Had another fill yesterday, of 1.4ml, taking me to 6.4ml now. I was pleasantly surprised to discover, when I got to the clinic, that the lady who filled me last time wasn't there (see my last post for an explanation!). Instead, it was the senior nurse who has seen me on and off for the last four years, and I've every confidence in her. The fill went extremely smoothly and I've no had adverse side-effects like last time. Phew! I've been on fluids and very soft foods since so it's difficult to tell exactly how much restriction I've now got. However, I definitely feel more restriction than I did before, but I suspect I will need another fill or two before I'm at optimum. With Christmas, and a house-move coming up, I'll probably wait until the New Year before going for my next fill.
I will be pleased to get some more restriction though, because I've been really struggling to control my eating over the last few weeks and have steadily been gaining a few pounds. It's such a shame because after a long time of struggling I had actually begun to start making some real progress earlier this year.
For now, my plan is simply to try to re-gain all those good habits - eating slowly, eating crunchy, healthy foods, controlling portion size, eating with a small fork (yes, really), and keeping a food diary. I'll let you know how I get on!
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Horrid fill experience
Two weeks ago I had my first fill after having my band completely emptied before that. As I anticipated, my fill was 5ml, the same as it was the first time around - four years ago! However, my fill experience was not the same as previous fills at all. This was the first time I had been seen by this nurse. She said she had worked there for 18 months but I hadn't seen her before. She prodded, pushed, kneaded and pulled, and eventually stuck the needle in. Then she did some more prodding and pushing, pulled the needle out, and went through the process all over again. It wasn't what I would call painful, but most uncomfortable. She said a couple of times that it was difficult because the needle was "right on the edge". This worried me because last time I had been here at the clinic I got chatting to a lady who had had to have surgery to replace her port because it has somehow sprung a leak. She suspected the last nurse to give her a fill because it had been a difficult experience. I was starting to worry that putting the needle in right on the edge might cause a leak in my port too, and I'd end up having more surgery - at my expense of course.
Anyway, I gritted my teeth and thought of England, as they say! When I got home I did as I always do, and pulled off the plaster. I had expected to see one of those tiny round plasters, but instead it was quite a large one. This surprised me because none of the previous nurses had ever needed to use a large plaster, and also because it should have said clearly on my records that I am allergic to Elastoplast.....!
Later that day, the area where the needle had gone in was bright red and itching like mad. This was true for an area about 5cm (2inches) in diameter. It stayed extremely itchy for the next five or six days and was so bad at times I had to take a strong antihistamine to relieve the itching and swelling. The redness faded into a huge multi-coloured bruise and eventually the itching receded. The area is now finally back to normal after two weeks.
I've made another appointment for my next fill and am going to see the same nurse again. This wasn't by choice, but she's the only one available at the moment. When I booked my appointment I explained to the practice manager my concerns and she advised me to speak to the nurse on the day and tell her what happened. I'll certainly do that! Apparently the top man of the practice will be on duty that day, so I can ask for him to do the fill if the nurse starts to have any problems like last time. Not looking forward to it though!
Since my last fill I have felt a little restriction but nowhere near enough. I am eating like a horse to be honest and my portion sizes have definitely increased. I've also found that I'm eating a lot more carbs instead of focusing on proteins as I was doing previously. Hopefully the next fill will get me back on track...... Wish me luck!
Anyway, I gritted my teeth and thought of England, as they say! When I got home I did as I always do, and pulled off the plaster. I had expected to see one of those tiny round plasters, but instead it was quite a large one. This surprised me because none of the previous nurses had ever needed to use a large plaster, and also because it should have said clearly on my records that I am allergic to Elastoplast.....!
Later that day, the area where the needle had gone in was bright red and itching like mad. This was true for an area about 5cm (2inches) in diameter. It stayed extremely itchy for the next five or six days and was so bad at times I had to take a strong antihistamine to relieve the itching and swelling. The redness faded into a huge multi-coloured bruise and eventually the itching receded. The area is now finally back to normal after two weeks.
I've made another appointment for my next fill and am going to see the same nurse again. This wasn't by choice, but she's the only one available at the moment. When I booked my appointment I explained to the practice manager my concerns and she advised me to speak to the nurse on the day and tell her what happened. I'll certainly do that! Apparently the top man of the practice will be on duty that day, so I can ask for him to do the fill if the nurse starts to have any problems like last time. Not looking forward to it though!
