arrived in Spain this year, I weighed 14st and 13 lbs. The way I am feeling at the moment, I will not be that weight when I get home tomorrow. And who knows, maybe the loss will keep coming?
Showing posts with label Weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weight. Show all posts
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
After 4.5 years it's finally working how it should!
Since my last post in November things have changed somewhat. We moved house in December, Christmas was upon us, and then I went on a field trip to Spain with a group of students. Although I'd eaten a fair bit over Christmas - who doesn't! - something happened on that field trip..... I just struggled to eat the food they provided. Granted, there was a lot of stodgy, high carb food (ideal for teenage boys on fieldwork, but not great for a bandit!), but do you know what, I could hardly be bothered to eat! I came back half a stone lighter after one week away, and the trend has continued ever since. Slowly, but steadily I have continued to lose weight without really trying. It's as though my brain has finally caught up with my body. I need to explain that don't I?! All my life my body has screamed out 'you're not hungry, you're full, you don't need to eat any more'. But my brain - I'm guessing the emotional bit - has argued back 'yes I do NEED this food'.
For the past six months I just haven't been that bothered about food, for the first time in my life. In fact, also for the first time in my life, I have experienced actually being hungry on quite a few occasions! I'm getting great restriction and there is no way I need another fill, my band is working just fine as it is. In fact, I think that for the first time in the 4.5 years that me and Mr Band have been awkward housemates, we are finally starting to get along.
I've more or less given up eating bread all together and I really struggle with stodgy stuff like rice, pasta and potatoes - unless it's either (a) quite late in the day, or (b) has lots of sauce or fatty stuff with it. I rarely eat anything solid before about 2pm (I have a protein shake for breakfast and often have soup for lunch). However, I find I can eat quite a bit in the evening.
My only real challenge now is to try to swap the odd biscuits and cakes for fruit or something a bit healthier. But I've decided not to beat myself up about it too much, after all, I'm losing weight slowly (about 31 pounds since Christmas) and not having to work too hard at it!
For the past six months I just haven't been that bothered about food, for the first time in my life. In fact, also for the first time in my life, I have experienced actually being hungry on quite a few occasions! I'm getting great restriction and there is no way I need another fill, my band is working just fine as it is. In fact, I think that for the first time in the 4.5 years that me and Mr Band have been awkward housemates, we are finally starting to get along.
I've more or less given up eating bread all together and I really struggle with stodgy stuff like rice, pasta and potatoes - unless it's either (a) quite late in the day, or (b) has lots of sauce or fatty stuff with it. I rarely eat anything solid before about 2pm (I have a protein shake for breakfast and often have soup for lunch). However, I find I can eat quite a bit in the evening.
My only real challenge now is to try to swap the odd biscuits and cakes for fruit or something a bit healthier. But I've decided not to beat myself up about it too much, after all, I'm losing weight slowly (about 31 pounds since Christmas) and not having to work too hard at it!
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Getting more restriction now
Had another fill yesterday, of 1.4ml, taking me to 6.4ml now. I was pleasantly surprised to discover, when I got to the clinic, that the lady who filled me last time wasn't there (see my last post for an explanation!). Instead, it was the senior nurse who has seen me on and off for the last four years, and I've every confidence in her. The fill went extremely smoothly and I've no had adverse side-effects like last time. Phew! I've been on fluids and very soft foods since so it's difficult to tell exactly how much restriction I've now got. However, I definitely feel more restriction than I did before, but I suspect I will need another fill or two before I'm at optimum. With Christmas, and a house-move coming up, I'll probably wait until the New Year before going for my next fill.
I will be pleased to get some more restriction though, because I've been really struggling to control my eating over the last few weeks and have steadily been gaining a few pounds. It's such a shame because after a long time of struggling I had actually begun to start making some real progress earlier this year.
For now, my plan is simply to try to re-gain all those good habits - eating slowly, eating crunchy, healthy foods, controlling portion size, eating with a small fork (yes, really), and keeping a food diary. I'll let you know how I get on!
I will be pleased to get some more restriction though, because I've been really struggling to control my eating over the last few weeks and have steadily been gaining a few pounds. It's such a shame because after a long time of struggling I had actually begun to start making some real progress earlier this year.
For now, my plan is simply to try to re-gain all those good habits - eating slowly, eating crunchy, healthy foods, controlling portion size, eating with a small fork (yes, really), and keeping a food diary. I'll let you know how I get on!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Mr Tortoise gets a PB!
I was looking at my tickerfactory.com banner this morning and it occurred to me that I had selected the right icon - a tortoise - as the slide bar! I recall when I first got banded and discovered lots of fellow bandits had their own ticker factory banner. I remember thinking that some people didn't appear to have made that much progress over a period of time. And four years on, I am one of those people! I've lost 55lbs in four years and still had about 80-something pounds to go. But that got me thinking about my target - is 10 stone and 5 lbs really realistic for me anymore?
Other than when I briefly passed by that weight as a growing teenager, I've only been that weight once in my life. I was aged 23 and was running 40 miles per week! I went through a two year phase of being addicted to running, entering competitions, and achieving personal best after personal best. [as an aside, I was going to put PB instead of personal best, but nowadays that means something different to us bandits!!!]. At the time I was eating loads, but burning it all off, of course. Then I got injured and the running had to stop - but unfortunately the eating didn't.
So anyway, I've concluded that 145lbs is wishful thinking to the point of silliness. I'm 5ft 8ins and have a large frame (bone structure, I mean) - so it just isn't going to happen. So, I've changed my target weight to 12 stone. I've been there once or twice before and have been quite happy with my look and feel. If I ever get there again, I can think then about whether a lower target is realistic.
But for now, I've amended my target on the ticker, and Mr Tortoise has just had a surge of energy and belted along the race track - and he's now almost a the half way point! Cheered me up anyway!
Other than when I briefly passed by that weight as a growing teenager, I've only been that weight once in my life. I was aged 23 and was running 40 miles per week! I went through a two year phase of being addicted to running, entering competitions, and achieving personal best after personal best. [as an aside, I was going to put PB instead of personal best, but nowadays that means something different to us bandits!!!]. At the time I was eating loads, but burning it all off, of course. Then I got injured and the running had to stop - but unfortunately the eating didn't.
