Fix my fat head

A couple of nights ago I watched an ITV documentary called "Fix My Fat Head", about a 35 year old woman who is overweight. She weighs 21 stone and the documentary was about her attempts to find a solution to the psychological reasons for over-eating. She tried a support group, hypnotherapy, psychological therapy, and simply trying to discuss childhood issues with her parents. I've picked out a few things that I found particularly interesting:

1. When she was encouraged to talk to her mother about childhood issues, she used the phrase "love on a plate". She was referring to the way that her parents used food provision as a way of showing love. This really hit home with me and made me think of my own family. It was (and still is) a family tradition to show love through the provision of food - over-provision represents the strength of love. I guess that the reverse may also be true – not finishing food shows a lack of love. I certainly recall my parents always encouraging me to clean my plate and eat all my dinner. I expect that my mother took it as a personal rejection of her if I ever left food on my plate. I hadn't even realised this until last night. My parents always had the same hang-up about money. If someone asked them for one pound they would give two – in order that no-one would think of them as mean! Hannah, the lady in the programme, found it difficult to talk to her mother about this issue because she got so defensive about things. I never spoke to my mother about this but expect that she would have been very defensive too.

2. There was a suggestion in the programme that Hannah may have been a lonely child - and that she had used food as her companion. I have a sister and two brothers so my initial reaction to this was that I would not have been lonely and therefore this would not have applied to me. However, ever heard the expression "lonely in a crowd"....?

3. Hannah had a lodger who did all her shopping and cooking (chance would be a fine thing!!!). This was a bit of a problem because it meant she had little control over what food was served up. When she was trying to eat more heathily, he would sit eating unhealthy and attractive foods right in front of her. He talked about denying her certain foods as being "tough love"- i.e. denial for her own good. Hannah found this concept difficult and said what pleasure would she have in life if she cannot eat what she wanted!

4. I got the distinct impression that Hannah was not really willing to persevere with different methods. She was looking for an instant solution and in my opinion, would really struggle with a band! For example, she tried hypnotherapy just twice - and immediately expected things to change and was disppointed that they hadn't. She also seemed unwilling to analyse the reasons for her over-eating and I got the feeling that she was putting on a brave face a lot of the time. She herself accpeted that she uses food as an emotional crutch a lot of the time rather than dealing with her issues. The therapist suggested that she should try using her friends as a crutch more often!

5. I think part of the root of Hannah's problem is that she is unwilling to actually put into practice what she clearly knows about healthy eating and exercise. She only eats pasties, chips and all sorts of unhealthy food. She doesn't or won't eat healthy vegetables and food. Further examples of her apparent unwillingness to adapt and change could be seen in some of the things she said about food. I was shocked twhen she said she had never tasted fish.........?! She had also never eaten “raw” cheese (i.e. not melted!). She simply explaind away her reluctance to try new things by saying "making me eat aubergine isn't going to make me thinner"!

6. I was interested to note that the therapist lady set Hannah a challenge – only to eat when she's hungry – and not to eat when she has emotional needs. She also told her to eat much more slowly and chew evberything really well. Sounds familiar.....!

All in all, a very interesting programme. It didn't produce any watertight psychological solutions to over-eating but did shed light on some of the reasons for emotional eating. It's also made me think a little more about the root of my own obesity - though I have never been very good at self analysis. What makes me wonder about my childhood, is that none of my siblings turned out fat - they are all normal, healthy weights. So why me????