Ten things about weight loss: Part 1

There was a documentary on channel Four last week, I think it was called "Ten things you never knew about weight loss". Over the next few days I will post some comment on those 'ten things' and relate the advice to my own experience.

The programme focusses on Dr Michael, a middle aged GP and TV presenter. The programme begns when Michael finds out that he has a significant amount of visceral fat - much more than he thought. He is actually quite a slim looking man so he is surprised to discover his health is endangered. Visceral fat is internal fat located around the liver and kidneys. This fat does not accumulate in a way that is visual, initially, but can eventually lead to the development of a pot belly. Men tend to develop a higher proportion of visceral fat than women. It is dangerous because it is linked (in fact there is a direct correlation) to the onset of type 2 diabates. Visceral fat also releases a chemical that contributes to both heart disease and cancer. It also affects the ability of the liver to process fat. The good news is, that visceral fat is the first fat to go when you lose weight.

As a result of finding his visceral fat levels are a little on the high side, Michael sets out to discover some truths about weight loss - and to distinguish them from myths. His aim is to apply some of those truths to his own lifestyle and to lose five pounds over the next few months - AND keep it off. He discovers ten key lessons about weight loss:

1.Don't skip meals

An experiment is conducted whereby on day 1, Michael eats a normal breakfast, and on day 2, he skips breakfast. Each day he has an MRI scan to find out how his brain activity is affected by (a) eating breakfast - i.e. where his stomach is full, and (b) skipping breakfast - i.e. where his stomach is empty and he is experiencing hunger. What is discovered is really interesting. The MRI scans show that when he is full (after a normal breakfast), there is very little brain activity when he is shown a plate of low calorie salad-type food, OR when shown a plate of high calorie, sugary, fatty food. However, on the day when he skips breakfast, while his brain activity does not respond to seeing a plate of low calorie food, it shows considerable activity when shown the high calorie food. What this experiment demonstrates is that when we are hungry our brains drive us to eat high calorie food - this powerful urge is nature's way of compensating for a lack of food in the stomach. The lesson here is simply to avoid getting hungy in the first place - and a key solution is to never skip breakfast!

I used to skip breakfast all the time until a few years ago when I heard something along the lines of the above. When I skipped breakfast I used to get really hungry about mid-morning and I simply solved that problem by heading off to the vending machine. I'd have crisps and chocolate at about 10.30pm, and then went for lunch with colleagues at about 12pm!! Nowadays, I always eat breakfast and keep going till lunch without too much trouble. I don't eat a large breakfast though and still think I need to eat more in the morning though - remember the old adage "breakfast like a King, lunch like a Lord and dine like a pauper"? There's probably quite a lot of truth in that!

More tomorrow......

Tired, tired, tired....

I went for a walk in the Pennines today (at Widdop Reservoir, near Burnley,pictured). I think I covered about 15km on rough ground with a few ups and downs but no major climbs. The walk took about four hours in total, including stops, and I have arrived back home feeling really tired. Now, I know it's been a really hot day with a deeply intense blue sky, but I don't think I should feel as tired as I do. In fact, I was feeling quite tired right at the start of the walk and have been moving along somewhat sluggishly all day.

I suppose one possible reason for this is related to what I have been eating the past couple of days - after all, energy out is largely controlled by energy in. Yesterday and the day before I only managed about 800 calories a day, mainly because I find it difficult to consume more than that when on fluids. I have, in the past, supplemented the calories from fluid intake by sucking on chocolate - but I thought I'd try to avoid it on this occasion. However, I have a theory that my lethargy may also be related to having the de-fill. Although the fill / de-fill procedure is largely painless and only takes a few minutes, I think that it actually takes more out of me than I think.

Today, I ate Oatso Simple porridge for breakfast. For lunch I ate some Tesco vegetarian cottage pie and a yoghurt. This evening I had my favourite meal, salmon, soft-cooked broccoli and mash. I am still supposed to be on fluids but have moved onto mush a day early - I don't think it's as essential to be strict after a de-fill, as opposed to a fill - because foods sould have got easier, not more difficult. I am sat here feeling quite full but oddly still tired and craving something sweet and packed with sugar. If only I had some chocolate.....

Changes.....

On the UKGastricBand forum there has been a thread running for ages called 'Subtle Changes'. Loads of bandits have posted exampes of how their bodies and behaviours have changed since being banded. Some of the responses are very funny, I've posted a couple of times myself. I thought I'd post here, some of the changes I have noticed in myself over the past few months:

1. I can now cross my legs when sitting down.........

2. I felt some 'lumps' on my upper chest a couple of weeks ago - it turned out it was my ribs!!

3. I had to buy new knickers cos they kept falling down

4. My jeans are now very fashionable (they hang round the bottom of my a**e and the crutch is between my knees)

5. I walk a lot faster and sweat a lot less

6. My shoes are too big (honest!!)

7. I burp and fart a lot more!

8. I am developing a turkey neck

9. Someone recently said I was a fussy eater.... I've been called a greedy pig and a gannet before now, but never 'fussy'!

10. My bony knees bang together when I lie on my side in bed!

11. My brother keeps marvelling at how small my arms look

12. My hair is still falling out.....

What a relief !!

I went to see my nurse today. After describing my symptoms (heartburn, acid reflux, slime, vomiting, pain and difficulty drinking), she immediately recommended an aspiration. In order to ensure that my stomach has time and space to settle down (especially after all the acid), she took out 0.5ml, taking me to 0.1ml less than I was at when I had my last fill. She suggested that once I had given my stomach a chance to settle, I could go back to the clinic and have a small re-fill in a couple of weeks or so. At first, this amount of de-fill (0.5ml) seemed a little alarming - I expected her only to take about 0.2ml out. In a way it feels like going backwards. But on the other hand, the relief I have felt since is worth the backtracking.....

Obviously I am back onto fluids for three days and then mush for three days before reverting to solids again. After getting back to work following my de-fill today I immediately tried some drink, and found, with enormous relief, that I can drink again!! Oh, the sheer heaven of being able to drink a glass of anything and not suffer all the burping and gurgling and acid and pain and slime! The absolute beauty of being able to drink a glass in a couple of minutes instead of taking an hour or two! At the time of writing this I have already drunk twice as much today as I have typically got through per day in the last week or two. I am now on a mision to re-hydrate over the next few days and get some serious moisture back into my skin, hair and nails!!