So anyway, I've concluded that 145lbs is wishful thinking to the point of silliness. I'm 5ft 8ins and have a large frame (bone structure, I mean) - so it just isn't going to happen. So, I've changed my target weight to 12 stone. I've been there once or twice before and have been quite happy with my look and feel. If I ever get there again, I can think then about whether a lower target is realistic.
But for now, I've amended my target on the ticker, and Mr Tortoise has just had a surge of energy and belted along the race track - and he's now almost a the half way point! Cheered me up anyway!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Sparkling insight
One of the comments on a post a few days ago, generously contributed by Sparkler, demonstrated incredible insight into some aspects of my predicament. I'm going to address them one by one and see where it takes me:
This is a really tough time in the journey...all the newness has worn off, you're nearly there so you're probably pretty comfortable with your weight right now, so the urgency has dropped.
That is SOoooo right. Truth is, if I didn't lose another pound - I'd be a little disappointed but I wouldn't be devastated, because the worst of the weight has gone. I started at 20 stone, I now weigh about 12 and a half. I'd like to be ten and a half - but I'm thin enough that I can walk, jog, swim - and all with relative comfort. I can buy 'normal' clothes in 'normal' shops for the first time in my adult life and so the urgency has gone. Spot on Sparkler. But when I sit down and really think about it - I don't want to settle for this - it is less than I wanted when I started out and I want better. I am not looking for perfection but I do want to be in control of my eating and my weight. No, I wouldn't be devastated if I didn't lose another pound, but I don't think I would look upon my band experience as a complete success either.
Everything about the band is so familiar which means it doesn't take much thinking about.
Yes, you're right again. But this is the problem. I often THINK it doesn't need thinking about because it's so familiar - but actually it does. For example, I thought I'd 'cracked' the think about not drinking after eating - I thought it had become second nature. But in the last few months I have got back into bad habits again. Also, I have had more slime and regurgitation events in the last few months than I've ever had. This is not because my band is too tight - it's because sometimes I just forget it is there and get back to old eating habits (eating too much, too quick, the wrong type of food, eating while distracted etc). I probably need to get out my old 'band manual' and re-read it again from start to finish and keep on reminding myself that I have a little friend inside me - and it's going to be there for life....
I'd be interested to hear what your restriction is like now on an average day. Do you still eat the same small portion sizes or are you able to eat more at a sitting? Do you still have certain foods that are a no-go area? What's it like once it all becomes routine, mundane and everyday?
When I make good food choices I have excellent 'sweet spot' restriction. My meals are small and they fill me up. I can't guzzle a drink down fast like I used to but have to take it in smaller mouthfuls and slowly. I'm much more restricted in the morning and can't really eat much till mid-morning. IF (and it's a big IF) I don't eat chocolate and other 'bad' foods, I exist very happily on about 1200 calories a day and don't feel physically hungry at all. There's no sign of my band getting looser. There are very fews that are a no-go area - mainly chips (French fries), very fatty foods like battered fish (chip-shop style), and the skins of cherry tomatoes and grapes! I avoid white bread but can easily eat whoolemeal bread (though not in large quantity). Many of the things that I used to perceive as big problems or difficulties - just aren't! I can eat out but do so very cautiously. So far I have avoided having any embarrassing incidents while eating out and would like it to remain that way!
Good luck with getting that focus back to fight off that last stubborn stone and a half. Actually having a break from the strict regime probably won't do you any harm as once you get back to your walking and cut out the lovely but lethal chocolate you'll be like a new dieter who has a really rewarding first three weeks or so. A post-Easter resolution perhaps?
You may be right about having a break from the strict regime but I think I need to get back to it soon. Now that work has eased off I am finding time to get back to some exercise - walking, stepping and swimming mainly. I think you are right - I will wait until I am firmly back in the UK after my trip and then set a date to kick-start my band-life.
Many thanks for your insight and encouragement!
This is a really tough time in the journey...all the newness has worn off, you're nearly there so you're probably pretty comfortable with your weight right now, so the urgency has dropped.
That is SOoooo right. Truth is, if I didn't lose another pound - I'd be a little disappointed but I wouldn't be devastated, because the worst of the weight has gone. I started at 20 stone, I now weigh about 12 and a half. I'd like to be ten and a half - but I'm thin enough that I can walk, jog, swim - and all with relative comfort. I can buy 'normal' clothes in 'normal' shops for the first time in my adult life and so the urgency has gone. Spot on Sparkler. But when I sit down and really think about it - I don't want to settle for this - it is less than I wanted when I started out and I want better. I am not looking for perfection but I do want to be in control of my eating and my weight. No, I wouldn't be devastated if I didn't lose another pound, but I don't think I would look upon my band experience as a complete success either.
Everything about the band is so familiar which means it doesn't take much thinking about.
Yes, you're right again. But this is the problem. I often THINK it doesn't need thinking about because it's so familiar - but actually it does. For example, I thought I'd 'cracked' the think about not drinking after eating - I thought it had become second nature. But in the last few months I have got back into bad habits again. Also, I have had more slime and regurgitation events in the last few months than I've ever had. This is not because my band is too tight - it's because sometimes I just forget it is there and get back to old eating habits (eating too much, too quick, the wrong type of food, eating while distracted etc). I probably need to get out my old 'band manual' and re-read it again from start to finish and keep on reminding myself that I have a little friend inside me - and it's going to be there for life....
I'd be interested to hear what your restriction is like now on an average day. Do you still eat the same small portion sizes or are you able to eat more at a sitting? Do you still have certain foods that are a no-go area? What's it like once it all becomes routine, mundane and everyday?
When I make good food choices I have excellent 'sweet spot' restriction. My meals are small and they fill me up. I can't guzzle a drink down fast like I used to but have to take it in smaller mouthfuls and slowly. I'm much more restricted in the morning and can't really eat much till mid-morning. IF (and it's a big IF) I don't eat chocolate and other 'bad' foods, I exist very happily on about 1200 calories a day and don't feel physically hungry at all. There's no sign of my band getting looser. There are very fews that are a no-go area - mainly chips (French fries), very fatty foods like battered fish (chip-shop style), and the skins of cherry tomatoes and grapes! I avoid white bread but can easily eat whoolemeal bread (though not in large quantity). Many of the things that I used to perceive as big problems or difficulties - just aren't! I can eat out but do so very cautiously. So far I have avoided having any embarrassing incidents while eating out and would like it to remain that way!