Since my last fill I have felt a little restriction but nowhere near enough. I am eating like a horse to be honest and my portion sizes have definitely increased. I've also found that I'm eating a lot more carbs instead of focusing on proteins as I was doing previously. Hopefully the next fill will get me back on track...... Wish me luck!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Mr Tortoise gets a PB!
I was looking at my tickerfactory.com banner this morning and it occurred to me that I had selected the right icon - a tortoise - as the slide bar! I recall when I first got banded and discovered lots of fellow bandits had their own ticker factory banner. I remember thinking that some people didn't appear to have made that much progress over a period of time. And four years on, I am one of those people! I've lost 55lbs in four years and still had about 80-something pounds to go. But that got me thinking about my target - is 10 stone and 5 lbs really realistic for me anymore?
Other than when I briefly passed by that weight as a growing teenager, I've only been that weight once in my life. I was aged 23 and was running 40 miles per week! I went through a two year phase of being addicted to running, entering competitions, and achieving personal best after personal best. [as an aside, I was going to put PB instead of personal best, but nowadays that means something different to us bandits!!!]. At the time I was eating loads, but burning it all off, of course. Then I got injured and the running had to stop - but unfortunately the eating didn't.
So anyway, I've concluded that 145lbs is wishful thinking to the point of silliness. I'm 5ft 8ins and have a large frame (bone structure, I mean) - so it just isn't going to happen. So, I've changed my target weight to 12 stone. I've been there once or twice before and have been quite happy with my look and feel. If I ever get there again, I can think then about whether a lower target is realistic.
But for now, I've amended my target on the ticker, and Mr Tortoise has just had a surge of energy and belted along the race track - and he's now almost a the half way point! Cheered me up anyway!
Other than when I briefly passed by that weight as a growing teenager, I've only been that weight once in my life. I was aged 23 and was running 40 miles per week! I went through a two year phase of being addicted to running, entering competitions, and achieving personal best after personal best. [as an aside, I was going to put PB instead of personal best, but nowadays that means something different to us bandits!!!]. At the time I was eating loads, but burning it all off, of course. Then I got injured and the running had to stop - but unfortunately the eating didn't.
So anyway, I've concluded that 145lbs is wishful thinking to the point of silliness. I'm 5ft 8ins and have a large frame (bone structure, I mean) - so it just isn't going to happen. So, I've changed my target weight to 12 stone. I've been there once or twice before and have been quite happy with my look and feel. If I ever get there again, I can think then about whether a lower target is realistic.
But for now, I've amended my target on the ticker, and Mr Tortoise has just had a surge of energy and belted along the race track - and he's now almost a the half way point! Cheered me up anyway!
Friday, October 5, 2012
Patience - an important lesson
I thought I'd give you a little insight into how things have been for me in the last year. A year ago I had a small fill, taking my total band fill up to about 7.7ml. This gave me a really nice level of restriction and for the first time in a while, I felt that my band could really help me to control my eating. However, the thorn in this theory was my binge-eating, primarily chocolate focused. At that time I was eating at least six or seven bars of chocolate per day, often eight bars, plus some other cakes and trifles. I estimate that I was consuming 1500-2000 calories per day through chocolate, ON TOP of a normal diet of about the same. It doesn't need a mathematician to work out that I was consuming nearly twice the calories that I actually needed. No wonder I was steadily gaining weight. I tried all kinds of things to cut down on the chocolate but nothing worked.
I have always subscribed to the view that a diet should be sustainable, otherwise it won't work. By the same token, I have always believed that since 'normal' people can eat a little chocolate, so should I be able to. And so my efforts over the years have been to cut down on chocolate consumption, rather than to cut it out all together. But I finally saw sense on May 25th this year, when I took the decision to completely cut out chocolate from my diet. Since that time I have very, very slowly begun to take back control over my diet and begun to lose weight again.
I thought I'd quote an anonymous comment on an earlier post (from 2010): "I too am a chocoholic and I have successfully lost weight in the past only to pile it back on (I was 5.5st lighter 2 years ago). I have come to the conclusion that I cannot eat any chocolate - total abstinence is the only way forward (I have managed to give up chocolate for years in the past and I always become complacent: "a little won't hurt....." - the trouble is I cannot eat just a "little". - Well there's at least a little comfort in knowing I'm not the only one!!