I asked about the oddity of being able to eat easily but not drink without a great deal of trouble and the nurse didn't immediately have an answer. I hypothesised that it might be because solid food somehow 'opens' up the stoma between the pouch and stomach, whereas drink doesn't have enough 'force' to do this and 'backs up'. On reflection, the nurse recalled a number of gastric band patients who have noted that sometimes when eating, the first few mouthfuls are more difficult - and then the restriction appears to ease off. This could indicate that my theory has some merit. Anyway, there doesn't appear to be any other obvious explanation. I will raise this issue when I next go to the support group meeting and see if my doctor has any suggestions - I am curious!!

I am sitting here watching 'Britain's Got Talent', with a finished glass of Diet Coke by my side and plans to re-fill it during the ad break! Just such a simple pleasure in life holds such meaning and satisfaction!!!

Tales of the unexpected

Well, it's been an interesting day. On Thursday last week I posted about the patterns emerging in my eating and drinking since the last fill. Well, I have a change to make. I said that I had been finding it difficult to drink, but eating is OK. I also said that drinking was a little easier AFTER eating. Now, I know I am not supposed to drink very soon after eating, but lately I have been finding this is the only way to successfully get much fluid down. Today, I experienced the down side of drinking after eating.....

I'd drunk half a litre of Ribena by about mid-morning. This sounds impressive, but it had taken me two hours or so of very slow sipping to get it down. I then managed some breakfast mid-morning - All Bran with milk. Around lunch time I tried some more liquid but found it really hard to get down. I had loads of gurgling in the back of my throat, burping and bubbling and general noisiness! It also felt as though the liquid was getting 'stuck' in the back of my throat and not really progressing down to my stomach (either of them!) like it should be. I tried several times more but gave up. Around 1pm this afternoon I ate a whole sandwich (slowly, of course), and was quite pleased. I then made the mistake of trying to have a little dink immediately afterwards. On a few attempts at doing this recently it has been moderately successful. I sipped my way through about 0.1 litres of Ribena (about half a small glass) - and then felt the slime coming on.......

I tried to suppress it and kept swallowing - but it was having none of it. Slime kept building up in my mouth and as fast as I swallowed it, more arrived. I left it too late to make a dash for the toilets but fortunately my office mate had left for the day and I had the room to myself. I locked the door from the inside in case anyone walked in, and proceeded to spit this saliva out into my used plastic breakfast tub!!! It was horrible, but worse was to come. After about five solid minutes of spitting saliva into my pastic tub I started to feel really sick. Next thing I knew, I was vomiting masses of Ribena into the dangerously full plastic tub!! This is the first occasion that I have actually regurgitated anything I have swallowed since getting banded and it was not an experience I want to repeat.

After settling down, wiping my mouth and generally composing myself, I headed off to a meeting. When I returned I decided to telephone my nurse at Healthier Weight to get her advice on what to do. She wasn't there but I left a message. Later on, Healthier Weight got back to me and made an appointment for me to see the nurse at the clinic tomorrow morning. I am so pleased and relieved that I am going to be able to explain all this to her and hopefully make some progress. I expect she will suggest a small aspiration and I will be happy if that is the case. I have held out until now, thinking that it might get better. I could persevere for longer in the hope that these odd symptoms might lessen, but what's the point of 'suffering' unecessarily? I want the band to work for me - in the context of living as near a normal life as I am able.

So starting tomorrow, it'll probably be back onto fluids and mush for another six days and then the waiting game starts all over again. I'l keep you posted! I recall reading a post on the UKGastricBand forum where an experienced bandit was explaining to an impatient novice how much trial and error there is in getting restriction levels right. She said something along the lines of "...and when you get near to your sweet spot - that's when the fun starts". Oh how right she was!!!

Aww shucks!!

I don't know whether everyone's feeling bright cos it's summer or what, but I have had so many lovely compliments about my 'new look' in the past few days! I bumped into a lady at work this morning who I haven't seen for a few months and it is no exaggeration to say that she was beside herself with amazement and confusion about my new size. She said she had seen me a few days ago and wasn't sure if it was me, so didn't say hello! She cannot believe how much weight I have lost and how wonderful I look!!!

Then, just now I bumped into another colleague who I have seen a few times recently, but only from a distance - and she commented that I was disappearing before her eyes! A male colleague also made some passing comment along the lines of "what's left of you" and people who I hardly know have just said how 'well' I look!!!

I must confess that I don't really know how to respond to these kind comments from people. On the one hand, I try to avoid getting into too much discussion about how I have lost the weight because I have only told one work colleague about my band. But on the other hand, I am just not used to getting such kind praise from people for the way I look. I've always had praise for the quality of my work or for doing things well, but never how I look - so I don't really know what to say.

I'm also wondering why there's been such a plethora of comments very recently - I have been continuing to lose weight slowly but steadily but it's not as though there's been any major change suddenly. I guess that my body shape is continuing to change and every now and then, without me realising (since I don't actually see my body most of the time!), some visual threshold is passed that other people notice.

Anyway, despite the fact that I feel a little awkward when people compliment me, and despite the fact that these compliments, in a strange sort of way, add a little more pressure on me to keep up the good work, keep 'em coming - it's lovely!!! Aww shucks!!

Colleague number 2.....

If you read my blog regularly you will know that I told a work colleague about my band a few weeks ago. Well now a second colleague knows. Liz has been curious about the op that I had in November and around that time asked me directly, what I had "had done". I responded that I didn't want to say - and that I might decide to tell people in the future but not at that time. Well, while chatting over coffee a couple of days ago we got talking about my weight loss. She commented that I looked as though I'd lost more weight. Then out of the blue she said "is your weight loss related to the op that you had". Well, setting aside the fact that (a) Jane (the other colleague) was standing there, and (b) I am not prone to lying outright - I found myself saying "yes". She then said that I was "our own Fern Britton....."!

