Tears from the Amazon

I received a parcel through the post from Amazon this morning, and within minutes of opening it, found tears streaming down my cheeks. What was it? A book I ordered called "Fighting Weight: How I Achieved Healthy Weight Loss with 'Banding', a New Procedure that Eliminates Hunger Forever" written by Khaliah Ali - daughter of the famous Mohammed. Why the tears? Well, I did what I always do when I get a new book, I scanned the inside covers, the back page and the contents list - to get a feel for what is in the book and how it is structured. I also had a sneak preview of the first couple of pages of the introduction.

Just from this brief scan I had already got a glimpse of the physical and emotional trauma that this lady went through as a morbidly obese person (325 pounds) and it just rang very true, and so close to home. I could identify with everything she said. On the back page, for instance, she describes how she unexpectedly bumped into her father at a fund-raising event and saw the very sad, concerned look on his face when he looked at her. She talks about her sense of shame and loss of dignity and the way that no-one who hasn't experienced this can really understand. She also talks about the way that being overweight became part and parcel of every waking moment of her life. I know just how she felt.

In the introduction Khaliah begins by referring to the practicalities of being obese in America - how 20 million Americans "cannot pull an airplane seatbelt across their laps", can't run for a bus or train, have to engage in advance planning just to get into a bath and never sit on fragile garden furniture for fear of breaking it. This inevitably leads to a huge sense of shame, loss of dignity and vulnerability.

It was at about that point that my tear ducts started working overtime. I think it was to do with the enormous anticipation that I was going to read a book about a person, who I don't know, with whom I share so much. So many emotions, fears and frustrations. I am going to read about a lifetime that shares so much in common with my own, of the practicalities of obesity, the looks and stares, the shame and the sheer hopelessness of it all. And then, I am gong to read about someone who has already completed the journey that I am still on - about their success, the weight loss, the great triumph of beating this disease - and I anticipate it will be a sad, sometimes heartrending, informative, optimistic and eventually, triumphant journey.

I am going to set aside some serious time to read this book. I can't wait to start. As always, I will report back.....