A year ago, I weighed 17 stone and 4 lbs, and now I'm exactly a stone less. So it's taken me six months to lose a stone, but maybe this is another lesson that I have learned from the last four years of being a bandit - patience, patience, patience - you can never have too much! Don't rush things, it's a marathon not a sprint. It is better to take six years to lose all the weight I want to, and to keep it off by developing good habits, than to lose it all in a year and put much of it back on again (which is effectively what happened to me).
Next time, more about the acid problem over the last year.... Bet you can't wait!!
I have always subscribed to the view that a diet should be sustainable, otherwise it won't work. By the same token, I have always believed that since 'normal' people can eat a little chocolate, so should I be able to. And so my efforts over the years have been to cut down on chocolate consumption, rather than to cut it out all together. But I finally saw sense on May 25th this year, when I took the decision to completely cut out chocolate from my diet. Since that time I have very, very slowly begun to take back control over my diet and begun to lose weight again.
I thought I'd quote an anonymous comment on an earlier post (from 2010): "I too am a chocoholic and I have successfully lost weight in the past only to pile it back on (I was 5.5st lighter 2 years ago). I have come to the conclusion that I cannot eat any chocolate - total abstinence is the only way forward (I have managed to give up chocolate for years in the past and I always become complacent: "a little won't hurt....." - the trouble is I cannot eat just a "little". - Well there's at least a little comfort in knowing I'm not the only one!!
A year ago, I weighed 17 stone and 4 lbs, and now I'm exactly a stone less. So it's taken me six months to lose a stone, but maybe this is another lesson that I have learned from the last four years of being a bandit - patience, patience, patience - you can never have too much! Don't rush things, it's a marathon not a sprint. It is better to take six years to lose all the weight I want to, and to keep it off by developing good habits, than to lose it all in a year and put much of it back on again (which is effectively what happened to me).
Next time, more about the acid problem over the last year.... Bet you can't wait!!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
An acid-free night!
I'm back on solid food today after my complete de-fill last Saturday. I've had no problems eating, but then I wouldn't expect to with an empty band. I'm still surprised, though, that I still have a significant amount of restriction, presumably just from the presence of the band itself. I am still getting pretty full after eating small portions. The bariatric nurse said to book an appointment for. Re-fill three weeks after the de-fill, but the way I am going I will be a little frightened doing that, and afraid that my acid reflux will come back.
The news on my acid reflux is that last night, for the first time in over a year, I didn't take any medication at all, and I had a good night's sleep. I plan on doing the same tonight, and see what happens.
So what have I eaten today?
Breakfast: Strawberry protein shake made up with soya milk and water.
Mid-morning snack: A sneaky cake. It was very small, but I was stuffed afterwards!
Late lunch: Weight watchers ocean pie (only 190 calories).
Afternoon snack: Some olives and pistachios.
Dinner: Wholewhat rice with flageolet beans, steamed aubergine and red onion. Followed by a fat free Greek-style yoghurt.
I must say, I really enjoyed my dinner - the first proper meal I have had in more than a week!
The news on my acid reflux is that last night, for the first time in over a year, I didn't take any medication at all, and I had a good night's sleep. I plan on doing the same tonight, and see what happens.
So what have I eaten today?
Breakfast: Strawberry protein shake made up with soya milk and water.
Mid-morning snack: A sneaky cake. It was very small, but I was stuffed afterwards!
Late lunch: Weight watchers ocean pie (only 190 calories).
Afternoon snack: Some olives and pistachios.
Dinner: Wholewhat rice with flageolet beans, steamed aubergine and red onion. Followed by a fat free Greek-style yoghurt.
I must say, I really enjoyed my dinner - the first proper meal I have had in more than a week!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Slightly confused.....?
After my complete de-fill two days ago I've had a slightly confusing time. I had expected to be extremely hungry, but I haven't been. I guess there's still enough restriction from having the band, albeit empty, that it staves off the hunger pangs. On Saturday night I had no acid reflux at all, so I had the first decent sleep I've had in ages. But Sunday night I woke up with a nasty dull ache in my chest - about where my band is. It went off after a while and I went back to sleep. But the pain came back with a vengeance about half an hour after I got up this morning. I'm not sure what it is or what causes it. All I can do at the moment is monitor it - but it is a little worrying. All the talk of possibly needing an x-ray on Saturday has got me wondering what could possibly have gone wrong? If anything? I suppose I just have to be patient.