So we went for coffee the next day and I told her all - I didn't really have much choice. She was understanding and sympathetic and asked the right sort of questions etc. However, I am uneasy about having told her because she is not the most discreet person I know. I am a little fearful that now the floodgates may have been opened. I am not sure how I feel about this. A few months ago I might have been horrified but now I am not so sure. I often find myself thinking "shall I tell x?", and then deciding not to - but it's a close run thing. I guess that on the one hand I am anxious that I get an opportunity to explain to people what the band is all about because there are so many misconceptions about it. I am afraid that if people find out about the band from someone else, they will be saying "ahhhh, that's how she lost all that weight..... nudge nudge, wink wink". Will they be calling me a cheat behind my back? On the other hand, the band is working for me, I know the truth - that's it's not cheating, it's not a quick fix and it definitely is not the easy option - so why sould I care two hoots what anyone else thinks?! The trouble is, this kind of bravado can only ome from people who are brimming with self belief and confidence - of a kind that I don't yet have.

So for now, I will have to remain a little uneasy, be careful what I say and keep my fingers crossed that Liz doesn't spill the beans.

Saliva, tightness, choking and all that jazz

I got some really good advice yesterday from the UKGastricBand forum. One piece of advice was to take Gaviscon for the heartburn. My husband very kindly went out and bought some Gaviscon liquid today while I have been at work - so I haven't tried it yet. However, I have heard about Gaviscon and believe they have a very good reputation. I don't intend taking it in the long term - just long enough to get me over this current bout of extreme tightness and associated acid.

Another nugget of information I got was from a lady who herself has experienced this odd thing of finding it easier to get solid food down than liquid. I was so relieved to find someone else who had experienced this because I really was starting to think I was going mad!! I guess it's possible that solid food kind of 'pushes' its way through the stoma of the pouch into my main stomach, whereas liquid may just 'sit around' and temporarily block the stoma. I have certainly felt something that can only be described as a 'suction' effect sometimes - this may be when the liquid makes it to the other side (of the stoma) so to speak!

I am aware that stress, emotions, 'that time of the month' and other things can be a reason for the band suddently getting very tight. A man at the Healthier Weight support group told us about a time when he was experiencing huge stress at work. He found that over the course of a week, he went from having 'normal' restriction to a point where he couldn't even swallow his own saliva! And in his case, he had not just had a fill as I have, but had been banded a couple of years before - so this really was completely out of the blue. He had to get an emergency aspiration.

I don't think I am anywhere near that point - but I did have a bit of a fright this morning. I woke up in the early hours half choking. I rushed into the bathroom and had to spit out some saliva. I remembered this man's story and wondered if I was experiencing the same thing. I slowly drank through a cup of hot water and reassured myself that all was OK - I could at least get liquid down. In hindsight, this morning's experience was almost certainly related to the fact that I went swimming last night - swimming late in the evening always makes me very snotty next morning - so I suspect I was simply 'choking' on a bit of snot / saliva in the back of my throat (sorry if this is all a bit too graphic - hope you're not eating while you read this!!!).

There is a hint that my band restriction may not be quite as ridiculously tight today, although having said that, I have so far eaten very little (haven't really felt the need!). I haven't had quite so much pain and fluids are going down slightly quicker (I can drink 0.5 litres in about one hour, as opposed to two!!!).

I will persevere and be patient and see what tomorrow brings.....

Some patterns emerging

I believe that in the fuzziness and unpredictability of my band, there are possibly some patterns in its behaviour emerging....

1. It's definitely MUCH tighter in the morning
2. It's A LOT easier to eat mushy food than to drink (yes!)
3. It's easier to drink AFTER I have eaten than before (yes again)
4. It's easier to eat mushy food than 'smooth' food like yoghurt or soup

When I say "it's easier.....", I mean that the harder option gives me mild pain in my chest (in between my boobs) and all round the sides to the middle of my back! I also get mild heartburn, lots of gurgling in my throat, and occasionally slime. I had a slime moment today - and it wasn't after I ate my dinner (Weight Watcher's ocean pie) - it was after eating a smoth Muller Light yoghurt. Well, I say "after", I had only actually eaten one fifth of it!

I really don't understand this thing about drinking being harder than eating. When I drink, the only way I can get it down is to take tiny, tiny sips - it took me about two hours this morning to drink 0.5 litres of low sugar Ribena. Even sipping it very slowly I was getting a considerable amount of discomfort - to the point that I felt like not bothering - but I know how important it is to keep drinking and stay hydrated. It feels almost like someone taking the end of a vacuum cleaner to my insides - like a sort of suction effect!

And (if you've been reading the last few posts you will know this) I have only experienced any post-fill difficulties of this sort in the last couple of days. Initially, through the fluid, mush and early solid phases - it all seemed fine! I have posted a message on the UKGastricBand forum to see if anyone has any ideas. But failing that, I am going to persevere for at least a few more days before perhaps calling my nurse to see what she says.

Watch this space!

Back on solids - or am I? Part three

...continued...... Saturday and Sunday were definitely cases of My Jekyll and Hyde Band. At breakfast on Sunday, I ate the same as the day before but I felt as though my band had got tighter. Although I got everything down in the end, it took an eon. I noticed that pure liquids like black tea and orange juice were becoming even more difficult to swallow - and I started experiencing mild indigestion. I even had a near-miss slime moment at one point and thought I was going to have to make a quick dash to the toilets! This tightness continued to lunch time where we ate in a small coffee shop. I selected jacket potato with melted cheese because I thought trying something soft was advisable. Again, I got it all down in the end but it took about an hour. I am sure the ladies in the shop were wondering how it could take anyone so long to eat a simple jacket potato! I was putting a few flakes of potato at a time onto the end of my fork. We were back home by the evening and again I opted for soft food - quorn cottage pie with soft cooked mixed vegetables.

I'll jump forward to today - which raises all sorts of unanswered questions about the behaviour of this band. In a nutshell:

1. I couldn't even drink tea first thing this morning - it took a couple of hours before I could gently swallow some low sugar Ribena
2. I had three attempts at a Muller Light yoghurt over the course of about three hours before finally getting it down
3. I ate a tiny portion of All Bran breakfast cereal at about 1230h
4. I managed to consume some leftover cottage pie at about 3pm
5. When I got home from work at 6pm I ate a Weight Watcher's mushroom soup - it took about half an hour to eat what has previously taken me five minutes

I haven't eaten my dinner yet. I'm going to attempt some soft salmon (a small portion!) and runny mash potato. I have no idea whether I will be able to get it down or how long it will take. As I have been typing this I have been slowly sipping a low sugar Ribena - it's going down but I'm getting al sorts of gurgling, a little heartburn and indigestion. Earlier today I was experiencing a tight 'band' (no pun intended) around my middle - about where my bra line goes - every time I ate or drank anything. And in case you're wondering, no my bra isn't too tight - I checked by taking it off and eating!!

