Two steps forward, one step back....

Today hasn't been good. It started with the two and a half hours it took me to drink 200ml of tea, 200ml of orange and 200ml of strawberry shake, all accompanied with constant gurgling, indigestion, pain behind my breastbone and other shooting pains generally around my abdomen. Oddly enough, I could have coped with that, but then I ate some scrambled egg. It was prepared exactly the same as the scrambled egg I ate at about the same time yesterday - and I was looking forward to it. In fact I managed to eat most of it - carefully, slowly, and 'chewing' each morsel exaggeratedly (if chewing is what you can call it - more like squashing it with my tongue really!). Just as I was finishing the gurgling got worse and then I had quite nasty pain in the back of my throat to the point where I was even finding it difficult to breathe. My mouth then started filling up with saliva. I kept swallowing it, thinking I could somehow overcome this phenomenon by sheer willpower. But it was not to be. Fearful of a nasty accident on my desk I rushed down to the toilets. I spent what seemed like hours bent over the loo while loads of saliva just kept pouring out. This was accompanied by cramp-like sensations in my stomach, abdomen and upper chest. By the time this was all over I was really quite exhausted and felt quite ill for two or three hours. During this time I was actually afraid of drinking anything so started to get dehydrated. By mid-afternoon I became convinced that none of this was normal and phoned the bariatric nurse at Healther Weight. I explained my symptoms and she immediately said that I was obviously "too tight". I have arranged to see her for a small aspiration in Birmingham on Wednesday and until then I'm back on fluids.

These bands - are they weird or what? Last night I ate a small mushy meal of pasta, fish and broccoli - all without any problem - and yet today I can't even get pure fluids down without a struggle!! I tell you, the next time I hear anyone talk about the band as being a 'quick fix' or worse, the 'easy option', I think I'm going to punch them on the nose!!!

So, the result is, having got 7.5ml put in my band, I'm going to take a step back (but hopefully forwards, if you see what I mean) - probably to about 7ml (6.5ml gave me no restriction at all). It brings home the warning printed in my 'band book': "People occasionaly make the mistake of thinking that 'more is better' - that if the band is working well at one level of adjustment, it will work even better if we make it tighter. This is a serious mistake." (from Your Surgery: A before and after guide to getting the most from your surgery by Healthier Weight). I must confess that when the nurse said last week that she was going to put 0.7ml in, I was a bit disappointed. However, I described what and how I was eating (completely truthfully), and the fact that I could easily eat bread, pasta and other 'difficult' foods - she changed her mind and increased it to 1ml. I was quite pleased about that because I doubted that 0.7ml would make that much difference - how wrong can you be?!!

This evening so far, I have managed some Ribena and four squares of Dairy Milk chocolate (well, a woman has to get her calories from somewhere, doesn't she?!). I am going to keep trying to get fluids down and may be really adventurous and try some soup later.... ah well, no-one said this was going to be easy!