Craving anonymity

I never imagined I'd have this problem.......not in a million years! Here goes. In the past, particularly when I was a child living at home, whenever I went on a diet I got loads of stick from my Dad. Every time I put anything near my mouth I got quizzed about whether I really should be eating that...? - you know the kind of thing. I truly hated that kind of intrusion. Despite being a regular blogger, I'm actually a relatively private person and like to just 'get on with things' without too much fuss - especially where my weight is concerned.

It's one of the main reasons why I didn't tell any of my family or friends about my band early on - because I feared people would poke their nose in and make comments about what I was eating, when I was eating, how much I was eating etc. However, time has moved on and I'm much more comfortable about telling selected people about my band now. All of my immediate family know and I have told quite a few people at work. Last night I told a lady in my swimming club and it was quite nice chatting to someone about it freely and openly. Having said that, I tend to tell people who I am unlikely to find myself eating with!

And that brings me to the point of this post. Up till now, all my life I am sure many people have known me or regarded me as 'the fat woman'. There was nowhere to hide because I was so fat - it was obvious. I got into bad habits of eating in secret - even eating away from my husband at times. I went to great lengths to avoid any situation where people might say anything about my weight or what I was eating. I felt, because of my size, that I was 'on show' all of the time and I craved the anonymity of being thin. So, having lost seven-and-a-half stones now, how has this aspect of my life changed?

Well, it's not good. I'm longer known as 'the fat woman'. Now I'm known as 'the woman who's lost loads of weight'! I can't go anywhere without someone commenting on it. People who I don't really even know comment on it. There are some people I know quite well who now never seem to have anything to say to me that doesn't, in some way, revolve around my weight. What's a bit scary is that some people even seem to think I've discovered the Holy Grail of weight loss and I can somehow solve all of their weight problems too!!

I must confess, if it wasn't already obvious, I'm getting a bit cheesed off with all of this attention. I want to go back into hiding. I want to erase people's memories of me being fat so they just accept me as I am, now. When will people stop seeing me as someone who is fat, thin, lost weight, gained weight, whatever, and start to see me just as a normal, everyday human being? When will people just forget about my weight and just treat me normally. Ask me how I am, or where I'm going on holiday, or what I'm doing for Christmas, or how work is going or what I did at the weekend. But please stop talking about my weight and please stop seeing me as a 'weight issue'.

Am a misery guts or what?!