Good luck with getting that focus back to fight off that last stubborn stone and a half. Actually having a break from the strict regime probably won't do you any harm as once you get back to your walking and cut out the lovely but lethal chocolate you'll be like a new dieter who has a really rewarding first three weeks or so. A post-Easter resolution perhaps?
You may be right about having a break from the strict regime but I think I need to get back to it soon. Now that work has eased off I am finding time to get back to some exercise - walking, stepping and swimming mainly. I think you are right - I will wait until I am firmly back in the UK after my trip and then set a date to kick-start my band-life.
Many thanks for your insight and encouragement!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Back to bandland
Hello everybody - it's been a while! As I sit here wondering what to type, I look back on the past few months and ask myself what has happened? Why have I deserted my blog? It's not just the blog, I have also rarely visited the UKGastricBand forum in the last couple of months - which previously I had visited several times a day. I also kept a food diary - yes, that book in the kitchen that hasn't been touched for a couple of months now. I religiously weighed myself every morning - and now it's once or twice a week - if I dare. If I look through my cupboards in the kitchen, I notice some old favourites have crept back in - bottles of Diet Coke, and the dreaded chocolate. And yes, I know it's Easter, and we can all be forgiven a little luxuriating in the brown stuff at this time of year - but I've hardly stopped eating the stuff for weeks now.
So I ask again - what's going on? I think it's a combination of things - there's no straightforward answer. Here's a few stabs at what is going wrong:
1. The 'light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel' blues. Looking at the UKGB forum, it's clear that this doesn't only apply to me. As we get closer to our goal weight - that elusive target that for the first time actually appears reachable - it somehow remains just out of our grasp. I've lost nearly eight stone and have a relatively paltry one-and-a-half left to go - yet it's the hardest few pounds of the lot. I've made all of the major changes to portion sizes, exercise, bad habits (though some have crept back in) - so every ounce now needs a monumental effort to lose. The result is, frustration begins to set in - and in my case - that leads to stress - which is relieved through eating. Back to the vicious circle.
2. Workaholicism (is that a new word I've invented?!). I know I can't blame everything on work - but this really has been the hardest extended period at work I've ever experienced. Since late August 2009 until the beginning of March this year - it has just been bedlam. I've literally done nothing but work, work, and work. Exercise has all but disappeared from my life, as has any social life, family life and relaxation. Don't get me wrong - I still manage to watch the goggle box from time to time - but it's not so much relaxation as complete collapse! On the bright side, work has definitely got better in the last three or four weeks and should remain so until the real pressure begins all over again in September (!). But I'm making the most of it and have already begun getting back on the exercise treadmill (not literally).
3. Chocaholicism (another new word). Mmm, yes, not sure how to lick this one (another awful pun!). I am clearly addicted to chocolate. Apparently it's not possible to be physiologically addicted to chocolate in the way that you can be addicted to drugs, caffeine, nicotine etc. But it IS possible to be emotionally addicted to chocolate - and I am. I actually booked an appointment with a hypnotherapist some weeks back, but then bottled out at the last minute and cancelled it! Having re-thought this - I'm going to have another go in the next few weeks definitely - what's the worst it can do? And it might actually help.
4. No longer a newbie. Sometimes I look on the UKGB forum and see the same old questions being posed by newbies - the questions I posed myself when I first started out on this journey. I answer questions occasionally but I'm not really sure what I can offer anymore. It's the same with this blog. I've probably said all of the really important things and I sometimes think can I really add anything useful anymore? However, one thing that strikes me, is that there is relatively little written on the web by long term bandits. I'd love to know what it's like to be bandit three or five or ten years on. It's also clear to me that the struggles I'm going through now are not the same as those I experienced earlier in my journey. That probably makes it worthwhile continuing to write. However, I'm aware that new bandits, or people thinking about getting banded, don't necessarily want to read about longer term bandits who are struggling and facing all sorts of problems. I'd hate to put anyone off - because whatever struggles I am facing now - I would not change one step of my band journey. If I time-travelled back to the start of my journey, knowing what I know now - I couldn't change a thing. It's been the best thing I ever did in my life.
So, there are several reasons why I will begin to write again - because I now have more time back to myself, because I still think it may help longer term bandits (and help newbies to better informed about the ups and downs of banding), and because I need to give myself some therapy. What's that last point I hear you ask? Well, I know that many of you have enjoyed reading my blog because you've told me so - and that's great. But it's also therapy for me. It's when I'm writing, or thinking about what to write, that I often make important breakthroughs in my own thinking, planning and behaviour analysis. Even as I write this, it has been brought home to me that I have drifted away from some of the cornerstones of my weight loss success so far - my food diary, daily blogging, daily trips to UKGB forum, and generally immersing myself in day-to-day thoughts, facts, ideas about weight loss, exercise, environmental control, habits, portion sizes, calorie counting and the rest. It's as though I've forgotten all of this - it has been put to one side for more important things to take its place. But what is more important than feeling good about oneself, being healthy and fit, looking good, having a respectable level of self esteem, and being able to wear great clothes?!
So, there are lots of reasons why I've been silent for a while but probably as many reasons why I need to get back on the case and start to get serious about my band, my eating, my exercise, and above all - sharing again. Thank you for staying with me.
Oh, and I'm seriously thinking about 'coming out' - watch this space.
So I ask again - what's going on? I think it's a combination of things - there's no straightforward answer. Here's a few stabs at what is going wrong:
1. The 'light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel' blues. Looking at the UKGB forum, it's clear that this doesn't only apply to me. As we get closer to our goal weight - that elusive target that for the first time actually appears reachable - it somehow remains just out of our grasp. I've lost nearly eight stone and have a relatively paltry one-and-a-half left to go - yet it's the hardest few pounds of the lot. I've made all of the major changes to portion sizes, exercise, bad habits (though some have crept back in) - so every ounce now needs a monumental effort to lose. The result is, frustration begins to set in - and in my case - that leads to stress - which is relieved through eating. Back to the vicious circle.
