My ‘Food Story’ - Part 5: So why get banded?

All my overweight life, I always believed, somewhere in the back of my mind, that one day, just one day, I would lose all this excess weight and be slim and fit. I’d be able to walk into any high street shop and buy ‘normal’ clothes. I’d not have any difficulties buying specialist clothing such as waterproofs, salopettes (!), motorcycle leathers and walking gear. I’d be fit, able to walk up hills as fast as my husband, 25 years my senior. And I’d feel good, look good, be accepted, not be whispered about and laughed at. I didn’t have a plan as to how or when this was going to happen. I guess I just believed that one day I would summon up the willpower to be able to do it all by myself.

When I reached my fortieth birthday, I realised that I was firmly in the middle-aged phase of life. I also realised that my weight was now not just a temporary ‘blip’ but a permanent state that was going to rapidly shorten my lifespan, and almost certainly bring with it a whole host of medical problems. Not least of those medical problems were those of a psychological nature - a complete lack of self-esteem and self-confidence and recurring cycles of depression. During these last four years, I slowly but surely came to accept that under my own steam, relying on sheer willpower alone, I was never going to be that slim person I’d so dreamed of. I recalled seeing a lady on TV a few years before speaking of how she’d had gastric surgery. I couldn’t remember whether she’d had a band or a bypass – and at the time I didn’t know the difference, but I do remember thinking how desperate she must have been to put herself through that. I’d also heard various snippets of information about people having their stomach ‘stapled’ and a couple of months ago decided, very privately, to find some information about it on the Internet.

I found out fairly quickly about the different types of gastric surgery available and that the band was almost certainly the best and most appropriate option for me. I also discovered that while there are lots of cosmetic surgery companies out there offering gastric banding, Healthier Weight has as one its guiding beliefs, that gastric band surgery is emphatically not cosmetic surgery. This certainly fits with my own views on the matter. I gathered all the information I needed, including costs, and broached the subject with my husband. He says now that he was a bit shocked at first (so was I!), but he knows that I don’t go into anything light-heartedly. I’m an ‘all or nothing’ sort of person and he trusted that I’d looked into all the possibilities, all the probable outcomes and risks and allowed me to make my own decision – with no pressure, only support.

I think that once I’d got used to the idea for a few days, my brain just came to accept that that was what I was going to do. I did get a small attack of nerves just a few days before the pre-op diet began, and questioned whether this was the right thing to do –but truthfully, my main concern was whether or not I’d ever be able to do ‘normal’ things again – like go out for a meal with my family. I thought a lot about that and decided that even if I couldn’t, the alternative just wasn’t worth thinking about. I’ve since decided that I could do that anyway (soup for starter, starter for main course, ice cream for dessert!), although not too frequently.

So, the decision was made. And here I am, 8 days post-op, feeling very positive and bright about the future. I know it’s not going to be a ‘picnic’ (not the best metaphor!) and there will be tough times ahead. But all I have to do during those times is think of what I was like, what I would have been like, and where my future was heading.