So what is going on? I sailed through the mush and liquid phases after this last fill and initially, the solids seemed to be going down without any problem. So much so, that I thought the fill hadn't 'worked' and I was getting disheartened. Now, steadily over the last few days my band appears to have been getting tighter and tighter - where will it end?

Earlier today I posted a reply on the UKGastricBand forum - to a lady who was experiencing very similar symptoms to myself and was wondering if she should have a de-fill. I guess I need to take my own advice. I advised her: (a) If she was getting fluids down OK, then there's no need to panic and get a de-fill immediately - but to persevere for a little longer. (b) Switch back to soft foods and mush for a while to see if the band settles down.

I have already been down the road of getting an aspiration and would rather avoid that again - it feels like taking a step backwards. I am determined that unless this tightness becomes unbearable, or unless it actually stops me drinking and I start to become dehydrated, I will persevere and see what happens.

I'll keep you posted! Thanks for reading.

Back on solids - or am I? Part two

.....continuing from yesterday..... The salmon meal arrived and I just sat there and laughed at it - it was HUGE! The salmon was at least twice the size of anything I had eaten in the last six months and was accompanied by five very large new potatoes and half a large plateful of salad doused in mayonnaise! Well, even I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do this meal justice, but my 'fat' brain told me that I couldn't possibly waste the salmon - so I somehow stuffed it all in! I also managed one small potato - and that was my lot - I had already eaten goats cheese beforehand, don't forget!

What was interesting about Friday, was that I had much greater restriction in the morning. This eased off a little around lunch time, and then by evening, the band was relatively loose. Had I been faced with goat's cheese, salmon and potatoes in the morning I would probably have only managed one tenth of what I did manage to eat. I am aware that many bandits experience much more restriction in the morning but although I have felt hints of this previously, this is the first time I have noticed such a marked difference.

Saturday started off interestingly because I was to experience breakfast 'out'. Even before I was banded I was in the habit of not eating breakfast until relatively late - an hour or two after I get to work, and at weekends I usually lie-in and eat breakfast relatively late too. So this was going to be a test - getting up, showered, dressed, and then eating breakfast straightaway at 8am.... I started off with yoghurt rather than risk crunchy cereal. It was going down fine but it took me so long to eat - I was really just dipping the spoon in and licking it - so it took ages. I struggled a little to swallow the orange juice. This is a bit odd - finding more difficulty swallowing liquids than yoghurt or soft solids - I experienced this after an earlier fill but I have never sorted out the reason for it.

The host arrived with my breakfast long before I had finished the yoghurt and seemed surprised (I'm sure she must have thought I was just a gas-bag who had been talking rather than eating!!). I had previously selected scrambled egg and potato scone for my cooked breakfast because I thought these would go down easiest. Again - they went down OK - but really, really slowly. My other half had eaten all his massive, traditional Scottish cooked breakfast, followed up with loads of jam and toast and had three cups of tea before I had even eaten one fifth of mine!! It's ironic because he doesn't really enjoy eating out - he hates waiting......!

Lunch time was not dissimilar to the day before - I bought a cheese salad roll and ate it in three separate mini-lunches! ...And very slowly but without any real difficulty.

For evening meal, I decided that I wanted a treat - well we were away on a celebration weekend weren't we?! I decided I would have a main course followed by dessert. My plan of action included ordering an OAP size main course so that I would still have room for the dessert! Well either they forgot, or pensioners eat large meals in Scotland, because the main meal was quite large. It was pasta with spinach, goat's cheese and pine nuts. It was billed on the menu as a "light, healthy option" and it was lovely. I ate most of the cheese, pine nuts and spinach but left about a third of the pasta. I was stuffed! Too stuffed for dessert - it even made me feel sick to think about eating anything else!

So, despite feeling a little despondent a couple of days before, I was now getting cautiously optimistic that this fill was going to 'the one'..... continued tomorrow

Back on solids - or am I? Part one

I officially went back onto solids after my fifth fill at lunchtime on Wednesday 13th May. I had been quite 'good' on this occasion and stuck to fluids and mush for the requisite three days each. On Wednesday I decided to stay safe and ate some 'soft' solids - if you see what I mean. I ate a pasta salad with prawns, followed by some slices of ripe mango. Later in the evening I ate more pasta (a bit harder this time) with leeks, mushrooms, cottage cheese and tuna. That all went down fine, so the next day, Thursday, I decided to 'test' my band restriction with some quite 'firm' solid foods at lunch time. A trip to Sainsbury was again in the offing, and I selected a tuna bean salad. This consisted of a mixture of broad beans and soya beans, both of which were quite firm, plus some raw green beans and tuna. OK, I admit I had to eat a little more slowly than the day before, but it all went down at such a pace that any bystander would just think I was a slightly slow eater.

After this I confess to being a little disappointed and beginning to get dispondent about my band. It seemed to me then, that I had got through the fluid and mush stages only to find that solids were going down just as easily as they ever did!? When was I ever going to get to that stage that so many other bandits seem to be at - where they can only eat a tiny piece of x, y or z before feeling stuffed? Well, that was last Thursday - things have moved on a bit since then......

On Friday, my other half and me went off to Moffat in Scotland for the weekend to celebrate his 'special' birthday. Anxious to ensure I wasn't going to get hungry on the journey (the ol' fat gene is still there y'know!), I made myself a hearty breakfast of one egg, scrambled, one piece of toast lightly smeared with low fat margarine and half a small tin of baked beans. The egg and beans went down fine but I could only manage a couple of bites of the toast - which to be honest, with the beans on top, had turned into a soggy orange mush! So, I ate what I could and resigned the rest to the bin. Then at lunch time, taken at a motorway service station, I bought a cheese salad sandwich - nothing like being an optimist eh? To be fair, it went down OK - eventually - it took about an hour and a half to eat one sandwich!!! I can recall times in the past where about one and a half minutes would have sufficed!