2. Workaholicism (is that a new word I've invented?!). I know I can't blame everything on work - but this really has been the hardest extended period at work I've ever experienced. Since late August 2009 until the beginning of March this year - it has just been bedlam. I've literally done nothing but work, work, and work. Exercise has all but disappeared from my life, as has any social life, family life and relaxation. Don't get me wrong - I still manage to watch the goggle box from time to time - but it's not so much relaxation as complete collapse! On the bright side, work has definitely got better in the last three or four weeks and should remain so until the real pressure begins all over again in September (!). But I'm making the most of it and have already begun getting back on the exercise treadmill (not literally).
3. Chocaholicism (another new word). Mmm, yes, not sure how to lick this one (another awful pun!). I am clearly addicted to chocolate. Apparently it's not possible to be physiologically addicted to chocolate in the way that you can be addicted to drugs, caffeine, nicotine etc. But it IS possible to be emotionally addicted to chocolate - and I am. I actually booked an appointment with a hypnotherapist some weeks back, but then bottled out at the last minute and cancelled it! Having re-thought this - I'm going to have another go in the next few weeks definitely - what's the worst it can do? And it might actually help.
4. No longer a newbie. Sometimes I look on the UKGB forum and see the same old questions being posed by newbies - the questions I posed myself when I first started out on this journey. I answer questions occasionally but I'm not really sure what I can offer anymore. It's the same with this blog. I've probably said all of the really important things and I sometimes think can I really add anything useful anymore? However, one thing that strikes me, is that there is relatively little written on the web by long term bandits. I'd love to know what it's like to be bandit three or five or ten years on. It's also clear to me that the struggles I'm going through now are not the same as those I experienced earlier in my journey. That probably makes it worthwhile continuing to write. However, I'm aware that new bandits, or people thinking about getting banded, don't necessarily want to read about longer term bandits who are struggling and facing all sorts of problems. I'd hate to put anyone off - because whatever struggles I am facing now - I would not change one step of my band journey. If I time-travelled back to the start of my journey, knowing what I know now - I couldn't change a thing. It's been the best thing I ever did in my life.
So, there are several reasons why I will begin to write again - because I now have more time back to myself, because I still think it may help longer term bandits (and help newbies to better informed about the ups and downs of banding), and because I need to give myself some therapy. What's that last point I hear you ask? Well, I know that many of you have enjoyed reading my blog because you've told me so - and that's great. But it's also therapy for me. It's when I'm writing, or thinking about what to write, that I often make important breakthroughs in my own thinking, planning and behaviour analysis. Even as I write this, it has been brought home to me that I have drifted away from some of the cornerstones of my weight loss success so far - my food diary, daily blogging, daily trips to UKGB forum, and generally immersing myself in day-to-day thoughts, facts, ideas about weight loss, exercise, environmental control, habits, portion sizes, calorie counting and the rest. It's as though I've forgotten all of this - it has been put to one side for more important things to take its place. But what is more important than feeling good about oneself, being healthy and fit, looking good, having a respectable level of self esteem, and being able to wear great clothes?!
So, there are lots of reasons why I've been silent for a while but probably as many reasons why I need to get back on the case and start to get serious about my band, my eating, my exercise, and above all - sharing again. Thank you for staying with me.
Oh, and I'm seriously thinking about 'coming out' - watch this space.
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Thursday, January 21, 2010
Fat Man Slim
This evening I watched a documentary on Sky Three called Fat Man Slim. It was about an obese, 40 year old successful businessman who decided to change his life. He weighed 26.5 stone and vowed to lose 6 stone in 12 months. He also gave up work for a year so that he and his wife could focus on weight loss, health and fitness. In the event, he lost that amount in the first six months. He did it with his wife by eating non-processed goods, lots of fruit and veg, and doing lots of exercise.
After achieving his one year target in six months he set a new target to lose another 20kg in the last six months. With two months to go he had just 5kg to go, so he changed it to 10kg because that would have added up to a total of ten stone for the year! He achieved his ten stone goal after one year. Amazing. This is a guy with bucketloads of determination. To continue losing weight at this rate he was going to the gym twice a day, five times a week, and eating three small meals a day.
It was fascinating to see him go through the same clothes stages that I did - first they wouldn't fit, then they would, they they were too big!
At the end of his journey his whole face appeared so much thinner and he looked younger and basically fab. Seeing a whole year condensed into an hour offered a fascinating insight into the way that the body can change, given the right treatment. The man, known as 'Squeeze' (!) said that over the year he passed through five emotional phases:
Shame
Guilt
Anger
Acceptance
Recovery process
He talked about the inner battle he has had with himself - not just in the past year but always - and not just about weight but with most things. He talked about how he has learnt how to manage this 'inner battle'. The layers of emotional baggage, fat, and constant over-compensation (e.g. for his weight, lack of fitness and self-worth) - they are all gone now. All that's left is him. On the one hand this is great because he's now just himself, but it's also a little scary.
There was a fascinating meeting with his doctor at about the four month point. The doctor asked him how he was, what he thought of himself having lost so much weight? His response? "I loathe myself less". The doctor was a little taken aback and obviously had no real understanding of the self-loathing and low self-esteem issues faced by many obese people. The doctor afterwards said to the camera that it was surprising that despite all of his successes in life - work, home, marriage - he doesn't have a very high opinion of himself. I can relate to this totally.
Squeeze said that it's not until you admit you have a problem and commit yourself to changing things, that you start to seriously think about how you see yourself. Maybe you're not so aware of self-loathing before, or perhaps you just bury it. He talked about how he was always seen as the fat fool, disguising inner struggles with humour and bravado: "Bravado is a wonderful tool for divorcing yourself from your situation and I used it in spades".
And finally, some advice for weight losers who start to get over-confident: "Whenever I started feeling cocky I would stand in front of a full length mirror and jump up and down stark-b*****k naked. Believe me - that's motivation!"
After achieving his one year target in six months he set a new target to lose another 20kg in the last six months. With two months to go he had just 5kg to go, so he changed it to 10kg because that would have added up to a total of ten stone for the year! He achieved his ten stone goal after one year. Amazing. This is a guy with bucketloads of determination. To continue losing weight at this rate he was going to the gym twice a day, five times a week, and eating three small meals a day.