As far as food is concerned, I'm all souped out! My diet has consisted of soup, smoothies, yoghurt and milkshake (not all at once!). At work today, I took a can of soup with me. I hadn't realised until I went to open it, however, that it didn't have a ring-pull, and I didn't have a tin opener! I ended up trawling around people's offices trying to find someone who might have a Swiss Army knife! I found one eventually (thanks Ade!).
Tonight I've already had some mushroom soup (blended to remove the bits), and I'll have a fruit smoothie soon. I'm planning on moving onto mushy food tomorrow, and am looking forward to an ocean pie for tea!
As far as food is concerned, I'm all souped out! My diet has consisted of soup, smoothies, yoghurt and milkshake (not all at once!). At work today, I took a can of soup with me. I hadn't realised until I went to open it, however, that it didn't have a ring-pull, and I didn't have a tin opener! I ended up trawling around people's offices trying to find someone who might have a Swiss Army knife! I found one eventually (thanks Ade!).
Tonight I've already had some mushroom soup (blended to remove the bits), and I'll have a fruit smoothie soon. I'm planning on moving onto mushy food tomorrow, and am looking forward to an ocean pie for tea!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Scary times.....
Thanks Maria (you know who you are), for convincing me that I should get back blogging. Over the coming days and weeks I can fill in some of the gaps since I last posted, but for now, I'm in a scary times sort of limbo - my band has been emptied this morning.
I've often wondered what it would feel like to have no restriction again, so I could compare it with how I have felt over the last four years since getting bended in the first place. But I never actually thought I would experience 'emptiness' so to speak. So why, I hear you ask? Acid. Or acid reflux to be more accurate. I've had it on and off for long periods over the last couple of years and I think I'm due some serious commission from Zantac, Rennie and Gaviscon. I've had two small de-fills already to try and solve the problem, but each time, I get a few weeks of improvement and then it comes back again. If you've never had acid reflux it's horrid. You get woken up many times in the middle of the night with this nasty acidic taste in your mouth and sometimes acid shooting up the back of your throat. You never get a decent nights sleep and it just wears you down. Things have got quite bad because I've even been getting it during the day over the last couple of weeks. Hence my visit to my friendly bariatric nurse, Clare.
I thought it might be a case of needing yet another small de-fill but Clare convinced me that it wouldn't solve the problem, and that I needed for my band to be completely emptied to let my stomach settle down. I've to see if things improve over the next week, and if not, book an x-ray appointment to see what's going on. If things do settle down, then I can skip the x-ray and start to get my band re-filled again in about three weeks time.
The band was emptied two hours ago and I don't feel any different yet. Maybe I'm expecting to be ravenously hungry, or maybe the presence of the band itself will provide enough restriction to keep the hunger pangs at bay. I don't know. I'm really not sure what to expect, but I'll keep you posted.
I've often wondered what it would feel like to have no restriction again, so I could compare it with how I have felt over the last four years since getting bended in the first place. But I never actually thought I would experience 'emptiness' so to speak. So why, I hear you ask? Acid. Or acid reflux to be more accurate. I've had it on and off for long periods over the last couple of years and I think I'm due some serious commission from Zantac, Rennie and Gaviscon. I've had two small de-fills already to try and solve the problem, but each time, I get a few weeks of improvement and then it comes back again. If you've never had acid reflux it's horrid. You get woken up many times in the middle of the night with this nasty acidic taste in your mouth and sometimes acid shooting up the back of your throat. You never get a decent nights sleep and it just wears you down. Things have got quite bad because I've even been getting it during the day over the last couple of weeks. Hence my visit to my friendly bariatric nurse, Clare.
I thought it might be a case of needing yet another small de-fill but Clare convinced me that it wouldn't solve the problem, and that I needed for my band to be completely emptied to let my stomach settle down. I've to see if things improve over the next week, and if not, book an x-ray appointment to see what's going on. If things do settle down, then I can skip the x-ray and start to get my band re-filled again in about three weeks time.
The band was emptied two hours ago and I don't feel any different yet. Maybe I'm expecting to be ravenously hungry, or maybe the presence of the band itself will provide enough restriction to keep the hunger pangs at bay. I don't know. I'm really not sure what to expect, but I'll keep you posted.
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