That evening we ate out in a restaurant. I had already decided beforehand that I was going to have a soup for starter - I thought that ought to go down without touching the sides. I was going to follow that up with a small main course or a starter. In the event, the only soup available was for carnivores only so I opted for a melted goats cheese starter instead. I really enjoyed that - and it went down fine. The only problem was, by the time I had finished eating this tiny piece of melted cheese (well, at least it was melted when I started - by the time I finished it was completely solid again!) - I was stuffed!! I still had salmon and potatoes to come......... read on tomorrow............

New bra!

Inspired by a post on the UKGastricBand forum, I am reminded that I purchased two new bras last weekend. My old bras have been steadily getting bigger and bigger (well actually, I have been getting smaller and smaller - but you know what I mean) but since they are so expensive and such a faff to buy, I have been holding on as long as I could before replacing them. A couple of weeks ago I went to the first session of a pilates course. When I laid down on the floor to do one of the exercises I wondered where my boobs had disappeared to - in fact they were hanging down my sides!! That's how much support my bra was (or wasn't) providing! Ha ha!

Anyway, I decided enough was enough and marched myself off to Marks and Spencer to get measured up. My old bras were size 44E. My new size? Wait for it....... 38DD!! I couldn't believe it - in fact I asked the lady if she was sure she had done it right! No wonder my boobs have been hanging all over the shop in my old bras - even the lady in M+S commented that my bra wasn't giving me any support at all. Obviously when you are a young girl growing up, you pass through all the sizes before getting to your adult size - my adult size was always 38!! I cannot believe that my chest measurement is now basically as small as it ever was as an adult!

Armed with a pocket full of money (to any blokes reading this - bras really are expensive!!) I set about selecting a couple of new 'uns. Sitting here typing this now, with one of them on of course, I have to say it really feels comfortable and is giving me heaps of support. I also seem to have more 'shape' to my upper body than previously, with bits poking in and out in the right places if you see what I mean! M+S have a special deal on at the moment offering 25% of all bras - apparently this is meant to be some sort of recompense for their now discarded policy of charging more for bigger sizes - they have apologised about that!! See: http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2009/may/08/marks-and-spencer-bras-facebook

So ladies, don't delay, get yourselves down to M+S (I'm not on a commission, honest!) and get some support!

Avoiding the pub - and other temptations

On the UKGastricBand forum the other day I responded to a lady who was struggling with chocolate. Being an expert in this area (eating it, not avoiding it!), I offered her some tips on how to avoid chocolate - ways that I have used myself to help. Mostly it's about environmental control - simply avoiding buying chocolate or avoiding vending machines and corner shops and the like. Anyway, it got me thinking about my visits to the pub on swimming night.....

Basically, I belong to an adult's swimming club and we meet for an hour's swim every Tuesday evening. We are a very sociable group and have some sort of social event every couple of months or so - usually a meal out or something. We also go straight to the pub after swimming on Tuesdays. We don't normally stay very long because swimming doesn't finish till 10pm and most of us have to get up for work in the morning. However, we stay long enough to have a drink or two. I've been swimming all my life, and one thing is certain, swimming always makes me feel very hungry - starving in fact. So, pub visits usually mean crisps or peanuts. I got to thinking that if I have a calorie-filled drink and a packet of nuts - I've probably put back most, or all, of the calories I've burned by swimming!

So, I have decided to leaf out of my own book and exert some environmental control. In future when I go swimming, I am going to be anti-social and not go to the pub afterwards. If I am hungry when I get home, I will at least have the option to have a more healthy snack such as yoghurt or something. This will also have the added benefit of me getting to bed a bit earlier - so I'll be less tired when I get up for work the next morning!

Fun ways to burn calories....

Good news people! Calorie-burning activities don't have to be limited to dull, repetitive exercise such as walking, jogging, swimming etc - you can also burn calories during SEX!! I've been curious about this ever since I found a web site that listed calories burned during a really wide range of activities. It included activities such as car maintenance and painting and decorating alongside running, walking and other more conventional exercise activities, but didn't include sex. I was a little hesitant to go searching on the Internet for information in case my search took me to web sites that I didn't want to see - if you see what I mean! But tonight I took the plunge - and it seems that lots of other people have also been curious about the question "How many calories burned during sex?". I found several web sites with information, some rather dubious......, but this one:

http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc

....lists sexual intercourse among one of many other activities. It has a facility whereby you can insert your weight in pounds, and then type in the number of minutes the activity took place over. You then click on 'calculate' and it tells you how many calories you've burned. A 20-minute sexual encounter for someone my weight burns 125 calories - more than half a KitKat!!!!

I'm SOoooo happy - I'm overweight!

I just updated my weight loss ticker and realised that I have passed an important milestone - my BMI has gone below 30 (just). That means I am no longer classified as OBESE - now I'm just OVERWEIGHT!!

Wow! Does this mean I am on my way to becoming a 'normal' member of society at last?!!

What I really want to know, is how do I celebrate? In the past I would be off down the shop for a bag of chocolate goodies..... I suppose I could celebrate with a Muller Light or a green salad????!!

A mixed bag of food today

I have eaten something of a mixed bag today. The day started off at about 7am with tea and orange juice (50 calories). By 9am (while at work) I managed half a packet of Oatso Simple with milk (110). I probably could have eaten more then but had a relatively early lunch instead. I ate my lunch at 12.15 - this consisted of vegetarian cottage pie and some frozen mixed veg (cooked up last night) (220). I followed lunch up at about 2.30 with a Weight Watcher's yoghurt (50). By 3.30pm I was hungry again and thought I'd have a low fat creamed rice - but discovered I didn't have any left at work. So I held on until I got home about 5pm and then ate some cold potatoes (80) that were left over from last night's dinner (I still keep over-estimating portion sizes when I'm cooking!)!! Within an hour I was eating again - this time a Weight Watcher's ocean pie (175). I have to eat relatively early on Tuesday's because I go swimming at 9pm, but I was hungry enough to eat anyway. I didn't eat all of the ocean pie - because I had another microwave moment and caused a mini-explosion! The result was that there was only about 80% of it left for me to eat - oh, and I was hungry enough soon after to eat that low fat creamed rice (125) I'd hankered for earlier in the day!! So at 6.45pm I am finally sat here completely fed and watered until I go swimming. Since swimming ALWAYS makes me very hungry I expect to eat something when I get home - perhaps another yoghurt (50) or a couple of rice cakes (70) or something.