It was fascinating to see him go through the same clothes stages that I did - first they wouldn't fit, then they would, they they were too big!
At the end of his journey his whole face appeared so much thinner and he looked younger and basically fab. Seeing a whole year condensed into an hour offered a fascinating insight into the way that the body can change, given the right treatment. The man, known as 'Squeeze' (!) said that over the year he passed through five emotional phases:
Shame
Guilt
Anger
Acceptance
Recovery process
He talked about the inner battle he has had with himself - not just in the past year but always - and not just about weight but with most things. He talked about how he has learnt how to manage this 'inner battle'. The layers of emotional baggage, fat, and constant over-compensation (e.g. for his weight, lack of fitness and self-worth) - they are all gone now. All that's left is him. On the one hand this is great because he's now just himself, but it's also a little scary.
There was a fascinating meeting with his doctor at about the four month point. The doctor asked him how he was, what he thought of himself having lost so much weight? His response? "I loathe myself less". The doctor was a little taken aback and obviously had no real understanding of the self-loathing and low self-esteem issues faced by many obese people. The doctor afterwards said to the camera that it was surprising that despite all of his successes in life - work, home, marriage - he doesn't have a very high opinion of himself. I can relate to this totally.
Squeeze said that it's not until you admit you have a problem and commit yourself to changing things, that you start to seriously think about how you see yourself. Maybe you're not so aware of self-loathing before, or perhaps you just bury it. He talked about how he was always seen as the fat fool, disguising inner struggles with humour and bravado: "Bravado is a wonderful tool for divorcing yourself from your situation and I used it in spades".
And finally, some advice for weight losers who start to get over-confident: "Whenever I started feeling cocky I would stand in front of a full length mirror and jump up and down stark-b*****k naked. Believe me - that's motivation!"
Saturday, January 16, 2010
How many calories per day?
Thanks to another bandit who posted on the UKGastricBand forum, I've discovered a web site called Calories Count. It has a useful tool for calculating the number of calories required for weight maintenance, but I also found a calculator for determining the number of daily calories required for weight loss. I entered my height, weight and age, and said I was lightly active. This is what it said: Current weight 168lbs; healthy weight range 123-161lbs; activity level - lightly active. Current BMI: 25.9 Healthy BMI range: 18.5 - 24.9.
Daily calorie level to maintain current weight: 1989 calories.
To lose weight: 1489 calories.
"Please note you should not go below 1400 calories per day, as this is the minimum amount necessary to meet your daily nutrient requirements. If the calorie level determined for you is below 1400 calories, you may want to consider increasing your exercise. However, if you are unable to do that, you will still lose weight, it will just be at a slower pace (approximately 1/2 pound or .25 kg per week)."
"To lose one pound (.5 kg) a week, a person must burn 3,500 calories more than are consumed (500 calories per day over the course of a week)."
This is good news for me because I have been really struggling to maintain a 1200 calorie a day intake. I manage it on some days, and sometimes even have less. But on other days it seems woefully inadequate and I end up eating loads more. If I stick to about 1489 per day, then according to this web site, I should still lose one pound per week. I think that at this stage in the weight loss process (i.e. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel), it's no bad thing to increase my daily intake and try to be a bit more consistent - this should help when I get to the point of having to maintain.
Daily calorie level to maintain current weight: 1989 calories.
To lose weight: 1489 calories.
"Please note you should not go below 1400 calories per day, as this is the minimum amount necessary to meet your daily nutrient requirements. If the calorie level determined for you is below 1400 calories, you may want to consider increasing your exercise. However, if you are unable to do that, you will still lose weight, it will just be at a slower pace (approximately 1/2 pound or .25 kg per week)."
"To lose one pound (.5 kg) a week, a person must burn 3,500 calories more than are consumed (500 calories per day over the course of a week)."
This is good news for me because I have been really struggling to maintain a 1200 calorie a day intake. I manage it on some days, and sometimes even have less. But on other days it seems woefully inadequate and I end up eating loads more. If I stick to about 1489 per day, then according to this web site, I should still lose one pound per week. I think that at this stage in the weight loss process (i.e. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel), it's no bad thing to increase my daily intake and try to be a bit more consistent - this should help when I get to the point of having to maintain.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Working with my band
Here is the essence of what I replied to an anonymous comment - you may find it useful:
Stretching your pouch: If you eat very slowly, which is what we are advised to do, then food will gradually pass from the upper pouch into the lower, main stomach. However, if you eat too quickly, or eat too much in one go, there is a small danger of stretching the pouch. This is usually temporary but if serious this can lead to band slippage. However, long before you get to the point of stretching your pouch it is likely that you would experience pain (often referred to by bandits as 'iron fist') behind the breastbone - this is your body's way of warning you that you should slow down when eating!
Anti-hunger pills: The whole point of the band is that by retaining food in the upper pouch, you 'trick' your brain into thinking that you are full, and so don't feel hungry. Therefore, if you work with the band, you shouldn't feel hungry and there should be no need to use additional drugs or supplements to reduce hunger. Personally, I would never use Reducteel or anything similar - I have paid a lot of money to have gastric band surgery and am determined to work with it.
The band and liquids: The band does not restrict liquids at all and we are always encouraged to drink plenty - therefore you should never experience thirst with the band - you can drink as much as you want (however, try to drink calorie-free drinks).
Dealing with hunger: I can honestly say that I have rarely experienced real hunger in my entire life. However, the biggest difficulty that many obese people experience is not real hunger, but what we often refer to as 'head hunger'. In other words - emotional hunger. This is something that the band cannot deal with. As a result of my emotional craving for food, yes, I have eaten loads on occasions, including binge-eating of chocolate. However, most of the foods we eat when over-eating and binging are foods that slip through the band easily anyway (e.g. chocolate, cakes, biscuits, crisps, fast food etc). Therefore, these foods generally don't increase the risk of pouch stretching - but of course they increase all sorts of other health risks.
Advice for new bandits: I think the important thing for a newly-banded person is to find out as much as you can about the band and how it is supposed to work - ideally from medically-trained people. The band will only do 30% of the work in weight loss - we have to work with the band to achieve the other 70% of effort necessary. This is far from easy and requires a considerable effort and commitment on our part. I've fallen flat on my face many times in my band journey because of my own weakness and lack of self-control, but at the same time I know that my band is my friend and if I work with it, it is a friend indeed.
