Colleague number 2.....

If you read my blog regularly you will know that I told a work colleague about my band a few weeks ago. Well now a second colleague knows. Liz has been curious about the op that I had in November and around that time asked me directly, what I had "had done". I responded that I didn't want to say - and that I might decide to tell people in the future but not at that time. Well, while chatting over coffee a couple of days ago we got talking about my weight loss. She commented that I looked as though I'd lost more weight. Then out of the blue she said "is your weight loss related to the op that you had". Well, setting aside the fact that (a) Jane (the other colleague) was standing there, and (b) I am not prone to lying outright - I found myself saying "yes". She then said that I was "our own Fern Britton....."!

So we went for coffee the next day and I told her all - I didn't really have much choice. She was understanding and sympathetic and asked the right sort of questions etc. However, I am uneasy about having told her because she is not the most discreet person I know. I am a little fearful that now the floodgates may have been opened. I am not sure how I feel about this. A few months ago I might have been horrified but now I am not so sure. I often find myself thinking "shall I tell x?", and then deciding not to - but it's a close run thing. I guess that on the one hand I am anxious that I get an opportunity to explain to people what the band is all about because there are so many misconceptions about it. I am afraid that if people find out about the band from someone else, they will be saying "ahhhh, that's how she lost all that weight..... nudge nudge, wink wink". Will they be calling me a cheat behind my back? On the other hand, the band is working for me, I know the truth - that's it's not cheating, it's not a quick fix and it definitely is not the easy option - so why sould I care two hoots what anyone else thinks?! The trouble is, this kind of bravado can only ome from people who are brimming with self belief and confidence - of a kind that I don't yet have.

So for now, I will have to remain a little uneasy, be careful what I say and keep my fingers crossed that Liz doesn't spill the beans.