So a bit of a weird day all in all. I have eaten quite a lot of carbohydrates and dairy but relatively little fruit, veg and protein. Although, from the description above, it may appear that I have done nothing all day except eat, I have still only consumed about 800 calories in total. Can I learn any lessons from today's experience? A couple of things perhaps:

1. Eat more in the morning so I start the day off well and don't spend all day just going from one hunger moment to another. Breakfast was well under 200 calories and it's supposed to be the main meal of the day. Ideally I should eat more like 300 calories for breakfast. I know that I have a psychological barrier to this - it's like an in-built fear to using up my calorie allowance early in the day and not being able/allowed to eat later on. Silly really, I know, but it's that fat gene in me again.

2. Eat more protein. Protein, as well as being essential for healthy bones and teeth etc, is also more filling than othr food types and so keeps hunger at bay.

I am certain that I have 'learned' these lessons before but I think I just keep forgetting them!!!

Feeling tired

I have been feeling incredibly tired and lethargic for the past few days. I am not entirely certain that this lethargy stems from the day I had a fill - but it seems most likely. That said, I'm not sure I can explain it. I have been eating a little less than prior to the fill - mainly because I've been on fluids and mush rather than because of any new-found restriction - but not enough less to leave me feeling so exhausted each day. Today I was walking up a gentle hill along the street in Liverpool and almost had to stop on the way up for a rest!! Now, considering I've recently climbed up the second highest mountain in the English Lake District, having difficulty getting up a street in a city is a bit bizarre!!

Not only is my body feeling tired - as though I've been on a long walk (which I haven't), but I am also feeling really sleepy. I never have been one for getting up early in the morning and always enjoy a Saturday morning lie-in. But at the moment I am really struggling to get out of bed in the morning and twice I have completely ignored my alarm clock - and slept right through it!! Even as I type this, I could quite easily rest my head on my arms and go to sleep for a few hours..... in fact...... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Whoah!!! Wake up girl!

Anyway, I have decided that in the short run (i.e. for today only), I am going to eat what I want, when I want. I am going to listen to my body and if it says "I'm hungry", or "I need fooooooood" - I'm going to listen to it and feed it. I have no idea if this will make any difference to my energy levels but anything's worth a try (and it will be nice trying!!!). I'll let you know how I get on.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Early post-fill update

Well, so far I have gone from fluids-only onto mush - and I know it's far too early to give any definitive post-fill status, but I thought it might be useful to describe some of my eating experiences since my fill on Thursday. I stuck fairly rigidly to fluids on Thursday evening, Friday and during the day on Saturday. This time, I was too lazy to make my own homemade soup as I have done on previous occasions, and so ate Weight Watcher's mushroom soup (with the mushroom bits sieved out!) and Weight-To-Go parsnip soup. I had a couple of soups each day plus strawberry shake. To make the latter more interesting and filling, I blended in banana, milk and apple to make a really nutritious drink. I've also been drinking lots of black tea, low sugar Ribena and water. However, on Friday and Saturday, I found it impossible to consume what I consider to be enough calories per day (i.e. about 850 as a minimum, but ideally 1000). So I did what I have done previously while on the fluid phase, and sucked some chocolate!! I consider this my reward for surviving on soup only and it does no harm - it boosts my calorie intake to a more acceptable level and hey, chocolate does have some nutrition in it!!

I've had a little extra gurgling in my throat when I swallow drinks - particularly in the morning. However, it's nothing like as bad as it was on the occasion when my fill was too tight, and I think it's a common experience for most people during the first few days after a fill. I have not had any vomiting or slime, though I had a hint of slime coming on, on the first day after a I drank some shake. What I have noticed is that it defintely takes me longer to consume anything in the morning. On Friday it took me about an hour to drink a cup of tea and a glass of orange juice!! However, this has reduced on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I find it helps if I have something warm or hot first (like tea, soup or low fat creamed rice), and then have cold drinks like orange juice and/or shake. Having said that, this moning my breakfast drinks went down at near-normal rate (with tea first, then orange, then creamed rice).

On Saturday evening I moved back onto mush and had mashed potato, scrambled egg and some baked beans for dinner. This all went down very well with no problems. I did my usual and ate it quite slowly, taking about 30 minutes. I also chew everything well before swallowing and eat off a 7-inch side plate. After eating this I felt pretty full and did not want or need an evening yoghurt.

Today (Sunday), I had low fat creamed rice for breakfast and orange juice. For lunch I had a Weight-To-Go smoked haddock and potato meal which was lovely. I made certain that I chewed the fish well and had no problems getting it down. I was really quite full afterwards and didn't start to feel peckish again for several hours.

So, in a nutshell, I still don't really know whether I have good restriction yet because I am still eating soft, slider foods. However, I am relieved that I am not too tight and in need of an aspiration - particularly since I now have more fluid in my band than I had previously when I did need an aspiration! The signs are good for restriction but I'm not getting too excited yet. I cannot wait until I get back onto proper solid foods to see whether I am anywhere near my 'sweet spot' at last!!

Like buses, milestones come in threes....

I have got three weight-related milestones coming up in the very near future - in fact I passed one of them this morning!

Milestone 1: Getting below 200 pounds for the first time in decades - I achieved this one today as I am now at 197lbs (14 stone 1lb).

Milestone 2: Getting below 14 stone - I have two pounds to go before I am into the 13's.

Milestone 3: Getting below a BMI of 30, which takes me from being 'obese' to 'overweight'!!

Of the three, the one I am most looking forward to achieving is the last. It will be a truly massive day for me when I can (and probably will) shout from the rooftops that "I am no longer OBESE!!!".

Sixth band adjustment

Yesterday I travelled to Birmingham to get my sixth band adjustment - and fifth fill (my fourth adjustment was an aspiration). The history of my band adjustments so far is:

Fill 19th January - 5ml
Fill 15th February - 1.5ml
Fill 26th February - 1ml
De-fill 4th March - 0.5ml
Fill 22nd March - 0.3ml
Fill 7th May - 0.4ml

So I now have a total fill in 10ml band of 7.7ml.