As with all of the things I post on this blog, this is all just my opinion, based on my own research and most importantly, my experience. We all have very different bodies, needs, personalities and histories, so my experience may not be the same as yours! Always try to get support and advice from your band provider, dietician or bariatric nurse.
Stretching your pouch: If you eat very slowly, which is what we are advised to do, then food will gradually pass from the upper pouch into the lower, main stomach. However, if you eat too quickly, or eat too much in one go, there is a small danger of stretching the pouch. This is usually temporary but if serious this can lead to band slippage. However, long before you get to the point of stretching your pouch it is likely that you would experience pain (often referred to by bandits as 'iron fist') behind the breastbone - this is your body's way of warning you that you should slow down when eating!
Anti-hunger pills: The whole point of the band is that by retaining food in the upper pouch, you 'trick' your brain into thinking that you are full, and so don't feel hungry. Therefore, if you work with the band, you shouldn't feel hungry and there should be no need to use additional drugs or supplements to reduce hunger. Personally, I would never use Reducteel or anything similar - I have paid a lot of money to have gastric band surgery and am determined to work with it.
The band and liquids: The band does not restrict liquids at all and we are always encouraged to drink plenty - therefore you should never experience thirst with the band - you can drink as much as you want (however, try to drink calorie-free drinks).
Dealing with hunger: I can honestly say that I have rarely experienced real hunger in my entire life. However, the biggest difficulty that many obese people experience is not real hunger, but what we often refer to as 'head hunger'. In other words - emotional hunger. This is something that the band cannot deal with. As a result of my emotional craving for food, yes, I have eaten loads on occasions, including binge-eating of chocolate. However, most of the foods we eat when over-eating and binging are foods that slip through the band easily anyway (e.g. chocolate, cakes, biscuits, crisps, fast food etc). Therefore, these foods generally don't increase the risk of pouch stretching - but of course they increase all sorts of other health risks.
Advice for new bandits: I think the important thing for a newly-banded person is to find out as much as you can about the band and how it is supposed to work - ideally from medically-trained people. The band will only do 30% of the work in weight loss - we have to work with the band to achieve the other 70% of effort necessary. This is far from easy and requires a considerable effort and commitment on our part. I've fallen flat on my face many times in my band journey because of my own weakness and lack of self-control, but at the same time I know that my band is my friend and if I work with it, it is a friend indeed.
As with all of the things I post on this blog, this is all just my opinion, based on my own research and most importantly, my experience. We all have very different bodies, needs, personalities and histories, so my experience may not be the same as yours! Always try to get support and advice from your band provider, dietician or bariatric nurse.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
A long Sunday walk
We completed the route in semi-darkness and wound our weary way home. Too tired to cook, we defeated some of the calorie-burning achieved by opting for a Chinese takeaway!! I think I have a beter idea now, of the enormity of the challenges I have set myself this year. In addition to completing this 214 challenge, it is also my intention to reach my goal weight - some 22 pounds from my current weight. Although this may seem small amount compared to what I have already lost, it is turning out to be SOooo much harder to shift. Just to make things even more difficult for myself, I also hope, by the end of the year, to have begun the process of removing some of my excess skin - as time goes on I am more convinced of the need for at least two lots of surgery to correct this.
So here we go, hold on for the roller coaster ride that is sure to be 2010!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Kerry (Kegs) and Mahhi
Hiya both! Thanks for your comments added to my last but one post - I had problems replying directly to those comments so have added my response here as a new post. It's probably ideal anyway because my sentiments apply to anyone struggling with weight loss:
And a very happy christmas to you too, and a new year filled with weight loss and self control - and may all your portions be small ones!
All the best to you in 2010. I truly hope that this time next year, we'll all be skinny and waif-like!!
Theresa x x
And a very happy christmas to you too, and a new year filled with weight loss and self control - and may all your portions be small ones!
All the best to you in 2010. I truly hope that this time next year, we'll all be skinny and waif-like!!
Theresa x x
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Metabolic rate and muscle mass
Heres my response to Yana who commented on my previous post - I tried to post it as a comment but had a temporary glitch. So here it us for everyone!
Hi Yana,
You are absolutely correct with your figures - as we lose weight we need less calories. However, muscle needs more calories per gramme to function than the equivalent weight in fat or other body tissues. This means that if, as you lose weight, you do a lot of exercise and build up muscle mass, your metabolic rate increases a little. Using your hypothetical numbers, if you lose weight from 300 to 200lbs and your metabolic rate drops from 3000 to 2000 - you then do loads of exercise over a period of months and increase muscle mass. Assuming your weight stays at 200lbs, your metabolic rate increases to, say, 2300 calories. If you still continue to consume the same amount of calories as you did before increasing muscle mass, then you will lose weight at a slightly faster rate. This was what I meant when I said I was using my calories more effectively - sorry it wasn't that clear but sometimes my head kind of tips out ideas onto the screen before they've been thought through properly!! Hope that helps!
Trees x
Hi Yana,
You are absolutely correct with your figures - as we lose weight we need less calories. However, muscle needs more calories per gramme to function than the equivalent weight in fat or other body tissues. This means that if, as you lose weight, you do a lot of exercise and build up muscle mass, your metabolic rate increases a little. Using your hypothetical numbers, if you lose weight from 300 to 200lbs and your metabolic rate drops from 3000 to 2000 - you then do loads of exercise over a period of months and increase muscle mass. Assuming your weight stays at 200lbs, your metabolic rate increases to, say, 2300 calories. If you still continue to consume the same amount of calories as you did before increasing muscle mass, then you will lose weight at a slightly faster rate. This was what I meant when I said I was using my calories more effectively - sorry it wasn't that clear but sometimes my head kind of tips out ideas onto the screen before they've been thought through properly!! Hope that helps!
Trees x
Monday, November 16, 2009
Why I've not gained weight
I recently responded to a post on the UKGastricBand forum to someone who was asking how to get the self control needed to overcome the desire to eat chocolate and other unhealthy things. I've copied some of my response below. Some of these things I have said on here before, but thinking about it helped me put into perspective exactly why I hadn't gained weight during some of the bad times I've experienced in recent months.