Obviously I am now on fluids for three days and then mush for three days so it will be a while before I know how much difference this latest fill makes. However, what I am confident about is that when I drank water afterwards - it went down fine! This fill has taken me to 0.2ml MORE than I had when I had to have the aspiration - I wasn't able to drink water easily on that occasion. This demonstrates that the band really does have a mind of its own! I asked the nurse whether the weight loss I have achieved in the interim could cause the band to get looser - but she said no. It's possible that the solution in the band moves around somewhat and this could explain why 7.5ml two months ago was too much - but now it isn't (well, probably!!).

So far I've just had some soups and drinks so I will report back again on this in a few days to let you know of progress.

Fix my fat head

A couple of nights ago I watched an ITV documentary called "Fix My Fat Head", about a 35 year old woman who is overweight. She weighs 21 stone and the documentary was about her attempts to find a solution to the psychological reasons for over-eating. She tried a support group, hypnotherapy, psychological therapy, and simply trying to discuss childhood issues with her parents. I've picked out a few things that I found particularly interesting:

1. When she was encouraged to talk to her mother about childhood issues, she used the phrase "love on a plate". She was referring to the way that her parents used food provision as a way of showing love. This really hit home with me and made me think of my own family. It was (and still is) a family tradition to show love through the provision of food - over-provision represents the strength of love. I guess that the reverse may also be true – not finishing food shows a lack of love. I certainly recall my parents always encouraging me to clean my plate and eat all my dinner. I expect that my mother took it as a personal rejection of her if I ever left food on my plate. I hadn't even realised this until last night. My parents always had the same hang-up about money. If someone asked them for one pound they would give two – in order that no-one would think of them as mean! Hannah, the lady in the programme, found it difficult to talk to her mother about this issue because she got so defensive about things. I never spoke to my mother about this but expect that she would have been very defensive too.

2. There was a suggestion in the programme that Hannah may have been a lonely child - and that she had used food as her companion. I have a sister and two brothers so my initial reaction to this was that I would not have been lonely and therefore this would not have applied to me. However, ever heard the expression "lonely in a crowd"....?

3. Hannah had a lodger who did all her shopping and cooking (chance would be a fine thing!!!). This was a bit of a problem because it meant she had little control over what food was served up. When she was trying to eat more heathily, he would sit eating unhealthy and attractive foods right in front of her. He talked about denying her certain foods as being "tough love"- i.e. denial for her own good. Hannah found this concept difficult and said what pleasure would she have in life if she cannot eat what she wanted!

4. I got the distinct impression that Hannah was not really willing to persevere with different methods. She was looking for an instant solution and in my opinion, would really struggle with a band! For example, she tried hypnotherapy just twice - and immediately expected things to change and was disppointed that they hadn't. She also seemed unwilling to analyse the reasons for her over-eating and I got the feeling that she was putting on a brave face a lot of the time. She herself accpeted that she uses food as an emotional crutch a lot of the time rather than dealing with her issues. The therapist suggested that she should try using her friends as a crutch more often!

5. I think part of the root of Hannah's problem is that she is unwilling to actually put into practice what she clearly knows about healthy eating and exercise. She only eats pasties, chips and all sorts of unhealthy food. She doesn't or won't eat healthy vegetables and food. Further examples of her apparent unwillingness to adapt and change could be seen in some of the things she said about food. I was shocked twhen she said she had never tasted fish.........?! She had also never eaten “raw” cheese (i.e. not melted!). She simply explaind away her reluctance to try new things by saying "making me eat aubergine isn't going to make me thinner"!

6. I was interested to note that the therapist lady set Hannah a challenge – only to eat when she's hungry – and not to eat when she has emotional needs. She also told her to eat much more slowly and chew evberything really well. Sounds familiar.....!

All in all, a very interesting programme. It didn't produce any watertight psychological solutions to over-eating but did shed light on some of the reasons for emotional eating. It's also made me think a little more about the root of my own obesity - though I have never been very good at self analysis. What makes me wonder about my childhood, is that none of my siblings turned out fat - they are all normal, healthy weights. So why me????

Ice cream treat for a dark walk

On Bank Holiday Monday this week I decided to go for a decent walk - somewhere. After taking an absolute age to make a decision as to where I would go, I headed off for toward the eastern Pennines (east of Manchester). I ended up walking along a stretch of the Pennine Way, a 300-mile trail that goes from the Peak District in the south to near Hexham in the north east of England. Funnily enough, I've always cherished a quiet ambition to walk the whole of the Pennine Way - it takes about 21 days and local folklore is that if you can manage the first three days - you'll get to the end! This is because the first three days takes you over the highest and remotest moors of the so-called Dark Peak. It's so-called because it's composed of the dark-coloured local Coal Measures Gritstone and gives rise to enormous plateaux of deep, dark peat. The appearance of this upland moorland country is bleak and somehow threatening - but nevertheless impressive and spectacular. I would still love to walk the whole trail someday - I'd just have to find three weeks off work......

Well anyway, on Monday, I found myself walking along a section of the Pennine Way that would normally be met on about day three if you were doing the whole walk. I took in the peak of Black Hill (an ominous name, eh?), standing at 580m in the midst of a broad, windswept, dark plateau (see photo). The path began as a pleasant amble across open grassland but quickly ascended up to, and along, an exposed gritstone edge overlooking a stream valley, Crowden Brook. This was quite pleasant until the rain started to fall more heavily. Later, the route opened out onto the plateau top where the wind mercilessly ripped through my supposed windproof clothing. I met a man at the summit who was looking for a group of girls doing the Duke of Edinburgh award scheme - but at that point I hadn't seen them.

After a hastily eaten 'lunch' (at about 2.30pm!) of cold sardines and some salad (!) I bid a hasty retreat down to the more sheltered route back along the stream valley. The rain was falling hard now and the wind just as vigorous so there was no realistic possibility of being able to sit down anywhere to eat. Consequently, I only ate half my lunch. This is not unusual when I am out on a walk - I tend to get much more thirsty than hungry and I often don't eat my lunch until I get back to the car! I still haven't really managed to design an ideal 'walking lunch' though. I posted a couple of months ago about some dismal failures of lunches taken out onto the mountains with me - I still don't seem to be able to get it right. I suppose I am looking for a lunch that satisfies all the restrictions and requirements of being a bandit, while at the same time providing plenty of energy for high energy-output activity. I guess I'll keep experimenting......

I met the 'missing' group of girls on the way back and had a little conversation with them - they looked as though they needed a bit of encouragement - they were wet through, carring heavy ruksaks and looking very tired! As was I after a couple more hours of walking! I returned to the car at about 6pm, after 5 hours of solid walking. I was rather damp but not seriously wet. I was quite tired - I think walking in wind and rain is more tiring than walking in fine weather. I ate the remainder of my lunch in the car before setting off back to the warmth and dryness of home. I'd walked about 14km, ascended about 500m and clocked up 22,000 steps on my pedometer - burning about 1800 calories!!!

That evening I decided to treat myself - we went to the cinema to see "State of Play" and I ate a huge ice cream sundae! Before going to bed I did my usual calculations to see how many calories I'd burned, how many I'd eaten and the totally calorie deficit etc for the day. Even with the ice cream, I had a total calorie deficit for the day of 1900 - more than half a pound!!! Perhaps if I'd known that I could have had two ice creams.....

.....only joking!!

The photograph (from http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/616922 ) is copyrighted but also licensed for further reuse (under the Creative Commons Licence). Copyright owned by George Tod.

Whooohoooo!!

More about the trip to Scotland. I do this trip every year. There is one day when myself and my colleagues walk up a steep valley in the Highlands. The total ascent is only about 300m but it's quite steep and takes a considerable effort. I've done this walk on the last three occasions that we've done this trip. I have absolutely hated it. The thought of doing this walk has filled me with dread for months beforehand and has been the central subject of nightmares - really. I've dreaded it so much because it's been exhausting. My colleagues are so much fitter than me and so I have always trailed miles behind them, slowing them down and slowing down the whole visit. While they have light-footedly flown up the mountain and arrived at the top fresh-faced and ready for more, I have arrived totally out of breath, sweat pouring down my face, red-faced (though purple is probably more like it) and it's just been such an awful experience. I haven't even been able to look at the features we were supposed to be looking at because I have been so fixated on simply putting one foot in front of the other. For the last three years I have been totally embarrassed about my physical condition and the sheer effort that I have needed to get up this dammed hill.

But not any more!! This time it was different. Weighing five and a half stones less and feeling so much fitter, I had actually been looking forward to this climb. For the first time, I regarded it as a challenge to be met head-on. I really was excited at the prospect of testing myself - to see how my fitness levels had improved over the past few months. I was not to be disappointed.....

In the past I have always taken up my obvious position at the back of the party (of about 20 people). I've started last and finished last - miles behind everyone else. This year, feeling positive, I decided to position myself about half way through the group and just see how I got on......... I got to the top with only four people in front of me!!! FANTASTIC!!! That was how I felt! I arrived at the top feeling as though I could have gone on a lot further. I felt fresh. There was harly a bead of sweat on me. There was a spring in my step. I was even able to stop along the route at 'difficult' spots and assist others along the path!! I was one of the first people down too. Amazing.

Back in the vehicles afterwards, making our way back to base, I commented to a trusted colleague on my increased level of fitness and said how great I felt. I couldn't resist but let out a huge"WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!" - I was just so excited!!

I know there are lots of reasons for wanting to lose weight - improved health, appearance, practicalities (e.g. clothes etc). But for me, my lack of fitness has always been a key driver. I know I still have a long way to go - this was after all, just a 300m climb, not exactly Everest eh?! BUT, it's a great start, it has improved my self-confidence no end and for the first time since I started this weight loss-band venture, I truly feel that I have made some real, lasting progress.

So, in case you missed it the first time round, WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Burning calories in the Highlands

I am back from my jolly jaunt in the Scottish Highlands and have returned feeling very fit and energetic! Although this was a work-related trip I have managed to fit in LOADS of walking over the past week, spent in the Highlands of Scotland. Most days I managed at least 15,000 steps - and this over rough, hilly ground, and often uphill. I must have burned loads of calories. However, I haven't lost any weight this week because I have been putting in just as many calories as I have burned!!

A typical breakfast consisted of a small bowl of muesli followed by two slices of bread and marmalade. Typically, lunch was a cheese and pickle sandwich (or two, on some days), plus a small chocolate bar (like a Penguin) and a piece of fruit. I often supplemented this with an Alpen Light cereal bar too. Evening meals consisted of three, yes you read that correctly, THREE courses! First there was soup. This is obviously a slider food so it slipped down nicely, leaving plenty of room for my main meal! The main meals were slightly on the small side by 'normal' people's standards but were very large compared to what I have been eating for the last few months. Consequently, I was pretty full after each eveing meal. I didn't finish it every night but passed out leftovers to my more hungry male colleagues! I ate dessert every night too - also consisting of slider foods such as apple pie and a spoonful of custard. On top of all that (as if that wasn't enough), most evenings I also had a pint or two of calorie-laden orange juice and lemonade or shandy - well you've got to be sociable haven't you?!

On the plus side though, when I got home I weighed myself on my new super-duper body impedance bathroom scales (see a post to come later this week) and it seems that my body fat percentage and visceral fat have fallen over the past week. In other words, I have put on a significant amount of muscle. Certainly, the way my legs are starting to feel hard if I tense them up, and the goat-like way I managed some of the steeper climbs, seems to suggest I have developed more muscle.

For now, it's away with the luxury of three course meals and back to some serious, healthy eating. I am only about five pounds away from the magic BMI boundary of 30 that will take me from 'Obese' to 'Overweight' - so I really must get back to some serious business.

A couple of grand!

While I have been away the total number of visitors to this blog has passed 2000! MANY thanks to all the readers - whether you are a regular visitor or whether you just popped in as a 'one-off'. I hope you find the blog interesting, useful, helpful and entertaining. If ever there is anything you would like to see more of, or less of, or if you've any thoughts about what and when I should post - please feel free to post a comment and tell me!!

Good luck with weight loss - however you are doing it!