"I am a self-confessed emotional eater and complete chocaholic and yet I've lost nearly 8 stone (if I can do it - anyone can!!!). When things in life are going well, my desire to eat chocolate and other bad stuff just goes - and if anything, I crave good, nutritious, healthy foods. During these times I lose weight. However, when life is difficult, as it has been for me over the past 2-3 months (work pressures), I utterly crave chocolate. Over the past 2-3 months I have regularly (i.e. every 2-3 days) binged on chocolate. By that, I mean, I've gone out and bought 6-7 bars of chocolate and eaten my way through all of them in an evening. On top of that I've eaten cheese sandwiches (cheese comes second to chocolate in my head), muffins, iced buns and all sorts of other rubbish.
HOWEVER (this is the good bit) - during these times I have NOT GAINED any weight! This is because:
"I am a self-confessed emotional eater and complete chocaholic and yet I've lost nearly 8 stone (if I can do it - anyone can!!!). When things in life are going well, my desire to eat chocolate and other bad stuff just goes - and if anything, I crave good, nutritious, healthy foods. During these times I lose weight. However, when life is difficult, as it has been for me over the past 2-3 months (work pressures), I utterly crave chocolate. Over the past 2-3 months I have regularly (i.e. every 2-3 days) binged on chocolate. By that, I mean, I've gone out and bought 6-7 bars of chocolate and eaten my way through all of them in an evening. On top of that I've eaten cheese sandwiches (cheese comes second to chocolate in my head), muffins, iced buns and all sorts of other rubbish.
HOWEVER (this is the good bit) - during these times I have NOT GAINED any weight! This is because:
- My metabolism has speeded up because I've lost weight so my body uses calories more effectively,
- I do more exercise (though nothing like as much as I do when life is going well),
- The portion sizes of my main meals is much smaller than it ever used to be - because of the band,
- In between the bad days I have relatively good days where I have a negative calorie balance (i.e. I use more than I put in).
So, if you still find you can't keep off the chocolate (and incidentally, I never keep any in the house), it's not all doom and gloom - stick to good eating habits as much as you can and this should mean that at least you won't gain any more weight. On good days, and at good times in your life, you should be able to lose with the band - and keep it off during the bad times".
Friday, November 13, 2009
Some reassurance
As far as my healthy eating goes, I've had a fairly wretched few weeks. Just in the last week I've had about three or four fairly serious chocolate binges. HOWEVER, for any new or inexperienced bandits out there I can offer you some great reassurance. Despite my poor eating habits of late, largely down to work-related stress, I haven't gained an ounce!! I haven't even been doing much exercise at all but gave managed to keep my weight stable. I think it's partly because the band has controlled my portion sizes (apart from the chocolate!), and partly because I suspect my metabolism has speeded up with the muscle I've added over the last few months.
This is all very reassuring to me because it suggests that the long term outcome if my band will be favourable even if I'm not as 'good' as I should be. It has also really emphasised to me just how effective my band us when I make good food choices. I'm glad things are stable at the moment because my bandiversary is coming up in two days.....!
This is all very reassuring to me because it suggests that the long term outcome if my band will be favourable even if I'm not as 'good' as I should be. It has also really emphasised to me just how effective my band us when I make good food choices. I'm glad things are stable at the moment because my bandiversary is coming up in two days.....!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Back to the gym
I kept my resolve today (just) and trudged off to the gym after work. I did about half an hour of aerobic activity on the treadmill including some gentle jogging, and spent another half hour doing some light weights for upper and lower toning and strength. I asked my dietician at the last support group meeting, how soon should one begin doing weight training? I asked this because he had previously said people losing weight should do calorie burning activity initially and not lift weights - this us to avoid building up muscle too early on (it can counteract weight loss and may turn fat bulk into muscle bulk). Anyway, he reckoned that we should move onto some light weights work once we have lost about 75% of our excess weight. I'm a little past that point now (closer to 80%) so the time us definitely right for this kind of workout.
I didn't overdo it though because it's been a few weeks since I last went. Even so, I am expecting to be aching in the morning!
I didn't overdo it though because it's been a few weeks since I last went. Even so, I am expecting to be aching in the morning!
Friday, October 30, 2009
I'm getting younger!
I reported a few months ago that my scales gave my metabolic age as 48 - three years older than I actually am, but two years younger than they had been reading ever since I got banded. Well, this morning I weighed myself again, and my metabolic age has dropped to 44 - a year younger than my real age!! That's fantastic - I'm delighted!
However, what I am even more pleased about is that my muscle mass is now classified as 5. I looked this up in the manual and it means 'Standard' - average muscle mass and average body fat!!! Whoopee!!
However, what I am even more pleased about is that my muscle mass is now classified as 5. I looked this up in the manual and it means 'Standard' - average muscle mass and average body fat!!! Whoopee!!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Blood pressure
Over the last couple of weeks I've experienced several temporary bouts of dizziness. It seems to occur if I'm bending down and then stand up too quickly. I checked my blood pressure the other day and it was only 99 over 51. This is classified as hypotension - i.e. too low. It's not dangerously low - my kit says to see a GP if the low blood pressure is accompanied by fainting. So I'm OK, just a bit curious as to why it has apparently fallen. It's never been high - even when I was 20 stone my blood pressure was always normal. I noticed when I first got the band that my blood pressure was low but this was down to dehydration. It can't be that now because I make sure I drink at least 2.5 litres per day. The only thing that's changed in the last two weeks is that I've got 'back on the wagon' and begun to lose weight again. Maybe it's just my body saying "Whoa! What's happening?!"
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Back on track
I'm pretty sure I'm back on track now. I've managed to stick to healthy eating for several days now, and the scales have dropped by two pounds this morning! I'm now just seven pounds away from being a 'normal' weight! I'm so pleased about this - there is a realistic chance of reaching that interim target by Christmas. I posted a few days ago about the pros and cons of having another fill. I said at the time that I was fairly sure I am happy where I am. I can now say with certainty that I DEFINITELY AM!! There's no doubt about it, when I eat healthily I get enough food with about 1200 calories a day. I still get hungry mid-afternoon but as I said the other day, I simply get around this by having a selection of healthy snacks available.
Although I've been at a plateau fir a few weeks, things have started moving again. I really feel as though I have turned a corner in terms of understanding how to make the most of my band!
Although I've been at a plateau fir a few weeks, things have started moving again. I really feel as though I have turned a corner in terms of understanding how to make the most of my band!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Craving anonymity
I never imagined I'd have this problem.......not in a million years! Here goes. In the past, particularly when I was a child living at home, whenever I went on a diet I got loads of stick from my Dad. Every time I put anything near my mouth I got quizzed about whether I really should be eating that...? - you know the kind of thing. I truly hated that kind of intrusion. Despite being a regular blogger, I'm actually a relatively private person and like to just 'get on with things' without too much fuss - especially where my weight is concerned.
It's one of the main reasons why I didn't tell any of my family or friends about my band early on - because I feared people would poke their nose in and make comments about what I was eating, when I was eating, how much I was eating etc. However, time has moved on and I'm much more comfortable about telling selected people about my band now. All of my immediate family know and I have told quite a few people at work. Last night I told a lady in my swimming club and it was quite nice chatting to someone about it freely and openly. Having said that, I tend to tell people who I am unlikely to find myself eating with!
And that brings me to the point of this post. Up till now, all my life I am sure many people have known me or regarded me as 'the fat woman'. There was nowhere to hide because I was so fat - it was obvious. I got into bad habits of eating in secret - even eating away from my husband at times. I went to great lengths to avoid any situation where people might say anything about my weight or what I was eating. I felt, because of my size, that I was 'on show' all of the time and I craved the anonymity of being thin. So, having lost seven-and-a-half stones now, how has this aspect of my life changed?
Well, it's not good. I'm longer known as 'the fat woman'. Now I'm known as 'the woman who's lost loads of weight'! I can't go anywhere without someone commenting on it. People who I don't really even know comment on it. There are some people I know quite well who now never seem to have anything to say to me that doesn't, in some way, revolve around my weight. What's a bit scary is that some people even seem to think I've discovered the Holy Grail of weight loss and I can somehow solve all of their weight problems too!!
I must confess, if it wasn't already obvious, I'm getting a bit cheesed off with all of this attention. I want to go back into hiding. I want to erase people's memories of me being fat so they just accept me as I am, now. When will people stop seeing me as someone who is fat, thin, lost weight, gained weight, whatever, and start to see me just as a normal, everyday human being? When will people just forget about my weight and just treat me normally. Ask me how I am, or where I'm going on holiday, or what I'm doing for Christmas, or how work is going or what I did at the weekend. But please stop talking about my weight and please stop seeing me as a 'weight issue'.
Am a misery guts or what?!
It's one of the main reasons why I didn't tell any of my family or friends about my band early on - because I feared people would poke their nose in and make comments about what I was eating, when I was eating, how much I was eating etc. However, time has moved on and I'm much more comfortable about telling selected people about my band now. All of my immediate family know and I have told quite a few people at work. Last night I told a lady in my swimming club and it was quite nice chatting to someone about it freely and openly. Having said that, I tend to tell people who I am unlikely to find myself eating with!
And that brings me to the point of this post. Up till now, all my life I am sure many people have known me or regarded me as 'the fat woman'. There was nowhere to hide because I was so fat - it was obvious. I got into bad habits of eating in secret - even eating away from my husband at times. I went to great lengths to avoid any situation where people might say anything about my weight or what I was eating. I felt, because of my size, that I was 'on show' all of the time and I craved the anonymity of being thin. So, having lost seven-and-a-half stones now, how has this aspect of my life changed?
Well, it's not good. I'm longer known as 'the fat woman'. Now I'm known as 'the woman who's lost loads of weight'! I can't go anywhere without someone commenting on it. People who I don't really even know comment on it. There are some people I know quite well who now never seem to have anything to say to me that doesn't, in some way, revolve around my weight. What's a bit scary is that some people even seem to think I've discovered the Holy Grail of weight loss and I can somehow solve all of their weight problems too!!
I must confess, if it wasn't already obvious, I'm getting a bit cheesed off with all of this attention. I want to go back into hiding. I want to erase people's memories of me being fat so they just accept me as I am, now. When will people stop seeing me as someone who is fat, thin, lost weight, gained weight, whatever, and start to see me just as a normal, everyday human being? When will people just forget about my weight and just treat me normally. Ask me how I am, or where I'm going on holiday, or what I'm doing for Christmas, or how work is going or what I did at the weekend. But please stop talking about my weight and please stop seeing me as a 'weight issue'.
Am a misery guts or what?!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuna salad nicoise
I found a small gap in my busy schedule (about 50 minutes!) and went out for lunch with some colleagues today. We ate at a restaurant bar opposite my workplace - somewhere we've eaten many times before. They are notoriously slow at service so we pre-ordered our meals. This was a great relief to me because I literally only had 50 minutes to spare. I thought that if they were at all late in serving I wouldn't have time to eat mine! I ordered tuna salad nicoise, which is basically a seared tuna steak with mixed salad including green beans and half a boiled egg. It also comes with a few olives. It wasn't a large portion, but enough to keep me fully occupied for 45 miniutes solid. I finished eating at least 20 minutes after everybody else, but hey, I truly enjoyed my meal and tasted every morsel!! I had to - it needed really well chewing. I had to stop a few times to allow food to go down, but apart from one hiccup (I seem to be prone to hiccupping), there was never any real danger of me embarrassing myself! By the end of it I was somewhere between pleasantly satisfied and full (numbers 6 and 7 on Paul McKenna's Hunger Scale). An hour later, in a meeting, I drank two cups of coffee and tea and followed them up with a couple of biscuits. I don't know about anybody else, but I always feel a craving to have something sweet after eating a savoury meal?Anyway, it's nearly home time now (shall I go to the gym??) and I'm doing my best to ensure that today is successful - in terms of how much I eat. So far so good - but evening is often my downfall. I did really well yesterday and feel as though I am beginning to get back on track. I also lost 0.4 of a pound this morning - which might not sound much but it's the first hint of me losing anything (apart from my head) for at least six weeks - so I'm very happy with it!!
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